Page 38 of Cutter's Hope

Cutter dragged me out into the muggy heat of the Louisiana morning and turned me loose. I stumbled and rounded and threw a wild punch out of pure fucking anger and adrenaline which he easily evaded which just seemed to piss me off more, so the punch turned into a backwards elbow strike which he blocked followed by another hold, this one better than the last but much more primitive. He wrapped his arms around me from behind, pinning my arms to my sides and I just doubled over and screamed my fury and injustice into the bright, sunny, and overly cheerful morning air. Birds fell silent, Ruth and his boys who had been laughing at the spectacle I’d been making, had the smiles wiped right off their faces.

I sagged in Cutter’s grip and he lowered me gently to my knees, to the cement as I sucked in enough air to let out another outraged scream.

“Jesus Christ her sister fucking die or something!?” one of Ruth’s men, the skinnier one, demanded taking a drag off his cigarette.

“Shut the fuck up Hex,” Ruth ordered, a sympathetic look flickering across his face before it was swallowed by his stoicism.

“Shh, it’s okay Baby, I got you,” Cutter’s voice was warm against my ear as he pulled me tight, back into his body and rocked me.

“Not again, I was so close! So close! I can’t do this anymore!” I whined and okay, after two years and the week I’d just had, I sort of snapped in two and was having a fucking melt down. But after eighteen years of being sister-mom and fucking up so badly, I figured hey, I’d earned this, I would pull myself up by the boot straps after it, put on my fucking big girl panties and go find my fucking sister.

At least that was what Cutter murmured in my ear, and damned if he wasn’t right. I listened to him, to what he was saying, taking his orders and grabbing onto them with both hands. I let Cutter become my anchor, holding me firmly on the ground when all I wanted to do was explode into the ether and just give up.

“Good, good, deep easy breaths, Darlin’. I need you to hold it together, I need you to think; what’s more, Faith needs those things from you.” I nodded numbly and sniffed. Cutter turned me to face him and when he was sure I wasn’t going to hit him or do anything else dangerous he smoothed my tears away with his thumbs and kissed my forehead. My eyes drifted shut at the reverent touch I was sure I didn’t deserve.

The front door to the police station grated and Lightning and Radar came out. Lightning carried my helmet in one hand and neither one of them looked happy. Two deputies came out with them and stopped a ways up the walk, letting Lightning and Radar finish the trip towards us physically unescorted.

“Come on Hope, we gotta get moving before they arrest you,” Lightning grated and handed down my helmet.

“They give you anything?” Cutter asked helping me to my feet.

“Not a damn thing,” Radar said and spit on the ground.

“Let’s get a move on, Darlin’, before Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum get any ideas about that luscious ass of yours,” Ruth said and puffed on his cigar. Grinning around it, he shot the two deputies a one fingered salute.

“Might have gotten some answers if she didn’t throw such a damn tantrum! Also might’ve got some if she kept better company,” the deputy on the right commented. He was tall with a deep brown mustache and curly brown hair. I cocked my head to the side and hoped and prayed that this office would contact me for work. That way I could tell their superiors to fuck right off and why.

Instead of popping off again I thrust my helmet on my head, Cutter escorting me to my bike. I climbed on, starting her up.

“You good to ride?” he asked me and I jerked my head in a nod. I wasn’t really, but I had to be.

“C’mon y’all. You need some food and rest before you do anything else,” Ruth said but he was looking at me. I couldn’t say I disagreed.

We rode back to his compound and the further we got from the Sherriff’s department, the worse I felt for my outburst. God I was just failing Faith and fucking up left and right. It was only a matter of time before I failed Char too… hell, I was already failing Char too if we were keeping serious score. I’d lost her big sister, and let her slip through my fingers yet again.

I beat myself up the whole way back to the Voodoo Bastards compound but at the same time, I was also already devising a way around the fucktards at the Plaquemine’s Parish Sherriff’s office. I shut off my bike and put down the kickstand startled to realize I didn’t really remember the ride back here. I’d been lost in thought the whole way and just sort of on auto pilot. Fucking dangerous. I sat astride my bike staring at the tank and the still and silent gauges while Cutter pulled off my helmet.

“Shit, Babe. I hate seein’ you like this,” he said, tone heavy with something akin to regret.

“I’m going to find her,” I said, “And I’m going to kill whoever has her. Do you understand what I’m saying?” I asked and my voice sounded bitter, hollow and scary, a foreign facsimile of what my voice should be. The woman speaking right now was dispassionate and full of discord.

“Come on Hope, come with me; come sleep with me. We’ll deal with all of this after we’ve had a few hours,” Cutter tugged on my hands and I was puppet to his master and glided to my feet as if pulled by invisible strings. He led me from behind, his hands on my shoulders as he urged me into the cooler twilight of the Voodoo Bastard’s club.

It looked like any ol’ bar with couches and the like here and there. Gaming tables for blackjack and poker, a pool table, hell I think there was even a roulette wheel… It was all sort of a blur. Cutter led me to a row of cots where some of his men were already wracked out. He sat me on the edge of one and I collapsed, staring at his handsome face as he set to work pulling off my boots.

I looked on, almost detached as he worked first one then the other off my feet. He put his hands on my knees and captured my eyes with his, sighing out. I leaned forward and kissed him. I had no words right now to express how grateful I was that he was here with me, helping me, and so I kissed him. A gentle press of lips full of reverence and just everything I had in me that I couldn’t say right then. Partially because there were eyes on us in the form of some of the Voodoo Bastards, and partially because I was a little scared of what I was feeling. It was just too soon and so big and I didn’t know what to do with it.

“Hmm,” Cutter made the sound and flashed me a brief smile, while he unzipped my jacket and peeled it off of me, carefully stripping me of enough to be comfortable but not so much I should be worried. Not that I really was. The guys wouldn’t have much left to beat once I got done with any would-be attackers myself.

I glanced over and caught some of the Kraken watching me and their president, brows furrowed with concern as Radar and Lightning spoke with their brothers in low careful tones. Some of those looks shifted from concern, to sympathy, to anger, on my behalf and I appreciated them for it.

Cutter’s hands smoothed beneath my white baby doll tee along my ribs curving around my back. He rested his chin on my chest and looked up into my eyes as he popped the clasp on my bra, dragging his hands back across my skin until I shuddered. He peeled the offending straps down one arm before pulling the entire contraption out the other sleeve. I smiled at him and he smiled down at me, swinging my legs up and drawing the blanket up over me. I was down to my tee and panties and I didn’t even remember him pulling my riding pants off. Damn.

He didn’t waste any time stripping down to bare feet and just his jeans. He shoved his cot right up against mine and lay down on his side facing me. We clasped hands between us and he pressed a reverent kiss to my swelling knuckles. I blinked. What had I punched? Oh! Right. The glass.

A bag of ice settled onto my hand and I startled, Ruth smiled down at me from over my shoulder. I blinked.

“Sleep, Darlin’. This whole mess will be here to sort out in a few hours,” he wandered away and it was just me and Cutter despite how surrounded we were by the men of both MC’s.

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