Page 75 of Marlin's Faith

Johnny teared up at that and nodded. My brother, though he could be a fuckin’ idiot, and sometimes lost his brain to mouth filter… at his heart, he was a good man. He lived for his fuckin’ kids and would do anything for them. I was struck, suddenly, by a crazy idea.

“Faith might be willin’ to watch ‘em while we work.”

“I don’t know about that,” Johnny started in dubiously.

“Listen, she would have Hope around to help her out for the most part, as soon as Hope gets –“ I stopped myself before I said ‘outta jail’ and went with “back into town.”

“Whatever Man, I can’t think about this right now, and we can’t keep these guys waiting.”

“No, you’re right, let’s cast off and do some fishin’.”

We did just that, Bobby poking his head into the wheelhouse long enough to tell me, “Guess what, fucker? Your ‘cabana boy’ is raiding your wine selection for these old broads. They’re nice, and your fuckery earned them the VIP experience.”

I laughed, “Go right ahead. How’s Faith doing?”

“Other than the fact that we heard your entire fuckin’ convo with Johnny, and she looks like she’s completely moon struck in love and misty eyed over you? Meh, she’s alright. She’s navigating a minefield of questions outta Arlene and Janice though, so I ought to get back down to her.”

I grimaced, hard, and got us out to sea. As soon as I could viably have Johnny take the wheel, I had him do it. I went down to the foredeck after handing out a couple of cold beers to Dave and John and found Faith softly and politely answering questions to both Arlene and Janice who wore empathetic and horrified expressions. Faith caught sight of me and I mouthed, ‘I’m so sorry’at her. She smiled, the most beautiful and forgiving smile, in my direction and mouthed back ‘it’s okay; I love you.’

I wasn’t sure I could fall any more deeply in love with Faith Dobbins, but I did, right then and there.

40

Faith…

I didn’t mean to make either Janice or Arlene cry, but I suppose it was hard not to when it came to a story like mine, even as unbelievable as it might be. They made such sad and empathetic noises that I very nearly teared up a time or two, but I would not give in to self-pity; not on such a beautiful day.

It helped when Bobby showed up with a bottle of chilled white wine in a bucket. He set down a glass of ice water with a wedge of orange rather than lemon and I smiled at him. He poured two generous glasses out of the bottle for the women, and took himself into the wind and spray at the front of the boat. He was still within earshot, but respectfully pretended not to be.

The day went quickly; it was nice to move from the heavier topic of my captivity to the stories of children and new grandchildren that Janice and Arlene had to share. The women were in their sixties, they and their husbands newly retired, having turned their husband’s family business over to their sons and daughters. Arlene and Janice had both worked alongside their husbands at the stonecutting business. Arlene handling the company finances while Janice handled customer relations and the sales floor.

They both agreed that they’d led charmed lives, marrying their high school sweethearts, and living the American dream. They were honestly almost as idyllic as American apple pie. A life that I now longed for. Quiet, simple, beautiful. Before I hadn’t had any hopes or dreams, now I found myself dreaming of a life surrounded by family, even if I couldn’t have children. Marlin and The Kraken MC he belonged to had shown me over the intervening months since my rescue that family came in all sorts of ways and didn’t always have to include children. That still didn’t stop me from a brief sense of loss and mourning that I would never have a child of my own.

I’d never wanted to be a mother before, but now that the choice had been stripped away, I couldn’t really argue the philosophy of you always wanted most what you couldn’t have. Of course, just because my uterus was scarred and wouldn’t allow me to carry a child, and just because, even if I did manage to conceive, my cervix was ruined and wouldn’t allow me to carry that child to term, didn’t mean my biological clock stopped ticking. It was a weight and sadness I would likely forever carry, but one that, for today, was bearable.

Cheering from the back of the boat snapped me out of my reverie, and the three of us stopped chatting, exchanged a look, and began to laugh. Bobby had even perked up and was looking over the side down the boat.

“You don’thaveto stay with us!” Janice exclaimed.

Bobby looked to me, as if to make sure it was alright and I laughed lightly and nodded. It was all he needed, before he made strides along the side of the boat and was out of sight around the high structure in the middle. I didn’t really know what you called it.

The rest of the day passed quickly with the good company, the sunlight, and the wind kissed freedom of being on the water. I could see why Marlin loved it so much as to live aboard his boat full time. I could also understand why he rode his Harley like he did. When you were stuck on land, riding was a pretty close second to the freedom that the open water provided.

Marlin made an appearance or two back here throughout the day to check on us himself, at one point he drew me carefully aside and apologized profusely for having been overheard, but he was already too late; I’d forgiven him. I couldn’t hold this much love in my heart for this man who had saved me, seen me at my worst, had continued to put up with me at my worst and who was still here, despite my having lied to him and despite every attempt I’d made at pushing him away. He was my rock in the tempest, and though right now, things were calm, I knew that the bad days were far from over, just as surely as I knew that when they came, he would be there, providing shelter in his arms.

I was so blessed in that, I couldn’t even.

When we arrived back at the Marina, it was quite a bit of work for the men. Dave and John had caught quite the fish, and apparently, it was one they could legally keep. Their wives looked on with smiles, photos were taken and the fish, a beautiful green that faded to yellow and silver, well it was almost as tall as I was.

I was relaxing on the back of the boat while Johnny, Marlin, and Bobby set about with the long task of cleanup when Johnny took a seat beside me and gave me a soulful look that reminded me of a basset hound’s, all sad puppy dog eyes. I tried not to giggle but it did draw a smile out of me. I could tell that Johnny could be quite the charmer when he wanted to be.

“I owe you an apology,” he said shortly and I started to shake my head. “No, really, I do, and I’m sorry for the way I acted when you got here. I wasn’t around for all the bad stuff and I’ve been a self-absorbed assclown, and I’m not just saying this because my brother’s going to beat my ass if I don’t.”

I laughed nervously, I didn’t want to believe Marlin would, but I couldn’t help but think about his scraped and bleeding cheek, or the bruised and cut knuckles he’d had weeks before. A business meeting, he’d called it, and I hadn’t pressed, even after he’d assured me that it was just a tiff between him and his brother. I wondered to myself now, just how often those ‘tiffs’ happened.

“It’s alright,” I said softly, “I would much prefer no one had their ass beaten on my account.”

Johnny smiled, and I took a deep breath and held out my arms for a hug. I don’t know, it just seemed like the thing to do. He hugged me, quickly and let me go.

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