Page 12 of Hidden Nature

“You’ll remain on medical leave, Sloan. You need another thirty days. And you’re not to drive until after I see you again. The breathing exercises are important. Continue those. Continue walking. No strenuous exercises, no lifting anything over five pounds. Angie will show you again how to apply clean dressings, and you’ll monitor your chest wound for any signs of redness or swelling. Any sign, Sloan, you contact me.”

Reading her face, he sat back. “Those are the conditions, and I’ll have your word on them.”

“Fine.” Just two weeks, she thought, and not here. Two weeks with family, in her childhood home. How could she complain?

“Now, a strong suggestion. You’re having some nightmares.”

She opened her mouth, but she valued truth. So she shrugged. “It’s not unusual. I looked it up.”

“If you did, then you’d have also read to tell your doctor, which you didn’t. We’ll let that go. It would also have said, no doubt, there are treatments available.”

“I don’t need a shrink.”

His wonderfully patient eyes held hers.

“So says most everyone who could use some therapy. You were shot, and you were clinically dead for over two minutes. You’ve had physical, emotional, and mental trauma. My impression of you is while you’re stubborn enough to resist getting help, you’re smart enough to know when you need it. So think about it.”

“All right, I will think about it. I want to get back to my life. I want to get back to work. I didn’t die, so I want to live.”

“Good attitude. Meet the conditions, consider the suggestion. Go live. I do good work, so don’t screw it up.”

She’d talked herself into believing it all not so bad, when her captain came in and made it worse.

After he left, she sat, brooding, until Joel came in. He took one look, gave her one of sympathy.

“Captain lowered the boom?”

“Not only thirty more days’ medical leave, but another two afterthat of desk duty. Then I have to get cleared by a medical doctor and the department shrink for active. What the fuck, Joel.”

“I’m sorry, sis, sincerely, but I can’t disagree with any of that. Getting out of here’s the next step. You’ve got to take the one after that, then the one after that.”

“I can’t even go back to my own place. How would you feel if you had to go back and live in your childhood bedroom?”

“As long as Sari’s with me, I’d be fine with that. My mama’s a damn fine cook. In fact, she sent you her chicken and dumplings. They’re going to warm it up for you.”

People cared, she reminded herself. They helped.

Brooding, bitching, whining didn’t.

“I appreciate that.”

“Sis, you gotta eat better than you have been. You know that.”

“I do, I swear. It’s… Knowing and doing aren’t always the same. I get hungry, then almost as soon as I start to eat, I’m just not. Maybe if I could move again. I mean really move. I need something else to think about. I need work, and I’m doing crossword puzzles and watching Netflix.”

“Some pretty good shit on there.”

She shoved a hand at her hair, and tried not to remember she’d needed help to wash it.

“I’m tired of myself, Joel, and that’s the truth. Tired of being inside my own head. Tired of not being able to walk ten minutes without feeling like I’ve run a couple miles. Tired of being poked and prodded. I annoy the crap out of myself.”

“Good thing I’m a more tolerant type.” He sat, then pulled a picture out of his pocket. “Want to see my baby girl?”

“What? Jesus, give it!” After snatching the ultrasound photo, she stared, turned it the other way. “Where is she?”

“They had to show me, too, but I got it now.” Leaning over, he traced.

“Okay, one more time.” Then she nodded, grinned, and meant it. “I see her! Wow. And she’s beautiful.”

---