Page 2 of Marlin's Faith

“No, Darlin’. You aren’t going to die,” I’d said, and it fuckin’ killed me that she looked almostdisappointedby that. It was a fleeting look, twisting into a grim resolve, but it was hard to banish that flicker of misery from the deep dark part of my brain. That part where the ghosts of bad memories liked to live.

Faith moaned, more like groaned, into the silvery dark of the room and I snapped out of it, turning from the window and going to her. I knelt beside the bed and using two fingertips, took her pulse the way Nothing had shown me when it was Danny, my little brother, three years gone. It was speeding against my fingers and sort of a bitch to take.

She had on this leather cuff, some kind of bracelet that laced up on the underside. The leather black and broad with an old fashioned key plate set into it. A newer, shinier, thin metal filigree behind it to make the key plate pop. She’d thrown a goddamn fit in her highest, most traumatized state when me and her sister had tried to toss it, and everything else she’d been wearing. The shit was so filthy it needed to be burned; the wristband was in good enough shape though, so we didn’t figure there was any harm in her having it. Was a bitch and a half convincing her to let me take it off just to get her bathed andthat shit?That had busted my heart six ways to Sunday...

That first night had been fucking awful while she’d been in the throes of that poison. I’d had to put the skills that Danny had shown me to use, and fuck if that hadn’t made me feel both guilty and sick. Nothing had helped me out there, too. Being the ex-medic, he knew how to find and tap a vein. I didn’t have the first fucking clue what I was doing other than to cook the shit up. I’d seen my brother do it enough to at least get that part done.

I wrestled myself back to the here and now in time to see Faith’s eyes snap open as she inhaled sharply. There was this brief, shining moment where our eyes connected and something passed between us. Couldn’t tell you what, but it was something. Trust maybe? Though I didn’t know why she would trust me or any of the other boys,any manfor that matter, not after…

“I’m going to be sick…” she gasped, voice tinged with fear and I knew what was next. I shoved the little bedside trashcan into her too thin arms, she doubled over and heaved. Shit. It was bad. It was like throwing up in and of itself scared the bejesus out of her. She jumped and shook and cried as her poor stomach rebelled. The sour smell that came from the can didn’t help me none either. I gritted my teeth and held the can steady for her with one hand, smoothing her hair back with the other, but it was already too late. She’d nailed that too. It’d gone into the trashcan as she’d heaved.

“Easy, Girl,” I murmured as she broke down in sobs.

“I’m sorry!” she warbled brokenly and I shook my head.

“It ain’t your fault. Steady though, gotta get you cleaned up. This ain’t gonna be the last time either. Just you hang on, put your arms around me… that’s it.”

I lifted her easily; she was just so fuckin’ frail, and carried her into the master bathroom. I contemplated shower or bath and settled on shower. The tub would take too damn long to fill. I set her on the counter and she gripped its edge, shaking like a little leaf caught in hurricane force winds.

“I’m going to get the water started, remember what we talked about?” I asked her.

“Some, not all,” she answered truthfully, “But if it’s the naked talk you’re talking about…” she trailed off and wouldn’t look at me.

I sighed, “Yeah, that would be the one.”

She nodded miserably, and my heart went out to her. This was a fuckin’ shame on so many levels. After Cutter had left, we’d had some more candid conversation. I’d told her the time would come where she’d be weak as a newborn kitten. Sick on herself, that I’d have to do this for her and here we were already.

I’d also promised I would keep my fuckin’ clothes on and wouldn’t do anything that made her uncomfortable.

I got the water going and turned back to her, but she already had the tee up and off over her head. I gritted my teeth and she drew those solemn aquamarine eyes up to meet mine. They were just as startling in their brilliance every damn time I saw them. She didn’t look at me direct much but this time, I got the full effect. More so because her pupils weren’t swallowing the color whole. I kept my eyes locked to hers and didn’t dare wander.

“No sense in being shy,” she said miserably, “You’ve seen it all before anyways.”

Her tone held so many things. Anger, bitterness, derision… all of them she’d come by honestly, and none of them bothered me any. She was hurting; she was going to be all over the map. It was how this thing was gonna play out and I couldn’t pay no never mind to it. Getting butthurt over it wasn’t gonna help the situation, or her, so I simply nodded and let it roll off me. I don’t think it was directed at me anyways.

“You steady?” I asked her when she’d slipped off the counter and stood for a moment on her own; still trembling, but a damn sight better than before.

“I think so,” she uttered softly and was back to staring fixedly at something, anything, that wasn’t me.

I helped her the rest of the way out of the sweats we’d bought her and stripped my tee off over my head. I had a wife beater on under it, and she was pretty much out of clothes for the time being. One bit of torture at a time. Clothes could be gotten tomorrow after I put what she had through the wash.

I set the tee aside on the counter, made sure there were enough towels and stepped into the large, glassed in shower with her, shirt, boots, pants, and all. She made a noise that sounded almost like protest and I tipped her chin. Her eyes flashed to mine and I did my best to silently communicate my best intentions. She gasped softly and I turned her under the shower spray.

“You think you’re gonna be able to sleep after this?”

“Truthfully, I don’t know…”

“Fair enough. Might as well do this again then. Didn’t get the best opportunity to actually comb your hair for nits. Think you can hold still and let me try?”

“Nits? What are those?”

“You’ve got head lice, Darlin’,” I reminded her gently.

“Oh god!” she muttered horrified.

“Don’t remember much of last night do you?”

“No… I’m sorry,” she closed her eyes and put her face in her palms and began to cry, “I can’t remember, I don’t…”

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