Page 51 of Built to Last

“I’m trying something new.” I steal a sip from Ivy’s mimosa. One sip won’t make me go crazy with a sledgehammer, and we’re veering back into uncomfortable territory. “Look, we’ve got two months tops on this project. We don’t work well together when we’re sniping at each other. Let’s see how it goes when we’re both loose and relaxed. He’s already looking peppier than he’s been the whole time he’s been here.”

“I don’t know if it was only the sex that pepped him up,” Anika begins. “I’ve talked to Jeremiah, and he thinks the turning point was meeting you. Says Reid has been more himself since that day than he’s been in years. Since the accident.”

I’m sure there’s more to it. “I think he’s feeling like himself again. The accident was bad.” He showed me the scars the night before. I traced them with my fingers and then kissed my way around them. “His hands still hurt from time to time, but I think his recovery is finally solid.”

Ivy’s head shakes. “No, there’s more to that story. I’ve held off asking some questions.”

I don’t like the sound of that. “You think something’s wrong with the accident?” I glance down the table, but Reid and his brother are still deep in conversation. “I don’t think he would hide something.”

“I don’t think they’re bad guys. I like them. I do have some questions, but I think I’m going to back off because like Reid said, they don’t owe us explanations,” Ivy finishes.

“I think they wanted to avoid a lawsuit,” Ani says quietly. “The palace did do some questioning. They have to run a deep dive on anyone Luca works with. They found Reid didn’t do anything but get distracted while driving at night. He was sober. It was an accident, but it somehow led to everything going wrong for him. I think his injuries are why he ended the show.”

Nothing they’ve told me makes me think I’m wrong. “I can imagine having a life-threatening accident like that could affect you for a long time. He went to therapy. Both physical and emotional.” The more I think about it, the more I admire him for it. “He’s back on his feet, and maybe being with me for a few months will be good for him.”

The way I hope it will be good for me. I might have walked into this restaurant thinking this was all a huge mistake, but his tenderness won me over and I can’t even think that way anymore. Something warm opened inside me, and I have to see where it takes me.

Anika gives me a little smile. “That sounds good.”

I nod. “I’m going to try to not get in my own way. Maybe this is a bright spot in an otherwise dim time of my life.”

“Yeah, I hate that you think that way.” Ivy’s mood seems to shift. She’s way more serious now and has a look that lets me know she doesn’t particularly want to have this chat. “Because it’s not. This should be a great time in your life. You’re young and financially stable. You have a great group of friends. I think we should address what’s dragging you down. It’s not Reid. It’s not this project.”

“It’s your family,” Anika says.

Ivy’s head shakes. “It’s the business.”

I send her a pointed stare because that feels like hypocrisy. “Really? You spend all of your time working.”

“Not so much these days. Heath doesn’t let me. At first it was that he needed to rest on Sundays, and wouldn’t I like to lay around and watch a movie or go for a walk by the food trucks? And then I didn’t work on Sundays anymore. Then he attacked Saturdays. I’m only working a couple of hours on Fridays now. Huh.” She looks up like she’s having a revelation. “He’s kind of lazy.”

Heath is anything but lazy. Heath provides balance to Ivy’s ambition. Ivy is happier now.

“Not the point,” Anika counters. “What Ivy is trying to say is that while we’re all about our jobs, we can’t make our jobs everything.”

Ivy’s head shakes. “Not my point at all. Look, I’ve literally built the whole ship and gone down with it before. When I built up Jensen Medical it was eighty-hour weeks, and I was passionate about it. I sometimes wonder if I would still be at it had my boyfriend at the time not been a dickwad. I did find purpose in that work. And now I find it in building Emma and having this life with Heath. But both of those things serve me. They place value on my quality of life. I’m not saying you shouldn’t sink into your work. That can be a magnificent thing to do when the work is right for your soul.”

“Like rebuilding a country,” Ani says with a sniffle. “I feel the responsibility, but I also feel the love from the people we’re working for.”

“I’m trying to save a company, too,” I point out. I don’t understand what any of this has to do with my soul. It’s business and family and responsibility. I honestly don’t know how they think any of that is supposed to feed my soul. It mostly drags me down, but I know how disappointed everyone will be if I fail.

Ivy nods. “Yes, and how is that serving you? Is the responsibility worth it because of the love you get out of it? Does it fill your soul or suck it dry?”

“You don’t understand. It’s a family thing.” No one does. No one I know was left with a whole family to take care of. Ivy only had to deal with her mom. Anika’s parents split when she was in school. Heath has the greatest grandmother in the history of time. Luca has a country. Okay. I’ll listen to Luca about this because he does understand. But I’m the one with a family’s life hanging over me like the sword of Damocles. A stubborn family who doesn’t understand how badly it can go. They don’t know what it would mean to not have the company to fall back on. I don’t know why, but apparently my cousins’ parents didn’t tell them all kinds of horror stories about what it was like to live without a dime to their names. I can still remember my grandfather telling me how two of his siblings died because they couldn’t afford adequate medical care. He told me it haunted him because he was the oldest and his siblings were his responsibility. Then he told me I was the smartest and had to take care of things now.

Why is that your responsibility?

I try not to listen to the voice in my head. It’s nothing more than selfishness.

“I understand far more than you think,” Ivy says and seems to come to some kind of decision. “But you’re right that I don’t understand the whole family thing. It was just me and mom.”

Damn. I didn’t handle that well. Ivy’s family life was hard in a different way. Diane Jensen only recently got her shit together and with the help of therapy. I sometimes wish my mom would get some therapy.

Reid mentioned it. Therapy. Had he gone in to deal with his awful father and the damage he left him and Jeremiah with?

How much damage did my dad do to me? Is my mom still doing it every time she tells me I’m failing her?

It doesn’t matter because I’m tough and I can handle it. I am handling it. “Ivy, I didn’t mean to say something hurtful. I don’t want you to worry about me.”

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