Page 37 of Built to Last

“I probably should have hired an HR firm,” Anika admits. “I kind of thought I wouldn’t need one.”

I stare up at Reid, getting into his space. I wish he wasn’t so tall. And broad. “Like my other experience, you made it awkward and weird, and I’m going to try to forget it ever happened. Which will probably be easy because I’ll get more enjoyment out of using my sledgehammer than I’ll ever get from you.”

The man lights up. Like he is loving this. “Oh, then I’ll have to try harder.”

“Yep, definitely needed a human resources department.” Anika nods. “Now I’ll end up with lawyers when someone sues about the very uncomfortable workplace this set is becoming. I’m talking to you, Reid.”

“I don’t know. Harper just talked about taking pleasure from a sledgehammer,” Ivy points out. “We might have to send her there, too.”

My friends are not helping. “I did not say that.”

“You kind of did,” Reid offers.

“I thought the sledgehammer was a metaphor for Reid’s dick.” Jeremiah joins Ivy and Ani. “I can’t figure out if she’s saying his dick can ruin walls or his dick is smaller than a sledgehammer.” He looks to me. “Harper, I’m going to need you to be way clearer with your metaphors.”

“It was not a metaphor, and I was not talking about anyone’s penis,” I announce.

The director puts his fingers in his ears and starts to hum.

Patrick frowns my way. “Now you’ve broken Tom. That man had to survive filming three seasons of House of Skanks. Do you know how much he’s been through?”

“A whole lot of lawyers, probably,” Jeremiah quips. “You know because of all the harassment claims.”

Reid sighs. “There’s no harassment. I apologize, Harper. I thought maybe some sparring would bring you out of your shell.”

I don’t want to be an adult, but it does seem like we’ve sent the poor director into a PTSD episode. “I apologize for making people think I was referring to your penis as a sledgehammer.”

“I think we should bar the word penis,” Ani says with an overly bright smile. “And virgin. All those words. We don’t need them here. Tom, are you okay? I’m going to check on him. He really did have a hard time.”

“Well, it was called House of Skanks. Of course it was hard. I bet many of them were hard,” Ivy replies as she starts to follow Ani. “I saw that show. He’s lucky he didn’t get a contact STI.”

“You are not helping,” Ani hisses.

“Are they going to stop staring at each other?” Patrick asks, leaning Jeremiah’s way.

“Eventually,” Jeremiah replies. “But that can take a while. They do this thing where they stare and neither one wants to break away, and I can’t figure out if it’s because they’re trying to establish dominance or they really like the way the other one looks. It could go either way. We should grab a coffee.”

I am staring at him. And I’m fairly certain I’m trying to establish dominance and not the other thing. I break eye contact and take a step back. I don’t need dominance over this man. I simply need to do my job.

“I have some stuff to get done. But everyone else take a ten-minute break and we’ll get back to Reid soon,” Patrick announces. “After we talk Tom down. Thanks, people.”

I didn’t mean to send the director into some sort of shame spiral. I don’t know what to call it. “Well, I have a wall to remove. Excuse me.”

“Have fun with your…sledgehammer.” Reid gives me a jaunty salute. “I’ll be somewhere planning color schemes that didn’t exist in the Gilded Age.”

“I’m sure you will,” I reply.

“I will,” he says back.

“And it will be terrible.”

He stares at me with intense eyes. “It will.”

I am so annoyed. And a bit aroused. “You have to have the last word, don’t you?”

“I don’t know, Harper. Do I?”

“Yes, you do.”

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