Page 61 of The Witch Queen

“Thank you, Carex. And thank you for coming tonight.”

“I wouldn’t miss it. My parents are here as well. We decided to have our family dinner here instead of at their home.”

“That’s wonderful. Please, tell them Happy Solstice from me,” I say, then turn to make a plate, but his arm reaches out, halting me.

“Laurel, can I speak with you for a moment?” I look down at his hand wrapped around my wrist, gripping tightly. He removes it quickly. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Please, can we speak privately? Just over in that corner.” I nod and follow him there. “Laurel, I know you’ve been spending more time with the Velmarans. The Prince especially. My Royal Guards reported you spent an entire day with him in the training room the day after the attack.”

I’m shocked at the boldness of his statement, surprise quickly turning to anger. “Excuse me? May I remind you they aremyRoyal Guards, as I am the titularroyal.You are simply their Captain, who serves at my pleasure. And who I spend my time with is none of your concern. Whatconcerns me, however, is that you appear to be spying on your Queen. Receivingreportsabout me.”

Carex blanches, and he stammers his apologies. “Please, forgive me, Your Majesty. It was a series of poorly chosen words. It’s only that the guards informed me, as they were concerned for your safety. I assure you I’m not having you watched.” I study him closely, suspicion building. He now has access to Nemesia’s network of spies and informants. And he campaigned fiercely to be sent to Delsar for the Forum of Royals. Our relationship gave him access to many of the inner workings of the government, decades before he was an official advisor on my Council. Could he be the mole? “I wanted to speak with you because I need to share critical information,” he continues. “I’ve been trying to get a meeting scheduled with you since the day of the attack, but you’ve been busy helping prepare the palace. The guards who went to the thayar tower that day described seeing a fae who matches the description of Prince Hawthorne. It was a brief glimpse, as iflight shieldingfailed for just a moment. I think he was there during the attack and is working with the rebels. We need to question him.” Carex’s eyes bore into me, concern and something else lingering in them.

This presents new challenges. I won’t be able to hide my partnership with the Velmarans for much longer if the rumors of this spread. I carefully consider my next words. “Thank you for the information. I’d like to think over the best approach for investigating this. Let’s not worry about it during Abscission.” Hopefully that buys me some time to squash these rumors. He nods, looking like he wants to say more, but I cut him off. “Now, I should sit with the people.” I turn and walk away.

As I approach the buffet to fill my plate, Thorne leans against the wall next to it, arms crossed. Something about his posture is off, not giving off the usual vibes of effortless nonchalance. When I enter the buffet line, he follows behind me.

“Whyis the Captain of your Royal Guard grabbing your wrist?” he asks icily, his eyes containing no trace of the flirting male I’m used to seeing. “I could see it from here. And he used your given name.” He clenches and unclenches his jaw. “Is everything okay?”

“Carex and I have… history. We used to—we were together. Lovers,” I joke. The muscle in Thorne’s jaw feathers. “He occasionally blurs the lines between advisor and monarch. He was informing me the guards spotted you at the tower during the attack. Descriptions made their way to him. We need to be careful.”

“Lovers?” he asks sharply, and his jaw clenches again.

I laugh. “I tell you that my advisors are warning me you’re involved with the rebels, andthat’swhat you focus on?”

“They can’t prove it, and as long as I’m not spotted again, it will pass. It was a brief sighting, and in a very confusing and highly emotional moment for them.” He waves as if this is trivial compared to his real question. “How long ago did yourhistoryend?” I study him for a moment, electricity sparking through me as I consider whether Thorne might be jealous. But surely he’s not. That seems like a stretch, especially for someone who flirts with everyone. And then I feel confused again, remembering that I chose not to pursue anything with him, and for good reason.

I roll my eyes to hide my conflicting emotions as I fill my plate with dish after dish. “A long time ago, Thorne. And it’s none of your business. He wanted more from me, but he couldn’t handle it. And I wasn’t ready for that commitment. He was afraid of me and still is. It never would have worked out. End of story.” I pause. “Whyam I telling you this? It’ssonot your business.” He only shrugs and winks. I sigh.Aethers, this situation is weird.

