Page 52 of The Hangman's Rope

Reaper stood in the hall, a long length of satin and lace hanging limp in his hand.

“Thanks, bro,” I murmured, taking it from him. He nodded silently and I shut the door, and somehow, I think the small interruption broke the spell of fear and terror that Lorelai was under. She let me go, slowly, reluctantly, and shivered on the edge of the sink. No, shivered was the wrong word. She wasn’t cold. She trembled. She trembled so much and it jerked the hell out of my heart strings to watch it.

“I’m going to turn on the shower, and we’re going to get you cleaned up. Okay, Sweetpea?”

She nodded, a little too rapidly, and I nodded too, right along with her, but slower.

“I’m so sorry,” her voice cracked and she stuffed both of her hands over it to keep the keening and broken sobbing trying to escape trapped behind them.

“Shhh, ain’t a damn thing to be sorry about,” I soothed. “You just sit there a minute while I get things going.” She nodded, her hands still firmly pressed against her mouth and just trembled, shuddering with the horrors inside her head.

I’d been there. My horrors different from hers, sure – but no better and no worse. Trauma was trauma, and I couldn’t imagine hers. I didn’t want to. Any time my thoughts started to drift in that direction my blood pressure spiked and I saw red, and she didn’t need me to be angry right now. She didn’t need me to be murderous, or hot headed. No, she needed me to be the cool, calm, and collected one right now.

She needed permission to fall apart and permission was more than granted. I would clear the way for her. The faster she got through this, the better – but at the same time, everything in itsown time.Everything was onhertime now. That was just how it needed to be.

I got the shower going, and even though it was small and I was a big bastard taking up my half and the middle of the room, I wasn’t going to leave until she told me it was okay.

When the water was warm enough, and the small space started to fill with steam I turned back to her.

Her hands were pressed to the tops of her thighs, her nails digging into the skin which was dimpled at all five of the points of her fingers. It was an improvement over her holding in her whimpering sobs, but still. I gently covered her hands with mine and worked my fingertips under the palms of her hands. She gripped my hands back and her silvery eyes met mine.

“Can you stand up for me, baby?” I asked her gently and she swallowed hard and nodded, slipping off the edge of the counter and rocking against me. I put my arms around her and she stood stiff for a moment before leaning into me and wrapping her arms around my waist.

“Come on,” I turned her gently in the direction of the shower and thrust her into it carefully. She made a small noise of protest at being shoved into the shower stall with her pajamas still on, but I didn’t think she would be good with getting naked just yet.

I stepped in with her, fully clothed and didn’t give a rat’s ass about getting my clothes wet.

“You’re getting wet!” she tried to protest and I captured her face gently between my hands and turned it up to face me.

“I don’t care,” I said gruffly. “This is about you.”

She froze and stared up at me, searching my eyes, my face, and whatever she saw there had her stiff posture easing.

“You trust me, Sweetpea?” I asked her, swallowing hard and she nodded, still in the grasp of my hands.

“Okay,” I cleared my throat. “I’m here for whatever you need.” I let her go and she immediately tucked herself against me, her arms going around my waist as she broke down all over again against me.

I held her tight, kissed the top of her head a few times absently, and after a bit, I spoke low and careful, murmuring everything I planned to do before I did it, pausing to let her decide if that was okay or not.

I started slow by washing her hair for her, giving her murmured instructions when to tip her head back into the spray as I rinsed it for her.

When she was quiet, and relaxed, I asked if it was okay to push the thin spaghetti straps of her top off her shoulders. She nodded and I helped her slide her arms free. She pushed everything down over her hips and let it splat to the shower floor but was quick to wrap her arms around her chest, hiding herself from me.

Not that I was focused on her beautiful body – I wouldn’t let myself get the least bit distracted by it. Not what she needed. Right now, she needed care and careful attention.

I washed her clean, carefully running my hands over her shoulders and arms to start with. Over her back as she rested her head against my shoulder and stared vacantly, disappearing into her own mind.

I let her take refuge in whatever corner she found that she was comfortable in, and only stopped when another knock fell at the door and she yipped, clinging to me. I turned her, blocking her from view with my broad back and called out, “Yeah?”

The door opened, and Grim stuck his head in.

“Bed’s clean, sheets are running in the laundry. Take your time, bro.”

I nodded and said, “Thanks. Be out in a minute.”

“K,” he shut the door and I turned to face Lorelai who was looking up at me in what could only be described as a daze.

“I couldn’t move,” she said and her voice shook. “I tried, and no matter how hard I told my body to kick, bite, scratch, and scream – Icouldn’t move.”

---