Page 67 of Marlin's Faith

“C’mon downstairs and get something to eat.”

“Find the fish?” I asked.

“Right in the icebox, fresh catch?”

“Yeah, Johnny caught it this morning.”

“Sweet.”

Faith remained silent, and let me lead her downstairs, right behind Bobby. We went out back, where he had the grill and a picnic table with chairs around it. Faith asked what she could do to help and Bobby asked her to set places. Satisfied that she could pitch in, she moved wraith like between the kitchen and the outdoors, setting a nice spread. She made a salad without being asked and looked like she was going to have a heart attack until Bobby thanked her, assuring her he wasn’t pissed about it. Jesus, a little over a fuckin’ day in that shithole and it was like she was right back to square one.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” she asked me softly, as she stood to clear plates. I helped her out and Bobby watched us, leaned way back in his seat, beer perched on top of his thigh. He took a pull off it and raised his eyebrows at me.

“Taking you to Dr. Sheindland in the morning for an appointment,” I stopped her, and put the plates in her hands back down atop the table, drawing her in close to me. I was cheating here, and I knew it, asking her in front of Bobby, but Faith was ever polite, and wouldn’t disagree or make a fuss in front of another person. “Think you can do me a favor?”

She looked up at me quizzically, and raised her eyebrows. I smiled, and took it for what it was, an invitation to get on with it.

“Let her prescribe you something,” I pulled her hand from my waist and raised it to my mouth, kissing her palm, “You don’t have to take it, unless you really need it, but let it at least be an option. No one’s gonna force you to take something you don’t want to.”

She looked away from me and away from Bobby, aquamarine eyes distant as she stared sightless in the direction of the groves. She didn’t look at all happy, so it surprised me when she reluctantly nodded.

“I don’t think I can do it on my own anymore without help, I just don’t want to be addicted to anything ever again,” she sniffed and I nodded, pulling her in and holding her close.

Bobby got up, and went inside silently, after we traded looks over the top of Faith’s head. He took the plates along with him, and a second later you could hear the water running in the kitchen. I sighed out and held Faith tight who was going through this internal struggle the likes neither Bobby, nor I, could even begin to fathom. This trip back to NOLA had scrambled her system hard, set her back something fierce, and I don’t think she could even put a finger on exactly why that was.

We ended the evening on the porch, Bobby and me with beers in hand, Faith with a tall glass of sweet iced tea. I brought my guitar out and wondered idly where she’d put her iPod. I hadn’t seen it for a couple of days. I played idly for a while, nothing in particular, keeping to music on the soothing end of the spectrum while we relaxed and watched the stars come out. Faith and I traded a knowing look, and with a smile, I obliged her and playedHope Never Diesfor her again. She closed her eyes, and some of the tension and stress eased out of her.

Tomorrow I would take her up to her Doctor, and see if the grand old dame would call in a script for her so I could pick it up while she was in her session. I’d go pick that up, and the other supplies I would need to see if I could make life a little better for my girl for a minute. It’d been way easier than I expected to get Faith to agree to take something, which meant that she was in rough shape on the inside. I had to hand it to her; she was pretty much the mistress of hiding it. Of course, she’d had to be and she’d had long practice.

Some wise old Chinese fucker had once said, ‘The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step.’ He wasn’t wrong, it was just, with times like these, and all the seeming stumbling blocks in place, these first steps were all up hill. Here was to hoping the universe would see fit to mellow the fuck out where Faith was concerned and let her remember what it was to breathe again. Fuck knows, I would do whateverIcould to see that happen.

36

Faith…

My session with Dr. Sheindland had gone well that morning, and when I’d come out, Marlin had been waiting for me, and had pretty much whisked me right back to Bobby’s orange grove. It was hot, so I’d changed back into my dress and at Marlin’s urging had brought out my iPod to listen to while I took a walk.

He had opted to stay behind and help Bobby with a more permanent fix to the air conditioning unit attached to the house. I listened to Ashes & Embers and strolled forhours. I had taken one of the antidepressants and one of the antianxiety pills that Dr. Sheindland had prescribed for me when we’d gotten back to the house. She was right, I didn’thaveto take them forever, and there really was nothing worse than heroin when it came to kicking a drug habit and I had already done that well enough. I’d already been through the worst anyone could go through, and I felt stronger, validated somehow when she’d said that if I could survive what I had already been through, then I could, quite literally, surviveanything.

I felt a little less awkward, more put together, and it helped that I heard from my sister. Marlin had insisted I carry my cell phone with me when I walked, as much for safety as to get used to owning one, and when it rang, I had answered it to a collect call from the Jefferson Parrish Jail.

“Hope?”

“Hey Bubbles, sorry it took me so long to call.”

“Never mind that, are you okay?”

“Yeah, the food sucks, these bitches…” my sister paused, “Both in uniform and jumpsuits ain’t got nothin’ on me and my court date is in a week and a half. The lawyer the boys sprang for is worth the money, believe me. I would have had to wait here a couple of months otherwise. How are you doing?”

We talked, I told her I saw the doctor that morning and that I was taking some medicine and she, surprisingly, made approving noises over that. She told me to call Charity in the next couple of days, and said that our youngest sister had opted to stay behind at school to get a jump on her studies through spring break, to get herself graduated that much sooner so she could come down here to be with us.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I asked.

“By the time she gets down there, I’ll be back and so will the rest of the guys. There won’t be anything to worry about, Bubs, trust me. Char is in a work study program, if we had her come down now, it’d screw that up, but sis, you need to call her more. It’s freaking her out and tearing her up that you don’t talk to her when you guys used to be so close.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Hey, no, this isn’t me tellin’ you off or getting mad, Faith, believe me, I really do get it.”

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