Page 86 of Moonshine Lullabies

I tilted my head back and stared at the ceiling a moment, my vision blurring with my own rage and pain at just the sheerwoundednessof her condition before I closed my eyes and tilted my head forward to press my lips to her hair, redoubling my efforts to be strong in the face of her heartache and just give her a safe place to justbe.

I think she needed that more than she needed anything else right now, and if I could do nothing else right now, then dammit, let it be this.

CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE

Jessie-Lou…

The shower was scalding, I turned it down just a bit to get used to it and cranked it back up, like boiling a frog. I stood under it, thrusting my face beneath the spray, and holding my breath. Turning around and tipping my head back to soak my hair.

I opened my eyes when the shower curtain hooks rasped and rattled against the rod and Col stepped in. He stuck his hand behind me and other than the barest flinching around his eyes, there wasn’t anything to tell his discomfort. Still, I asked, “Too hot?”

He forced an obvious smile and said, “Nope.”

I couldn’t help but smile back. Genuinely, though, I knew it was weighted with my sadness.

He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me and we stood for a little while, the spray hitting my back and simply kissed.

When the kiss broke, naturally just reaching its conclusion, I stepped into him and wrapped my arms loosely around his waist and he pressed me to his chest, kissing my forehead.

The hot water had done some of the work in easing the tension out of my muscles, but that kiss to my forehead? It seemed to do the rest. It was like a signal flare lit off in the dark, guiding me home and his arms going around me? Pure unadulteratedsafety.

I felt safe to my bones, to the bottom of my soul, and I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop it if I wanted to. All those emotions that’d I’d kept locked away and bottled up rose like a leviathan too long ignored from the deep; and I meanimpossiblydeep, and I wept.

I think I wept like I had never wept before in my whole life, and Collier was the rock that I hid against and behind from the worst of it.

He held me, and rubbed my back, massaging the back of my head while I let it out and he was the first person in a very long time if ever that I felt alright crying in front of.

When the tempest had passed, which felt like an eternity but was probably only a few minutes, he took a half step back and brought my face up to look at him with gentle hands that smoothed my wet, clinging hair off my tear-soaked cheeks.

“Better?” he asked.

I nodded, not trusting my voice to speak, and he smiled at me so sweetly.

He took up the shampoo and washed my hair, kneading my scalp and down my neck with gentle fingers, turning me around, front to the spray to work on my super-heated muscles of my shoulders and traps, and after a long weekend of carving? Good Lord did that feel divine.

He painstakingly washed me clean and when I tried to return the favor said, “Nope. Any other time, but not tonight. You need someone to do something foryou.”

He washed up at lightning speed and when he shut off the tap, he said, “Wait right here.”

I waited while he got out first and dried off, wrapping a towel around his waist, and tucking it. He opened up another one and held it open for me and I quickly stepped into it.

He dried me off, at points making me giggle, and it was a losing battle with how my hair dripped.

“Here,” I said and took the towel from him, bending forward and wrapping it up.

“Ah, there you go,” he said and pulled another towel off the rack and dried me off the rest of the way, wrapping me up under the arms and tucking it.

He gathered up the hair dryer from under the sink and asked, “You wanna sit or stand?”

“I can stand,” I said, and he stood me in front of the mirror.

He warned me, “I’ve never done this before – so bear with me.”

“I can do it,” I said and reached for the hair dryer but he made chastising sounds to the contrary and lifted it high out of my reach.

I laughed at our reflections and put my hands down, clutching the towel so I wouldn’t lose it as he took the towel from my head and let it drop to the floor and he started up the dryer.

He worked through my thick mane, carefully combing through it with my wide-toothed comb for tangles as he hit it with the warm air of the dryer and I just stood and soaked up the love.

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