Page 52 of Between Brothers

“Come on, my little one… get on. Let me take you home,” Blue begged.

I hated what it did to me, when he called me that. I hated how it made my insides turn liquid with relief. I hated how it made me want to believe…

I got on the bike and held onto him, not even caring that neither he nor I wore a helmet. He took me home and I was grateful that it was without incident. He pulled up alongside my studio and I immediately jumped down and went to the door, digging for my keys in my purse. My hands were shaking, my vision blurred by tears and Blue reached out with frozen fingers, plucking the ring from my hands. He unlocked the door for me and I went in, the warm air from my studio puffing out at us. I ripped my purse off from over my head and hung it up and Blue stood by, passive, waiting, but not leaving.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I just want a shower.”

He nodded and said, “I’m not leaving you like this, without knowing what went on. Go get under the water. I’ll find you clothes and clean towels.”

I didn’t argue, his presence always having been a soothing thing… plus, he wasn’t Cell. He was Blue.

I threw what I was wearing down on my bathroom floor and turned on the water, getting under before it fully had the opportunity to heat up. I felt awful, dirty, but certainly not in a good way, and worst of all taken advantage of. I scrubbed and finally overcome, just sat down in the bathtub and cried.

It was like high school all over again and I hated that. I hated that I let myself believe that I could do this, that this was even a good idea. I should have just stuck to my damn self, making my windows and wishing for something more.

I huddled miserably in the bottom of my shower and let the warm water wash only the surface dirt away. I don’t know how long I was there, or how long I’d cried but I was all cried out when Blue came in.

He had towels hung over his shoulder and moved the curtain aside to turn off the tap. He knelt by my tub and wrapped one of the towels around my shoulders, helping me to cover up. The towel was warm, fresh from the dryer out there.

“Hey,” he murmured, and smoothed some of my wet hair out of my face.

“Hey,” I whimpered back miserably.

He gathered me close and held me, rocking me while I went through a fresh spate of tears.

“Come on, my little one. Let’s get you up and get you dressed.”

We stood and he handed me the other towel for my hair. I wound it up and he was gone when I straightened. I made sure the rest of me was dry and he met me at the bathroom door with a sleep set, also warm and fresh from the dryer.

“Thank you.”

“Just get comfortable. We don’t even have to talk right now, but please… don’t send me away.”

I froze and looked up at him. He leaned a shoulder into the door frame and looked down at me, waiting.

“I don’t want you to go anywhere,” I said and it surprised me that I wasn’t surprised. He nodded and turned his back, waiting for me to get dressed. I went to him when I was clothed and wound my arms around his waist, resting my head against his back and murmuring, “You don’t have to do that. I mean, you didn’t do anything and you’ve already seen everything, so…”

“So, nothing. I don’t want you to be unhappy. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. Not around me, not ever.”

I nodded and stepped back enough for him to turn around and hold me back. We stood like that for I don’t know how long, until I shivered a bit, the cold creeping up through my feet where they rested against the frigid polished cement floor.

“Go on up, I’m right behind you,” he whispered into my hair and kissed the top of my head. I turned and he worked at shutting off lights and things down below while I climbed the ladder up into my loft.

He followed me up quickly, just as I’d finished plugging my phone in. He looked at me and motioned for me to get into bed.

I lifted the blankets and climbed in; Blue sitting down on the edge and tucking me in. I felt myself laid low, but closed mouths didn’t get fed and so I asked, “Stay with me?”

He smiled and looked relieved, nodding his head. He pulled off his boots and stood, ditching his pants but leaving his boxers on. He pulled his shirt off over his head and I lifted the covers, scooting over. He lay down on his back and lifted his arm closest to me, inviting me to get close. I cuddled into his side and laid my head on his shoulder.

Silence. Sweet, calming, silence, comfort and grace.

“I hate seeing you hurt,” he murmured and pressed his lips to my forehead.

“I should have seen it coming.”

“Why do you say that?”

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