I slipped between the crisp cotton sheets and eased myself onto my side, hugging a pillow half to my chest and laying my head down. I closed my eyes against the slight green glow cast from the little light on the camera in the corner and let my breath out slowly, drawing in a fresh one lightly spiced with Hangman’s lingering scent to replace it as I closed my eyes.
I didn’t expect sleep to come quickly, if at all, but I must have been more tired than I thought. That or the Sandman was in the neighborhood.
“Lore! C’mon!”
I twitched, the voice a familiar one. One I recognized but couldn’t place right away. I looked up from my broken heel and sighed, standing, and making my way at a ridiculous limp up the sidewalk.
“I broke my heel!”I complained, as my friend tossed her stiff, long blonde mane of hair over her shoulder.
“Oh, my God!”she stuffed her hand against her lips full of filler and stalked back toward me in her own high, gladiator heels that sparkled in the lamplight. She wore a tan bodycon dress that fit like a second skin, and she looked good. I was always jealous of her curves but wasn’t brave enough to undergo surgery like she had to get them to remain high and perpetually perked.
I had a decently sized chest, don’t get me wrong, it just… well, I was natural and Julie always sort of made fun of the fact that my tits didn’t have any perk and were kind of saggy. It made me self-conscious about them and I tried all manner of bra shape and size andtape –but no matter what, I couldn’t get things to fit quite the way they were supposed to look and it frustrated me.
“Four-hundred-dollar pair of heels and they didn’t even last one night – girl I would take them back in the morning.”
“I plan on it,”I said and reached out. She made an exasperated sound but helped me, steadying me while I slipped off the offending shoes.
“We’re not going to make it in if you don’t hurry,” she said rolling her light eyes behind her chunky, black framed glasses.
All the money in the world couldn’t fix her failing eyesight or the fact she looked like she was in her late thirties even though we were the same age. All that tanning did a number on her and she always wore too much makeup. She irritated me more often than not with her backhanded compliments always making jabs at my appearance when hers held so many flaws, too; just in different ways. I always thought about it, but I was never socruel as to ever actually say anything about any of it. I felt guilty sometimes, even thinking these things, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever stoop to Julie’s mean-girl level.
Sometimes I wondered if we were actually friends, or if it had just been so long that I just kept going through the motions… you know?
Clubbing and partying was her thing, but she’d reluctantly gone with me to places like Bonaventure earlier in the day for me to look at the flora within the cemetery and how they gardened the plots – which I had been curious about. Likewise, we’d walked through some of the historic districts, likewise looking at the gardens.
I loved flowers and plants and just about everything about planting. It was something I shared with my mother. She loved her rose gardens and had three greenhouses in the back of the big mansion I’d grown up in.
I loved my mother’s gardens and had grown up learning all about them. I was both thrilled at the azaleas in every corner of the old cemetery, and disappointed that I had missed their blooming this year with plans to return during their peak season. I bet it was quite the wonder to behold when they were all in bloom.
“Will they even let me in without shoes?”I asked laughing.
“Well, go back to the hotel and get another pair!”she said and sounded annoyed.
“What, by myself?”I asked incredulously.
“Lore, come on! I did everything you wanted to do all day. You know this is what I came down here for – why are you trying to ruin this for me?”
I twisted out of Julie’s grasp and stopped, just up the block the line was forming to get into this new club that she couldn’t stop raving about.
“I didn’t break my heel on purpose,”I tried and she scoffed and rolled her eyes.
“I don’t see the big deal,”she complained.“The hotel is only like a few blocks away.”
“You want me to walk several blocks alone in a strange city from ours barefoot and you don’t see a problem?”I asked and I admit it, I was becoming incensed, outrage combining with hurt and yes, even a little anger. I thought we were friends… what the fuck?
Julie just stared at me and looked like she was going to put her foot down on this.
“Fine,” I said. “Have a good time.”I turned and walked back the way we’d come and she called after me; “You know what!? I will! You’re always such a drag, Lore! Well, not tonight!”
I kept walking, and flipped her off over my shoulder because with friends like her, who the hell honestly needed enemies?
It wasn’t until a block and a half later that the tears started.
I was so frustrated, and angry, and the more I thought about it the more I was honestly justdonewith the whole damn thing. Trying to be her friend was just too damn much work sometimes.
“Hey, whoa, you alright?”I’d been so focused on watching where I was stepping along the sidewalk, watching for broken glass, or spit, or worse things to spare my poor bare feet, I had crashed right into him.
I looked up sharply.