Page 58 of New Year

The bedroom was empty. Zack grabbed a pair of gym shorts and a clean t-shirt. He found Nat on the corner of the sofa, dressed in sweats, even though the apartment’s warmish temperature left Zack uncomfortable in his chosen clothes. But if Nat wanted to be covered up, Zack wouldn’t comment. He did tick the air conditioning down a few degrees for himself.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Zack asked. “Coffee? Soda? I think there’s some cranberry juice left”

“Cold water would be great, thanks.”

“Right.” He poured them each a glass and brought them back to the sofa. Sat in the middle, close to Nat, while still giving him space.

Nat sipped his water. His color was better but his eyes were still haunted. “I can’t believe you knelt in my barf.”

The complete non-sequitur startled Zack into laughing. “Well, I didn’t give it a lot of thought. You were upset, and I needed to do something.”

“Still. Austin hated that kind of stuff. I had the stomach flu once, and he stayed in a hotel while I suffered alone in our apartment.”

Zack growled. “Did you see Austin today?”

“Yeah.” Nat put his glass on the coffee table and wrapped his arms around his legs, hugging his knees close. “I was leaving the bathroom and someone grabbed my arm. Austin dragged me over toward the back wall. Trapped me there. Asked where I’d been. Acted like he was so relieved to see me, that he’d been worried since I disappeared.”

His lack of real inflection didn’t give Zack any emotional clues to go on, but that didn’t stop a flash of fury that Austin had put his hands on Nat. “Did he threaten you?”

“Not really. He said I did a bad thing, and he was disappointed in me. His tone was…angry, but we were in public, so he couldn’t hurt me. But I couldn’t do or say anything. I just froze like a complete fucking coward.”

“Freezing isn’t cowardly, Nat. It’s how you protect yourself, by minimizing damage.”

“Maybe.” Nat extended one hand; Zack squeezed it tight, so happy Nat had reached out first. “He asked if I wanted to drive out to our spot. It’s this picnic spot in the mountains by Sparrow Creek, semi-private. I obviously didn’t want to go, but then he had his hand on my hip, and his hand started to grab my ass, and everything just went gray. I didn’t plan to vomit on him, but I’m glad I did. He ran away.”

“It was definitely a creative way to scare off an ex.” He drew Nat’s hand up so he could kiss his knuckles. “I am so sorry he scared you so badly today. I should have gone with you.”

“To the bathroom?” Nat yanked his hand back, scowling. “I’m an adult, and I was having a fantastic time today. Austin was in the very back of my mind, and he caught me completely off guard. If I’d needed to take a piss five minutes sooner or waited five minutes longer, we might never have seen each other. It was pure chance.”

“Are you sure?”

“No. I want to believe it, but no, I’m not sure. How can I be? I do believe he’s been looking for me, which is why I stayed under the radar for so long. But today was a lot of fun. Until it wasn’t. I’m just sick of hiding from him, you know? He’s a user and a bully, but he’s not the bogeyman. He scared me a little today, but he wasn’t going to hurt me.”

“Not in public. But I’ve known men like Austin. Brett was the exact same kind of guy. A user and abuser, and a narcissist who doesn’t like being left. Austin wants to be the one to dump you, and I’m worried now. That he’s going to try and do something to put you in your place.”

Nat picked at the knee of his sweats. “I know he could. He did it before. Last year.”

When Nat didn’t elaborate, Zack asked, “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“Last fall, Austin and I broke up. I thought it was mutual, but looking back, it was definitely Austin’s decision, so I moved on. I ended up dating this amazing guy named Angelo for about a month. Things were great with him, and I honestly started seeing a future for us.” Nat’s faint smile flattened. “Then Austin wanted to get back with me. He threatened Angelo if I didn’t break up with him.”

Zack’s eyebrows hit his hairline. “He threatened to hurt your current boyfriend, unless you dumped him and went back to Austin?”

“Yeah. I know what Austin is capable of, and he knew who Angelo was, what his business was, who his friends were. I couldn’t risk Austin screwing any of that up for him.”

“Did, um.” Zack fisted his hands, trying to send his rising anger into the pain of his fingernails digging into his palms. He didn’t want any of it directed at Nat, or to scare Nat into not answering. “Did Austin punish you?”

Nat nodded. “Outside of sex, Austin wasn’t very physical. His punishments were more psychological, because mental scars are easier to hide from your coworkers. Instead of hitting me, he’d give me the silent treatment at home. Only order dinner for him and not for me. Criticize everything I did, even if I knew I’d done it perfectly. Every time I had so much as a sniffle, he’d treat it like the plague, like I’d end up back in the hospital having another surgery.”

The scars Zack had never asked about. Nat sounded more angry than upset, so Zack pressed a bit more. “Another surgery? How many have you had?”

“Three. But that’s my mother, and I don’t want to talk about her yet.”

“Okay. So, Austin mentally abused you to keep you in line.”

“And with money. Uh, financial abuse? That’s what it’s called? He demanded I give him my paychecks. Sometimes I’d keep some of my cash tips for myself, but I had to be careful that he didn’t notice me buying extra things. Usually, I’d splurge on food, or I’d buy a couple of re-usable credit cards to stash away. They helped me get a motel for the first few nights after I left him, but then I ran out of money.”

“But you were thinking ahead, and that’s smart, Nat. It was really smart. Austin created a hostile environment that made it difficult for you to leave. But you did. When he pushed you too far.” Zack rubbed his leg, hoping Nat would uncoil a little. His words were flowing more freely as he spoke about the horrors of his past, but his body language was still a steel barrier between them.

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