Page 109 of The Devils They Are

"Fancy finding you here," he grins.

I shake my head. "Sophia and her big mouth."

Tai sits down beside me, nearly landing in my lap as he wiggles into the sand patch to avoid taking a rock in his asshole. "I heard you caused quite the stir. Shame I missed it. Someone needed to put that crazy girl in her place."

"Well, she started it," I mumble. "Did you hear—?"

"That she tried to attack Soph? Yeah. Ry filled me in."

I snort. "So, you're everyone's go-to-guy."

Tai shrugs playfully. "Soph is stuck with me. We did share a womb together for eight whole months. As for Ry, my witty charm keeps him around."

"I think you mean ego."

"Well, if I did have one, you made sure to bruise it."

Smirking, I turn to face him. "Are your balls on the verge of falling off? I did warn you on day one that I'd go after them."

Tai laughs. "And I'm not surprised that you know how to use your mouth. You do talk a lot of shit."

"Is this our version of foreplay? Complimenting each other."

"I hardly think this counts as foreplay. I'm not a masochist, Bexley. I'd prefer my balls stay attached to my body."

"Are you sure my mean streak doesn't turn you on? Not even a little bit?"

He puts his hand on my knee, squeezing it. "Just makes me want to shut you up to be honest."

My body shakes with quiet laughter. "Lucky for you I'm not really in the mood to talk." I turn my head back to the water, mesmerized by the lapping, gentle waves that crest and fall into nothing before retreating back.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Tai nod in response. He mirrors a peaceful expression, at ease with our silence.

I find that I don't mind just sitting here with him. A few weeks ago, it would have been difficult to be relaxed around them. But now, their company doesn't bring the feelings of needing to be vigilant. It's stupid really. Even I can admit to myself that it's not the smart thing to do. I barely know them, and while our dynamic is shifting into unknown territory, I can't help but let my guard down sometimes.

It helps that they do the same—whether or not they realize. Rylan definitely knows. At the academy, he's different. Exactly like he's always been—cool, calculated, watching everyone as if they are prey. But when it's just us, everything is different. We'll never get over our blessed personality traits of needing to fight for control, but we at least have a silent agreement that sometimes it sucks. No one else knows what it feels like to play a role, sacrificing your own needs for the sake of others. I think that's why we are able to pull back our walls and be ourselves for five minutes—allowing ourselves a moment of peace to enjoy what we love, like music.

With Tai, I'm starting to see a similar vibe. His smart-ass attitude and playful demeanor are his true nature—that's not an act. But what I saw as darkness and sinister intentions is nothing more than protectiveness. All the threats, promises of destruction, it was nothing more than someone trying to protect the people he loves. We have that in common.

We may come across as cold sometimes, brutal, even to our own people. But that's the only way Tai and I know how to protect and love. I see it in the way he guards Sophia, without needing to lay a hand. And that same possessiveness crosses the threshold to Rylan and dickhead Lannister. In turn, he plays that part for his people.

I sense him staring and give in, facing him. In the light, his hazel eyes shine a vibrant green, little swirls of caramel captivating me like molten honey.

"I don't know if Soph ever told you, but our mom died too," he says.

I'm not sure what surprises me more—the news or the way he relays it so easily.

"I had no idea," I murmur softly. "I'm sorry."

Tai smiles, gazing back to the water. "It was a long time ago. But I understand what you're going through. It makes you want to implode and rage, but you can't. So, you just ignore it because there's no other option."

My eyes stay locked on him, even as he continues to look at the shoreline. "Does it get better?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah," he breathes out. "Every day it gets a little easier. Some days it all comes rushing back, but then it hurts a little less again. Then one day, you just suddenly accept it, and the sadness becomes different. It's always there but you learn how to live through it."

I rest my head on my knees, pulling my legs further into my chest. "It's exhausting."

"The only way to get through is to remind yourself that nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome."