Page 82 of Cutter's Hope

“Iblame me.I do,okay?”

“Shhh,” he held me as my bitterness poured out and it was just what I needed to do. To purge, to get it out and take some deep cleansing breaths and to try to find my center again. I was horribly off kilter and bound to self-destruct if I didn’t, and all grown up or not, my sisters still needed me to be the strong one.

Cutter kissed my forehead, his lips warm and soft and my eyes drifted shut unbidden. It had been a cathartic cry, and I felt steady despite the gentle rocking of the boat, as he held me close and let me borrow his strength.

“I can’t do anything for her and itkillsme, but she can’t know I’m crying about it like a little bitch either. I don’t fall apart in front of them, I never fall apart in front of them,” he hushed me, hand cradling my head, thumb against my lips and I stilled.

“You do what you gotta do, Sweetheart, but when you’re with me, you do you. I got you. You ain’t gotta hide from me, or pretend that it’s okay when it’s just you and me because it’s not. I get that, and there’s no judgment here. We make a good team, good partners and I like that, Babe. I like it and I want to keep it, and I want you to find some happy and if that means you gotta be unhappy then we’ll do that. You get me? I’m not going anywhere and I damn sure don’t think less of you. I’m amazed you’ve held it together this long.”

He soothed me, with gentle touches and his deep rich voice, like no one ever had before, or could. I found strength in him, I found calm when I needed it and fuel for my ire when I needed it instead. I cuddled into him and let him soothe some of my misery away and as we drifted, tethered only by the boat’s anchor, I stared across the strong planes and angles of his chest, over the water at the lightening sky behind the houses and sighed.

“Promise me you won’t give up on me,” I said suddenly, well aware of what a squirrely mess I was right now, unaware of how long it might last.

Cutter chuckled, “You’re stuck with me as long as you can tolerate me.”

A long, feminine wail drifted out to us from below decks and the both of us laughed, stifling our giggles behind our hands, snorting and just generally trying to keep ourselves from being heard.

“I wondered what woke me up,” I said dryly.

“They been at it more ‘n an hour,” he chuckled.

“Sounds like us,” I said softly.

“Hmm, yeah, you know what? It sounds like a good idea,” he drew my leg higher on his body and turned, a few awkward thrusts of his hips and he found me, sinking in slowly, working himself back and forth until just by virtue of starting in on me, I became wet enough to ease his way.

“Not going anywhere, Sweetheart. I promise, you’d have to fight me to make me let you go anyhow.”

“We all know how that turned out last time,” I whispered.

“Damn right… god you feel so fuckin’tight.”

I kissed him, the angle we had was awkward but working, and I let him make love to me as the sun rose slowly in the sky. It was beautiful.

40

Cutter…

“What is the big, god damn, emergency?” I demanded. Hope had beenpissedwhen I told her to relax and chill back at the Mysteria Avenge and had vaulted the side and swam for shore, dry clothes sealed in Ziploc bags along with my other essentials, trailing in a dive bag.

Reaver didn’t help, laughing his head off at the expression on her face as I’d gone over the side. She couldn’t follow with the cast on her arm.

“I’m kicking you in the balls when you get back!” she’s shouted at me. Only got pissed off even more when I’d shouted back that no she wouldn’t, she’d need them that night. Hayden had given her a sympathetic look and Reaver had fallen on his ass he was laughing so hard. I hoped like hell that my girl didn’t kickhimin the balls. I’d come back to find a hole in her.

I hadn’t had time to worry about it. I was making way to The Plank to answer my secretary’s nine-one-one text to get my ass to shore. Now I was glowering at my whole assembled crew minus my VP and I had a sinking feeling…

“Easy, Captain.” Pyro said affably and it was the fact my best friend and first mate aboard our salvage boat was at ease that put my raised hackles down.

“We wanted to talk to you,” Atlas said.

“Yeah, we put it to a vote,” Nothing said grimly, but that was Nothing for you, he was always a grim bastard.

“You vote me out as your Pres.?” I asked, half expecting the worse. My girls gloom and doom was wearing off on me a little I guessed. The boys all busted up laughing.

“Fuck no! We took Marlin’s vote by proxy, man.” Atlas said, wiping tears out of his eyes.

“What the fuck is this about!?” I demanded. I was as lost as a whore on her way to church.

“Have a seat, Cap,” Lightning suggested. I went to my electric chair and dropped into it.

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