Thankfully, I haven’t drunk enough to think that would be a good idea. Perhaps I should leave it, he certainly doesn’t look like he needs me.

But I can’t. I’m drawn to him in a way I can’t describe, and I did set out tonight trying to find him. I realise that in some way, I’d hoped he was alone and moping as much as I was, but no, he’s just fine, and that annoys me as well. In the spirit of trying to be more like Nate, I walk over.

As I get near him, he looks straight at me. I see his eyes widen and his nostrils flare before he turns his face away.

“Nate?” I ask when I get close enough, and he looks up at me, his face perfectly neutral.

“How do you know my name?”

His words act like a gut punch, and I falter, but I can’t stop now.

“Nate, it’s me, Ru, from Sydney.”

He shakes his head slightly as if he has no clue.

“Are you some sort of stalker or something?” His voice is scornful. Nausea rises, bile blocking my throat. The one sitting next to him is frowning at him, and the one with brown hair is looking between us in confusion. I hear him mutter, “That’s not the waiter.”

He fucked a waiter, in Sydney? I was right, he is a fucking himbo. Why did I feel like he was different, that he might even like me?

It’s clear he doesn’t.

This was definitely a bad idea.

I stumble backwards and his face contorts. I almost blurt out “sorry to embarrass you,” but I don’t, I just want to get out of here. As I turn I hear Nate’s voice. It sounds weird, higher pitched and strained. “Who did that guy think he was?”

Who indeed? Obviously I’m no one. Nothing more to him than a square on some sort of fucking bingo sex card. Lord, right up there next to a waiter.

What a dick.

He’s worse than a himbo, he’s cruel, and now I just have to deal with the embarrassment that I ever thought otherwise.

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

Nate

I never expectedto feel so attacked by silence in a nightclub.

I didn’t even think it was possible, if I’m honest. But right now, I know that either my heart or bile is going to come up my throat, so instead of thinking any more about what I just did, I swallow hard and square my shoulders.

My friends’ reaction, especially Seth’s disapproving frown, is something I didn’t think through when I inexplicably decided to act like the man I’ve been missing like a limb for five days is a complete stranger.

“That kind of just ruined the night for me,” I continue, with the same high-pitched, hysterical voice.

I don’t think I’ve ever sounded this desperate.

Orfeltthis desperate.

But for what?

“I’m gonna let you guys have fun and get a cab back to the hotel, okay? Okay.” I talk fast and don’t give them a single second to question me the way I see they want to.

I simply turn and walk as fast as I can without running.

My eyes are peeled out for Ru the whole way out of the club, and I even walk a couple of blocks in every direction when I don’t see him on the sidewalk.

I have to explain...

What? Why I’m such a fucking asshole?