Page 46 of Moonshine Lullabies

“No, no, hey,” he said as I slipped to my knees right there on the floor, my legs not able to hold me up anymore. He got down on the floor with me and pulled me into his arms and held me tighter ‘n tight. All I could do was cling to him back and focus on breathin’ so I didn’t lose the fragile hold that I had left on my sanity.

“That was too close,” I said with cold dread in my heart.

“Yes, it was,” he said, putting a hand to the side of my face and making me look at him. I tried to let my eyes stray back to the television but his other hand joined the first and my eyes were drawn back to his.

“It was close, but you’re here. I’ve got you.”

“You’d’ve taken a bullet for me,” I said and my voice trembled.

“I would’ve taken ‘em all,” he said solemnly and I could see he meant it. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath, held it, and let it out slow.

“You promise me y’all put a stop to this,” I said. “I don’t care if you have to kill every last one of ‘em.”

“I’ll swear that to you an’ more,” he declared.

I swallowed hard and said, “An’ you promise me, if there’s anything, anything at all that I can do to help – you’ll tag me in.”

His mouth crushed down into hard lines and he shook his head.

“Collier…” I know my voice held threat and warning but he simply shook his head harder.

“I need to know you an’ Tate are good at all times if I’m gonna get through this,” he said, and I cocked my head as he took his hands from my face.

“I know it’s only been so very short a time, baby – but you an’ that boy are my peace, and I need you both safe.”

I swallowed hard and made a snap decision.

“I know this ain’t the right time but I need you to listen, and I need you to know somethin’. Somethin’ about me, an’ about Tate…”

He went very still and swallowed hard.

“I knew you had a secret,” he said.

“Only like the biggest secret ever,” I told him. “And you have toswear to me, you’ll never tell.”

He stroked a thumb across my cheek, swiping it back and forth, and dipped his chin in something not quite a nod but very well like it.

“If something happens to me, you can’t let Tate know, but you have to protect him.”

“Protect him from what?” he asked.

I swallowed hard. “His real daddy. I don’t want him to have nothin’ to do with that man.”

CHAPTEREIGHTEEN

Collier…

She wasn’t making sense, but I could see it in her eyes, in the set of her jaw and just how tense she was, that whatever she meant by that – it was big. A pit opened up in the bottom of my gut and yawned, waiting for whatever awful truth that was gonna come spillin’ off her lips like pure poison.

“When I was fourteen, and Tate was born, I was too scared to say nothin’ and so I just went right along with what everyone thought,” she said, her voice trembling. She jumped when Cy made a noise over in his room as he gathered up some of his shit.

I glanced at the doorway and contemplated getting up and closing it, but the way she gripped my forearms made me stay put.

“What did everyone think?” I asked her quietly, my voice pitched low.

“That my little boyfriend at the time was Tate’s daddy.”

“The one that ain’t seen him since he was three?” I asked. “He’s not?”

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