Page 46 of Marlin's Faith

“Gonna be honest with you, Baby Girl, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I just know it’s the right place for me to be. I get that you’re hurting, but I don’t know the first thing or way to go about healin’ that hurt if you don’t talk to me.”

“I don’t know what to say!” she wailed and that was the problem, right there in a nutshell. She was so worried about pleasing everyone else she couldn’t do for herself anymore. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and Faith had been trying for a long time, going by what she and Hope had told me about their arguments when she’d been growin’ up.

I sighed and drew her back so that she could see me eye to eye, “Don’t you ever filter yourself to me, Faith. You understand? I’m not going to get pissed because you feel one way or the other about somethin’. There is no right or wrong way tofeeland you won’t find me tossin’ your feelin’s aside. You just gottatalk to me, Baby. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect when it comes to all of these things, but I can promise to try.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you even want to?”

“What, try?”

“Yeah.”

“Better question, why d’you seem to think I shouldn’t?”

She was silent, eyes searching my face, the turmoil in them clear. I waited her out patiently and finally she caved, her expression crumbling and becoming sort of desolate.

“Look at me,” she uttered, “I’m a mess. I can’t hold myself together and after… after everything, what could I even do?”

“How do you mean?”

“Who’s going to hire a whore?” she asked harshly, “And a junkie at that?”

“You ain’t either of those things, Faith.” She looked at me sharply, with an incredulous ‘are you serious!?’look painted across her lovely face. I traced my thumbs gently across her cheeks and smiled.

“The way I see it, just because you were forced to do something, even for as long as you were, it don’t make you that thing. You aren’t a whore, you aren’t a junkie, and you’re only a victim for however long you choose to be.”

She scoffed, and I kissed her, which changed the sound from incredulous to one of surprise. She pressed her hands against my chest and I stopped, just like that, drawing back. She blinked up at me and I asked her, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why’d you stop?”

I looked down at her hands and she dropped her eyes, staring at them for a considerable amount of time. Finally, her hands raised, along with her eyes. She twined them around my neck, burying her fingers into the short ponytail at the back of my head and gently drew me down. I didn’t resist her, and gave her what she wanted, touching my lips softly to hers, less demanding and more giving this time.

She opened under my touch and it was beautiful, her body finally relaxing, her breath sighing out against my lips gently. I let her kiss me, and simply gave her what she was asking for, I didn’t push, I didn’t take more or try to find an angle, I simply took what she was giving and was grateful that she let me in.

The kiss ran its course and we pulled apart gently, the breeze ruffling her hair as the sun began to dip lower. A flash turned our attention out to sea and the band of gray clouds closing in.

“Will we be okay downstairs with the side open like that?” she asked.

“We can watch the storm for a while, sure, but we’re sleepin’ below deck.”

“Oh.”

She stood with me, watching the sun set, and the rain showers move in and it was one of the first times I think we were both at peace, or on the same page, really. Her voice, when it came again was small and quiet.

“I feel safe with you. I have ever since you picked me up, in that house.”

“Yeah?” I asked.

She nodded, “The only time I can remember sleeping without the nightmares creeping in on me was back in the orchard. Remember?” she looked up at me and smiled wryly.

“How could I forget? Feels right having you in my arms.” I gave her a little squeeze.

“I’m really sorry,” she said and I nodded.

“I know, Baby Girl. I can see you are.”

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