Page 23 of Marlin's Faith

“Nice to meet you, Faith.” Bobby tipped his red trucker hat at her and turned, walking back the way he’d come after shooting me a look that clearly read he’d be hittin’ me up sooner rather than later. Fine by me, we had to go.

“Ready, Baby Girl?” I asked her. She nodded rapidly, and I shoved the blanket back in my saddle bag while she donned my helmet and safety glasses I’d left on the seat for her.

We rode through a coffee stand and drank it in the parking lot, she barely picked at her pastry I’d bought to go along with it, but she put enough of it down to satisfy me. It was just to hold her until we got back to Ft. Royal.

I drove her over to the office building that the good doctor had her set up in and sat back against the bike, pulling out a cigarette.

“Aren’t you going in with me?” she asked softly.

“Nope.”

She frowned slightly, “Why not?”

“This is all you, Baby Girl. I’m not here to make you do nothin’. You asked me to drive you to your appointment and I’ve done that. The rest is on you. No one but you can make the decision to go in there, to get better. We can help you here and there, but this part of the journey is all yours.” She stared at me, her aquamarine eyes wide and fuckin’ stunning in the bright sunshine.

“You won’t even come into the waiting room?” she asked.

“Nope, this place, this time, it’s all yours. I’ll be right here waiting for you to come out.” I watched her chew her bottom lip in apprehension and smiled. Of course, that must be it. I pulled my keys to the bike out of my pocket and up ended her hand, dropping them in. I curled her fingers around them and said, “I promise, and you can count on that, alright?”

She stared at the keys, at her hand resting in my palm, and I took it away. She looked up at me solemn, but a big chunk of the anxiety that’d been in her face the moment before was gone. She took a deep, deep breath and handed me the keys back.

“I believe you, Marlin,” she said quietly and I smiled.

“Glad to hear it, Baby Girl.” And with one last lingering look over her shoulder she went into the building.

12

Faith…

I’d been quiet when I’d come out of the office, and on the ride back to the house. I’d had a lot to think about. I still had a lot to think about. Dr. Shiendland had been quiet and attentive, had listened and asked questions, and I was surprised to find that it was easy to talk to her. We’d talked about the boy, about his gift of the leather wristband and why I couldn’t stop thinking about him, but I found myself extremely reluctant to talk about Marlin, so I simply hadn’t brought him up.

When we arrived back at the house, Hope and Cutter were waiting on the front steps, my sister was agitated, bouncing in place, Cutter’s hand on her shoulders as if he were the only thing holding her in place, and that very well could be. When we pulled up, I half expected it to fly out of her mouth how sick and tired she was about me being so irresponsible, but instead, she flew forward and wrapped me in a hug so tight, I thought she’d break me.

“Are you okay?” she asked, and all I could manage to do was nod. Cutter winked at me from behind her and I felt a faint answering smile.

“Jesus Christ, Hope. You wanna let her off the bike?” Marlin asked in front of me.

“Don’t even get me started with you!” Hope snapped and I swallowed hard,therewas my sister.Corporal Badass, as Charity and I liked to call her behind her back. Thinking of Charity immediately brought guilt and shame rushing to the surface. I hadn’t spoken to her yet. I hadn’t been ready, but I was out of excuses and I couldn’t hide from her forever.

“I’d like to call Charity now, if it’s alright.”

Hope leaned back abruptly and searched my face, hers full of apprehension. Whatever she saw on my own smoothed it out and I wondered, not for the first time, what kind of horrible my sister thought I was going to do, what she thought I was up to. I kept silent, didn’t try to argue with her, or snap at her. What was the use? Hope was always going to look at me and see the worst parts of me. The only difference was, now, when I looked in the mirror; that was all I saw too.

I felt guilty, keeping Charity away, not speaking to the sister who always and forever only saw the good in me. Dr. Sheindland had asked me a question about that. Then followed up with an open ended, ambiguous one that left me reeling and feeling three inches tall.

Don’t you think your sister needs to hear from you? That she isn’t sitting in agonized wonder?

“Sure, yeah, okay, Bubbles.”

I let my older sister lead me into the house, glancing back over my shoulder at Marlin, still astride his motorcycle. His expression was unreadable, as he looked me over and watched me go. I wondered what it was he was thinking as we moved from his sight, and if he still stared after me as much as I did after him, still looking over my shoulder long after we passed from his sight.

“You okay, Bubbles?” I startled and looked at my sister, and felt my eyes were a little wide. She stopped us and turned me to look at her.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Nothing!”

“You suck at lying to me, Faith. Always have, and always will. You know I’m always two steps ahead of you, so spill.”

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