Page 89 of Between Brothers

“Can I have that?” I asked.

“What?”

“The receipt paper.”

My boss frowned, but his curiosity got the better of him and he passed it down. I stared at it for a long minute before I folded it down into a square and folded the excess back and forth. I folded the square carefully into a tiny paper crane and with a pen from the inside of my cut, wrote ‘no words’ on the discarded scrap of excess.

“Thanks,” I muttered and left the crane and the note beside it on the corner of the table.

I looked over the rest of the guys who were looking at me like I was crazy and I got up, muttering, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

I watched through the diner’s window as Hayley returned and picked up the small folded offering and the discarded scrap of paper. She looked over and I nodded, and the pain unmistakable in her eyes, the longing and wistfulness clear in her expression, she inclined her head gently back.

Chip said something to her and she bowed her head, slipping the bits of paper into her apron pocket and taking the boss’ money.

I rode back to the club, frozen down to my soul despite the warm weather.

When I got there, I went around back and straight to the outbuilding. I found Dani right where she always was, Red-Thirteen in his corner by the door, a book in his hands. He gave me a questioning look and I nodded, and he smiled at me, a sad smile full of understanding.

“Babe,” he called out and Dani looked up and back, over her shoulder. He got up and went out past me giving me some privacy with my best friend but his woman and I couldn’t express how grateful I was for that.

“What is it?” Dani asked and I dropped into the seat Thirteen had vacated.

“I don’t know how to fix this thing with Hayley, but I want to… I want to so bad and it’s killing me inside.”

Dani’s true blue eyes grew sympathetic and she turned to set down what she was working on. She looked over her tools and with a sigh said, “I honestly don’t know how to begin to fix something that big either, Blue… The fact she’s even willing to give you a second chance shows just how much she loves you and that she understands.”

I nodded, “I figured that.”

Dani sighed and said, “I’m almost done with this piece, you want me to help you make something for her?”

I looked up and gave a wan smile, “I don’t think a piece of jewelry will fix anything, but it couldn’t hurt.”

She smiled and asked, “What does she like?”

I thought about it and finally said, “I fold paper into things.”

“Origami?”

“Yeah. Something that I picked up doing in prison. It’s calming to do it, you know? Meditative almost.”

“I can work with that.”

“You can?”

“Yeah. It won’t be super easy, but I have an idea.”

She waved me over and I got up, curious about what she had in mind. I blinked and looked her over and said, “You’re a genius.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she said with a smile. “It’s not going to be easy though. I mean, it’s not pliable, you’re going to have to work at it.”

“No, I get it, and I have to work at a lot of things…” I rolled my lips together. “Dani, she’s pregnant.” Her eyes and smile lit up but one look at my face her enthusiasm cooled. I shook my head and said, “No, I’m happy, believe me I’m happy. I’m just scared. Horribly fucking scared.”

“No, I get that, and Blue that’s totally normal I’d imagine. I mean, why don’t you talk to Dray, and Ghost, and Archer? Dragon even. I imagine they all will have some kind of wisdom about this. They’re all fathers. They’ve all been where you are.”

I nodded and she turned back around, picking up what she was working on, turning it this way and that under her magnifying light. She got absorbed in working on the piece pretty quickly and I just sat and watched her for a time until Thirteen came back. At which point I got up to give him his seat back.

“Come back tomorrow afternoon,” Dani said. “I should have something for you by then.

“Thanks,” I muttered and went back to my room to grab some clean shit so I could take a shower and wash the day, short as it’d been, off.

I felt a little stir crazy, with too much time to think being by myself. I wanted to give Hayley the time she needed and so I showered, went to the weight room in the main club house and worked myself ragged and went back and showered again.

I did all manner of menial tasks just so I would have something to do. Filling up the rest of the day with laundry, cleaning up around my room, fixing a healthy dinner for me and the guys around the club only to finish it with a bottle of Jack and staring at the ceiling of my room. A lit cigarette, one of Cell’s brand, burning down in an ashtray like some kind of morbid incense.

I picked up the key from around my neck, the one that Dani had given me and closed my eyes. Cell had been buried with the matching leather cuff that bore the key plate.

Afternoon dipped into dusk and dusk deepened into night and I just sipped the Jack and stared at the ceiling. Eventually the exhaustion caught up and I passed the fuck out, but the dreams were uneasy.

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