Page 95 of Moonshine Lullabies

“Yeah,” I said, nodding.

“I’m thinkin’ pizza tonight,” J.P. said.

I nodded then shook my head and said, “Just what is wrong with these fuckingpeople?”I demanded.

“They ain’t got no fuckin’ home trainin’, clearly,” Collier said.

“I mean, ain’t none of usstartthis!” I sputtered. “We just stand our fuckin’ ground.”

“Hush.” J.P. looked around and I nodded miserably.

“Let’s go on home, order some dinner, and get you right,” Col consoled me.

“Alright,” I agreed.

So that’s what we did.

We went home, J.P. ordered some pizza for pickup, and I made sure Tate was cleaned up and resting comfortably on the couch before I did anything else.

“Come on out here a minute, babe,” Collier called from the back door just as soon as J.P. came back in from calling in our pizza order from out front.

“Okay, but you come get me before you leave to go anywhere,” I said to my brother.

“I will,” he said.

“What?” I asked when Col shut the back door behind us.

He held up a joint and stuck it between his lips.

Ah.

“You need to relax,” he said around it as he brought his lighter up to light it.

I nodded. I wasn’t about to argue that fact.

I took it from him and inhaled the green tasting smoke and held it. I looked at the joint and nodded my respect at the roll job.

He said around his pent-up breath, “Hell, I ain’t think I seen you take a hit since Fourth of July weekend.” I nodded and he let out a plume of fragrant earthy smoke.

We’d gotten high in our room as the fireworks went off. He didn’t like them. I just didn’t like the holiday. It was the weekend that Tate’d been conceived.

I’d turned fourteen in August, and he’d been born the following April… barely. He’d been a couple of weeks early and had just squeaked by being a March baby. I was just glad he hadn’t been born on April first. That would have been a cosmic joke of some kind. I was glad the universe had spared me.

We’d talked about it that night, both of us sharing private pains and details that we held bottled up. Me about that night, and him about some of his time overseas.

I think it’d helped and brought us closer.

We stood in the back and listened to the swamp together and got around halfway through the joint together when J.P. popped out the back door.

“Ah,” my brother said. “I gotta go get y’all’s munchies.”

I giggled at that and Collier smiled at me. He said he loved how I got the giggles when I got high.

“Ok,” I said, and I went back in.

“Y’all back there smokin’ the weed?” Tate called as I hung up my jacket.

“What’s it to you?” I called back.

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