Page 76 of Between Brothers

Dani looked at me with deep empathy and stood with me.

“Don’t worry, this isn’t the end…” she said and I sniffed hard. I so desperately wanted to believe her, but looking at Blue, the way he was now… I wanted to help him. I didn’t want to give up and I didn’t want to walk away. I wanted to go to him and weather the storm with him but… but the baby…

Two of his brothers, Trigger and Reaver stood in front of him, protecting me from him so I could make a clean run for it and I realized that Blue was dangerous like this. Unpredictable, and scary, like Cell had been sober.

Archer was standing near me and grasped my elbow gently. I looked up at him and he asked with kindness in his eyes, “You want you should say one last goodbye?”

He jerked his head in the direction of Cell’s open casket and I nodded. He let me go and I went to the glossy black box that held my lover’s body, fresh tears falling. I smoothed my hands back and forth over the satin and heard Blue, growing more agitated behind me.

“I love you,” I whispered, and bent, lightly pressing my lips against Cell’s cold and waxy ones. One last goodbye.

“Hayley!” Blue cried.

I let Archer lead me away, to the back door and Blue shouted at my back, “I folded them, but they were his words!”

I swallowed hard and marched out, the sounds of a scuffle breaking out behind me. I needed to wait until he was sober. I needed to wait… I needed to wait but I needed him now. I needed him to put his arms around me and I needed him to hold me, but Blue just wasn’t there right now.

I didn’t know who that was.

“It’ll be okay. Not the first time it’s happened… We’ll keep him here, let him finish out his fuckin’ bender, and when he’s sobered up and himself again, he’ll come a crawlin’. I seen it a thousand times.”

“I don’t know that I can do this…” I said honestly.

“You ain’t gotta do shit except breathe, baby girl. Blue ain’t himself. You ain’t yourself, and no one expects either one of you to be… Not after something like this. I know it hurts like hell, but it’ll get better. Just let the club do what it’s supposed to do. Let it look after y’all until you can look after each other.” I turned to look at who’d spoken and found Dragon standing outside the back door. I hadn’t even known he’d followed us out.

“He’s gonna need you, just as surely as you’re gonna need him, especially with that.” He pointed and I looked down to realize I’d pressed my hands protectively to my stomach again.

Tears tracked down my face and I nodded, looking back up. Archer took a step back and was smiling, a ghost of a thing.

“Well ain’t that some shit?”

I sniffed and shrugged, “Judge me if you want, but I don’t know whose it is…”

“Who cares,” Archer shrugged. “It’s a baby, a life, and that’s precious.”

“Ain’t our place to judge, sweetheart. Arch, you go on and get Ms. Hayley home… you an’ Mel look after her. She’s family now.”

I let Archer lead me away and for the first time since this nightmare began… I felt hope and like I was on solid ground again. Blue’s words echoed in my head for the entire drive back to my house and I went straight for my studio and my loft. I kicked off my heels inside the door and went straight for the ladder, hauling myself up into the loft.

I paused, heart thundering in my chest and reached out for the first folded bit of beautiful hanging from my ceiling and plucked it from its fishing line. With shaking fingers, I carefully picked it apart and when I unfolded it all the way, I turned it over to the blank side of the receipt… except it was just as Blue had said… it wasn’t blank.

“I’m getting to adore the way you walk across this place. I can’t help but watch you, coming or going… I know that’s probably creepy as fuck, but I don’t care. Call us...”

The lines ended in Duracell’s phone number. I stood there trembling, reading the lines over and over again before the slip of paper fell from my fingertips and I reached for the next… desperate to read what he’d said. The words like an echo, almost making me believe he was still here.

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