Page 25 of Marlin's Faith

She’d withdrawn some, after she’d got off the phone with her sister. She’d been quiet all through lunch and even when Cutter had pulled Hope away. She’d gone upstairs, equally silent and when she’d come back down, she was showered and in fresh clothes. I turned from loading up the dishwasher when I heard her soft tread behind me and had to stop and give her a once over.

She had on some short, cut-off denim shorts, which probably cost an arm to buy ‘em in their current condition rather than make ‘em herself out of a pair of jeans ready to give up the ghost. A swimsuit top peeked out over the nude, threadbare boat necked cover up she had on over it all. It hung longer in the back than it did the front and she swam in it, like it was her boyfriend’s sweater back in high school and she’d never given it up.

“You look good, Baby Girl.” I said, softly encouraging.

“Thanks.”

The silence stretched between us and finally she blurted out, “Can I go for a walk? On the beach… I think I’d like that.” She stood there looking so uncertain, like I’d tell her no, and that she had to stay in the house or something. It was probably going to take a while for her to get she wasn’t a prisoner. That one of us didn’t have to be with her at all times. I sighed.

“You don’t need my permission, Darlin’. You want some company? Is that why you’re askin’?”

She turned her upper body, and gazed out towards the water, finally giving in to one side of the war in her head and nodding mutely. I closed up the dishwasher and started it up, grabbing up a dish towel and wiping off my hands.

“Lead the way, Sweetheart.”

We trudged slowly through the powder fine sand in silence, towards the water at a pretty good clip. Once we reached it, she stopped and stared longingly out over it, like it held some kind of escape for her but she was trapped here on land. I knew that feeling, but I’d found, even with the boat and going out on it, there wasn’t no escape out there. The monsters don’t live under your bed; they live inside your head.

I kept silent on the matter; she didn’t need it right now. She hadn’t asked my fucking opinion. I stopped to roll up the cuffs of my jeans and work my way out of my boots, tying my laces together and slinging them over my shoulder with the socks stuffed in ‘em. Faith was up ahead by just a bit, and turned back to look at me, as if to make sure I wasn’t leaving. Her aquamarine eyes were vibrant against the backdrop of white sand and with the sun full on out like it was… damn. It was like she was some kind of angel or something. Beautifully broken, trapped here on earth. She stood silently and held back a hand, waiting for me to catch up.

I smiled and caught up to her, but was careful not to touch, no matter how bad I wanted to.Fuck all if I wanted to, so fuckin’ bad.Still, the girl was like fine art, and so fragile. It was my place to look, but not touch. Not yet, anyhow. Maybe someday, but definitely not today.

So you can imagine my surprise when she stopped abruptly and whirled and I crashed full on into her, my arms snapping up automatically to cradle her, to keep from doing any harm. She looked up at me, her breath catching and I was frozen, rooted to the spot and damn near slain by those bright, mystical eyes of hers, staring so deeply into my own.

“You okay, Baby Girl?” I asked and she blinked, once, slowly the wheels in her head turning at a furious pace. I went very still as she raised herself up onto her toes and leaned into me.

Her lips were silken fire where they brushed my own and I couldn’t help it. My eyes slipped shut, and I held myself, so very, very still, as she leaned further into me, lips pressing minutely against mine.

Supple and soft, her body fitted against my own and I let my hands slide forward, around her back, smoothing down around her waist, tugging her lightly into me, closer, a more intimate embrace. I knew I shouldn’t, I knew she wasn’t ready, I knewIwasn’t ready; but I couldn’t help myself.

I breathed her in, and the mix of her scent, along with the salty tang of ocean water was a heady mix. Her tongue flickered out and touched my bottom lip and I groaned. I wanted her so badly I ached, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let this happen, not right now, not so soon. I lifted my hands and softly cradled her face between them. I pecked her lips in a chaste kiss that tasted too much like goodbye for my liking and she lowered herself, sinking flat footed to the sand.

I opened my eyes and found hers, welling softly; a stricken look on her face. I smiled sadly and sighed out.

“I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have let that happen.” I murmured and she bowed her head, studiously not looking at me, suddenly finding the sand to be the most interesting thing in the world.

“It’s okay, I…”

“No, it’s not, Baby Girl. Sometimes it’s easy to forget what’s happened to you, I can’t do that to you.” I murmured. She flinched as if she’d been doused with cold water and turned; aquamarine eyes distant over the water that matched so beautifully.

She didn’t speak again. We quietly walked side by side and she wouldn’t look at me again, and I felt something like a falling sensation in the center of my chest.

“What was that for, anyways?” I asked a time later. She stared at me through her fractured innocence for a long, hard moment, before turning, her pace becoming brisk as she made her way back to the house we were nearing.

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath, “Way to screw the fucking pooch, Jimmy.” I bowed my head and pulled on the back of my neck to loosen up some of the tension there and wondered how I would fix it before finally deciding there wasn’t anything I could fix. Time. Time was the only cure for what ailed her. Time and a whole lot of patience.

I kept her in my sights until she disappeared into the back slider, and pulled out a cigarette once she’d gone. I smoked, and finished the walk back, dropping my boots on the retaining wall ledge and planting my ass right next to them to finish my cig. I glanced up and saw her in the bedroom window looking down at me, but the second she saw me look up, she disappeared again.

Something wasn’t sitting right with me, but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. I didn’t have time to think about it either, ‘cause my phone was going off in my pocket. I fished it out.

“Aw, Christ,” I muttered before accepting the call.

“Yeah, Johnny, what’s up?”

“I was giving you the heads up; I’m taking the Scarlett Ann out tomorrow. I could use the help on this trip, I know you said three days or so, so if you can’t I can get a temporary hire, I just thought I’d offer it to you first.”

I glanced up to the empty window glass and decided I needed some familiar ground for a minute, and that Faith could probably use a break from me.

“What time?” I asked.

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