Page 40 of New Year

The kiss went on and on, their mouths and lips exploring, seeking, giving and taking. Zack didn’t push, didn’t force anything deeper than this erotic dance of tongues. Licking and stroking. Chasing and retreating. Their hands played with hair and ears and throat, but never wandered lower. Nat started getting hard, and he didn’t care, because this was the first kiss he’d always wanted.

This was the first kiss he’d deserved, damn it.

Curious and aroused, Nat began to gently push and nudge, until Zack was flat on his back on the sofa, with Nat stretched out on top of him. Nat pressed his thigh against Zack’s erection, and Zack released a gasp into Nat’s mouth. Zack stroked his hands up and down Nat’s back, over his shirt, and Nat wanted them skin on skin. But he didn’t want to take this too far, too fast. Didn’t want to get attached if all Zack wanted was a fling with the ex-hooker.

Stop it, that’s not who Zack is, and you know it.

When Zack released another, deeper moan, Nat realized he was humping Zack’s hip with his own hard dick, and he froze. Put a hand on the cushion by Zack’s head to raise himself up. Zack’s shining eyes and glistening lips gave him the courage to say, “I didn’t mean to take things this far.”

“I’m not complaining.” Zack rested his hands on the small of Nat’s back, firm without trapping him. “In fact, I am actively enjoying it. If you couldn’t tell.”

Nat chuckled. “I can tell. I love this, Zack, I really do. The kissing and cuddling, but I’m not ready to have sex with you yet.”

“All right. I respect that, Nat, I truly do. I would never force myself on you.”

“I know. I just didn’t want you to think this meant I was ready for more.”

“Kissing and a little light frotting is not automatic consent to more. I know you aren’t used to being with men who think like that, but I do. I always used to be a man who believed in enthusiastic consent, but I lost sight of that belief for a little while. I lost a little of myself, and I have a lot of regrets from that time. But I’m not him anymore. I left that man behind in Wilmington.”

Nat stroked the light stubble on the side of Zack’s cheek, enjoying the roughness. The way it had abraded his own cheeks while they kissed. “I’m scared you’ll be another thing I have to survive.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Zack gently pushed, and Nat allowed him to arrange them so Nat was sitting on Zack’s lap. Both were still hard but that was secondary to the intensity of Zack’s gaze and voice. “I don’t want to be that for you, either. So we’re clear, I’m not looking for a fling here. I’ve had my share of flings and empty sex, and if that’s all I wanted, I could find it. But I gave up on meaningless sex a long time ago. I want something real, and while I never expected to develop feelings for you when I chose to help you, I did develop them. And I’m not sorry.”

Nat slipped his right hand around to rest on the back of Zack’s neck, heart fluttering with joy. “I have feelings for you, too, but they scare me.”

“I understand. Mine scare me a little bit, too. You’re so much younger than me, and it worries me that you might see me as some sort of savior figure you need to thank.”

“I won’t lie, Zack, I did. The first few nights I spent here? I did wait for you to call me into your room. To ask for sex. But you never did. You gave me a chance to get to know you, to trust you, and to really, really like who you are.”

“Does our age difference bother you?”

“Bother me? Not really. I’m aware of it. You have a lot more life experience than me, but I’m not some innocent college student you seduced with your lumpy sofa bed.”

Zack grinned. “Damn. Here I thought sofa beds were the new bouquet of roses.”

“Roses will always be at the top of the seduction list, along with home-cooked meals and massages.”

“Are you giving me hints?”

“I mean…” Nat was out of practice at flirting, so he pressed a soft kiss to Zack’s lips. “I’m saying that I have feelings for you, and I’d like to see if there’s something between us. To date, I guess? Explore our chemistry?”

“People usually date before they start living together, don’t they?”

“Typically, yes, but if you hadn’t asked me to live here for a while, then we might never have found our feelings. And we do have separate jobs that keep us apart for most of each workday, so?—”

“Oh shit. Work.” Zack looked at the wall clock and blanched. “I’ve gotta get going, or I’ll be late to work. I’m covering lunch, because of a VIP reservation. Shit.”

“It’s okay.” Nat eased off Zack’s lap and stood, grateful for the interruption. The conversation had gotten a little too serious, and he needed to step back from it. Really absorb what they’d both said and agreed to. Except, had they agreed to anything?

While Zack bolted into the bathroom to get ready for work, Nat poured himself a mug of coffee, and then put the rest into a travel mug for Zack. Somehow, his morning had gone from nursing a hangover to confessing his feelings, and possibly having a boyfriend. It was a lot to deal with, but at least he’d have some space to work it out.

He sipped his coffee at the counter and waited. Eventually, Zack tore out of the bedroom, still fixing his necktie, and he headed straight for the travel mug. “Thank you,” Zack said as he turned toward the alarm panel. Disarmed the system. Grabbed his keys.

Disappointment stirred in Nat’s gut. Zack stopped with his hand nearly on the knob. Turned and marched back to the kitchen. Kissed Nat soundly on the mouth in a way that chased that kernel of disappointment away.

“I’m only working part of dinner service,” Zack said. “I’ll text you when I get off. Interested in going out to a late dinner with me?”

“Yeah? Yes. Definitely.”

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