“If he grabs you like that again, I want you to spear him through the middle with light,” he commands, that serious, unflinching leader emerging in his tone and expression.

“Noted.”

The Solstice dinner passes in joyful celebration. The people open up over the course of the evening, and I speak to many of them about their lives and what they lost in the attack. Though it breaks my heart, I feel hope—for the first time in a long time—that we’ll be able to rebuild and stop the rebellion. I wish Nemesia were here. She’d love seeing the people brought together like this, even though she’d pretend she hated the party. I smile inwardly thinking of her dressed up in a gown for a fancy dinner. She’d probably wear her fighting leathers underneath it, knowing her.

“This was a wonderful idea,” Admon leans over and says to me, interrupting my thoughts of Nemesia. I can’t help but agree. We clink our glasses together in a toast, and his eyes twinkle in a fatherly approval that makes me pull my shoulders back proudly. When dinner is over, Silene stands from her seat next to me.

“I hope you all enjoyed the delicious food. I certainly did. Now, we dance!” With a dramatic hand gesture, several advisors escort musicians into the room. They set up and begin with a lively tune.

Silene walks along the table, encouraging people to get up and dance. She’s asked to dance by practically every male in the room, but she turns them all away, preferring instead to run around chasing children while they scream with glee. Thorne and Fionn, on the other hand, are each led to the dance floor by females, though Fionn doesn’t look happy about it. Aria has her hand wrapped around Thorne’s, and she laughs at something he says. Steaming jealousy rears its head inside of me again. Silene seems oblivious, content to let her fiancé dance with a gorgeous and lust-filled female. Maybe they really are just friends.

“Laurel, would you dance with me?” Carex asks, startling me from my brooding. Although I want to say no, I need to distract myself. Taking Carex’s hand, he leads me to the dance floor just as a slow and traditional Solstice dance begins. Carex wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close as we sway to the music.

“This reminds me of our first Solstice together,” he says, voice low. “I think it was this very song that we danced to that night.”

We had danced to this song, alone in his parent’s home in Arberly after they’d gone to bed. We’d been courting for several months but hadn’t gotten serious until that night. It was the first Solstice I spent outside of the castle. At the time, I was so captivated by Carex’s handsomeness that I barely remembered the steps to the dance. He smiled every time I blushed, and we ended the night whispering our feelings for one another in front of the fire, kissing and fucking like adolescent fae experiencing their first relationship, even though it was hardly the first time for either of us.

“It was this song,” I say, smiling at the memory, cheeks heating.

Carex’s hand tightens around my waist, and he pulls me closer, placing his forehead on mine. “Laurel,” he breathes. “I’ve missed you.”

“You see me every week,” I respond as I pull my head back, knowing that’s not what he means.

“I see the Queen every week. I haven’t seen Laurel,myLaurel, in a long time,” he whispers. “But something about you is different. In a good way. You seem lighter, happier. More open, despite everything going on.” His hand splays across my back, fingers lightly exploring, trailing closer and closer to my ass. I stiffen.

“Carex—don’t. We agreed. We both wanted to move on. We couldn’t give each other what we needed.” I repeat the words we’d said.

“What if—what if I don’t? Want to move on, I mean. All I ever wanted was for you to open up to me, to the world. That’s what I needed from you. Maybe now you’re ready to give it to me. I know you didn’t think our relationship was over for good back then. I certainly didn’t.” His gray eyes are shining and hopeful. When it ended, therewasa part of me that had hoped he’d change his mind, hoped he’d give me a reason to try again. I’ve imagined countless conversations like this one over the last several decades.

Now those thoughts have been consumed by others that are decidedlynotabout Carex. Thoughts about someone who’s equally unavailable, but who’s undoubtedly the reason for the change Carex has noticed in me. I almost laugh aloud, realizing Carex wants me now that someone else has brought out what he never could.

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