Page 76 of Brother In Arms

“Okay.”

“The guys are pretty much going to call all the ol’ ladies and their families into the club. Unfortunately, as the women and children, we get to do a lot of hurry up and wait while the boys go out and take care of business.”

“And just what is that supposed to mean?” I asked. “What does taking care of business look like?”

“Aggravating as hell, but we don’t get to know what that looks like. It’s for our own safety.”

I shifted uneasily and Hayden sighed, “I’m not doing a very good job of explaining this, am I?”

“Not really, no.”

“Look, you’re tired, you’ve been through a lot; can we table this talk until after you’ve had some food, a shower, and some rest?”

“Sure,” I said. I didn’t want to sound bitchy here, but I honestly wasn’t in the mood for this conversation. I didn’t want to meet new people, I didn’t want to be fawned over; I just wanted to be left alone.

We pulled up into the club’s parking lot and Hayden went to park, I asked her, “Can we just go around back, closer to Rush’s room?”

“Sure, not feelin’ dealing with other people right now?”

“I hope that doesn’t make me a complete bitch.”

“Not at all, honey.” She laughed a little and pulled around onto the asphalt track, taking the long way around so that the passenger side of the car would be closer to the door.

“Thanks,” I said softly.

“No problem, I’ll go find Disney. He’s the keeper of the keys around here. He’ll have the spare to get into Rush’s room. In the meantime, take a hot shower. I’ll scare up some towels while you’re in there.”

“Sounds good,” I said, adding, “thanks.”

“No problem.”

I unfastened my seatbelt and slid from the car into the cooler morning air. It was still pretty warm and promising to get hotter as the day went on, so I was grateful to slip into the cinderblock building and out of the punishing rays of the sun.

I went into the bathroom at this end of the hall and stopped in front of the mirror. There wasn’t anything amiss about my appearance, really. Hair tousled, skin a bit too pale from my ordeal, my summer tan almost floating on top and looking wrong, somehow. I had a bit of a scab just at the edge of my hairline to the left side of my forehead from where the flying safety glass had nicked me. I closed my eyes on the sudden well of fear that opened up and swallowed me whole. Watching that windshield spider web, that hole opening up, the passenger side window disintegrating… God, a few inches to whoever fired that shot’s right and I wouldn’t be here right now.

I leaned heavily on the white porcelain sink basin and finished taking stock of my reflection. White tee hanging on me several sizes too big, spotted with my blood, streaked with black soot. I shuddered, and turned away, not wanting to see anymore. I pulled the offending covering off my body and dropped it into the waste basket, stepping into the nearest shower and turning it on. I waited for it to heat up to a tolerable level and took a deep breath, thrusting my face into the spray.

It felt good, even though the tiny cuts to my scalp and even some to my feet stung like a mother. It felt even better to be washing the nightmare of the past several hours away, though the thought, if only it were really that easy, did come to mind.

The door opened and I looked back over my shoulder and yelped. A tall, skinny, and heavily tattooed biker with long brown hair held up one hand, a set of keys dangling from them and cried, “I’m the gay one! It’s cool, it’s cool. I just came to bring you towels and the key to Rush’s place. You remember which room it is?”

“Yeah, yeah! I do, just get out!” I tried to cover myself with no success and he at least kept his eyes averted.

“Right, sorry, I thought you knew!” he said lamely and bolted. He ducked out the door and I stood there, chest heaving and started to laugh. Once I started I couldn’t stop, until finally the laughter was drowned by my tears. I ended up on my knees under the punishing hot spray and cried until I didn’t have anything left in me to cry out. It was a super shitty way to end my night, I finally decided. Alone, afraid, in tears, on a strange bathroom floor with no home left, no clothes, no car – my keys including the spare having gone up with the house, and just the unanswered question of why didn’t I just sign the fucking paperwork, making slow, lazy circles in my head.

I used the large pump action bottles of body wash, shampoo, and conditioner sitting in the metal bracket bolted to the wall between this shower and the next and cleaned up to the point that if I kept scrubbing, I was going to take skin. Finally, I realized the kind of dirt and grit I was after to wash away wasn’t a physical thing, at least not anymore. So, I gave up and shut off the water. I went out to the bench where the tattooed biker had left everything and found a regular sized bath towel on top of a larger bath sheet towel with a key ring sitting neatly in the middle of it all. I set the key aside and wrapped my hair in the first towel and dried off with the second. Finally, I wrapped the larger bath sheet around me from armpit to knees and sighed. I plucked the keyring off the floor from where it had fallen and went in search of Rush’s room.

It was the second door I tried, and I stepped into it, grateful that it locked but missing Rush keenly. I swallowed hard, and went to the dresser that was carved to match the beautiful bed. I opened up drawers until I found what I was looking for. I don’t think Rush had ever worn the boxer shorts, but that was okay. I kind of liked the easier access without. I pulled them on, then pulled one of his classic white tee shirts on over my head, knocking the towel loose.

I pulled it out of the neckline and off my hair and used it to rub my hair as dry as I could get it, staring at myself in the mirror above the dresser and wishing he were here. Afraid for what he might be doing. I knew they were operating outside the confines of the law now. I understood why, but I had so much to be afraid for… that he would get hurt, that he would go to prison for whatever he did, or the very worst thing of all… that I would never, ever, see him again because he was killed.

I sat heavily on the edge of the bed, and stared sightlessly at my reflection, turning all of this over in my mind. God, the implications were awful, and my state of mind was such that it couldn’t and wouldn’t go anywhere good no matter how hard I tried to make it.

A light rapping fell at the door rousing me a bit. I stood up and went to it, unlocking it and opening it a crack to a small woman with long black hair and deep blue eyes peered up at me through a fringe of bangs.

“Bailey?”

“Uh, yeah…”

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