Page 87 of The Witch Queen

“Yes, of course, Admon,” Laurel says.

“It seems to me that Prince Hawthorne may have already accepted the bond, based on how he described his experience. Hisaether-heart.” His words ring true, and I nod.

“It’s definitely changed, and it… it feels like you,” I say, locking eyes with Laurel. I want to smile, but her expression gives me pause.

“How can you possibly know that?” she demands, somewhat sharply, but I don’t flinch. I just keep meeting her gaze, unwavering in my certainty.

“It’s just an instinct, like the mating bond itself. But I know it’s right.” Her eyes stare at me, searching my expression like she always does, looking for any sign of deceit.

“Your Majesty,” Admon interjects, “based on your description, I think you have not yet accepted the bond. You mentioned a swirling energy trying to get in. My guess is that energy is the bond, waiting for you to accept it. I imagine if you rejected the bond, that energy would go away, and if you accepted, youraether-heartwould change.” Laurel practically shudders, and it breaks my heart just a little, but I keep my expression neutral. I won’t pressure her—she needs to decide for herself if she wants to take this leap with me.

“I see,” is all she says, her voice quiet and thoughtful.

Admon clears his throat again, then stands. “I’ll send word if I find anything else.” The male has ascertained that the two of us need a moment alone. With a bow, he leaves the room, and I instantly wrap Laurel’s hands in both of mine.

“Talk to me Laurel. Tell me what you’re feeling,” I whisper, unable to stay silent. I drop my chin to her shoulder. She stalls, looking everywhere but at me. I only squeeze her hand, giving her time.

“Do you really think you’ve accepted the bond?” she finally asks, pulling back from me so she can search my face.

“I do,” I soothe, steady in my resolve.

“But… How? How could you accept something somassive,solife changing,in an instant?” Her voice cracks just slightly, and I know this is hard for her. This is the same female who has shuttered herself away from the world, away from any companionship beyond the best friend who has now betrayed her. She practices her magic in the most isolated part of the entire Four Kingdoms so that there is no chance of her losing control. She plans down to the most insignificant detail. Of course she’s struggling to accept this. I’ll do whatever it takes to show her she can trust me, that I’m a safe place for her. I take my hand from hers to wrap my arms around her middle, snuggling her against me where we sit on the couch.

“Because it wasn’t in an instant. I’ve felt that bond since the moment I met you, even without knowing what it was. I’ve watched you, gotten to know you, seen your love for your people and your desire to be a good ruler.” I squeeze her tightly. “When I said you were the answer to a question I’ve asked my entire life, I meant it. Something about you feels right. Realizing what you were to me was simply a moment of clarity in what has been an aethers-confusing several months.” She laughs, bringing a lightness to my body instantly, but it doesn’t last. She stands, walking away from me to stare out the window.

“I’m not like you,” she says, voice emotionless. “I’m not—I don’t easily accept others into my confidence. And the ones I have accepted either end up dead or betraying me…” She says the words quickly, like they’re just a fact, but her voice cracks, and that sound has me on my feet and moving to stand beside her again. But I don’t touch her this time, just give her my presence as she continues. “Thorne, I’m not good. I care for my people, yes, but I—thethingsI’ve done to protect Thayaria…” She’s lost in her own thoughts,finallyrevealing her emotions, so I stay silent, even if what she tells me breaks my heart. Her expression steels, like she’s going to tell me something truly terrible. “I planned tokillyou when you finished getting me information about the rebels. I don’t know if I would have, but I still planned—” The way her voice cracks tells me the risk she doesn’t accept this bond is low. She cares for me, she just needs time to realize it. “And you don’t even know—don’t understand. My power, it’s… my power is different. It’s not good.I’m not safe.” Tears build in her eyes, but only a single teardrop escapes. I wipe it away, keeping my gaze locked on hers. While my curiosity about her power has plagued me for months, I don’t press it. It’s torture not wrapping her up in my arms.

“I understand why you would’ve planned to kill me. It was the smart decision, one I know that had our roles been reversed, Silene would have advised I do to you.” I give her a nudge and a grin. “Laurel, I told you before—there’s no part of you I fear. But let me amend that statement. There’s no part of you I don’t admire, that I don’t respect. And there’s no part of you I wish you to hide from me. I want to see every side of you, Laurel, even the parts you can’t bear to look at yourself.”

“What if I’m too afraid to show you?” she asks, so much vulnerability in her voice it makes me ache. I take both of her hands in mine, then cradle them on my chest, next to my aether-heart.

“You aren’t, of that I’m sure,” I whisper. “I know there’s nothing you’re too afraid of, even if you yourself don’t believe that yet. It might take you a month or a century to trust me enough, but I’m patient. I’ll make every day another opportunity toproveto you I’m worthy of your trust, that I’m worthy to stand by your side. And even if you never accept the mating bond, I’ll still choose you. You can let that light swirl around youraether-heartfor eternity. I’m not going anywhere.” The words are truer than she knows. Even if she accepts the bond, I’ll spend every day we’re together trying to be worthy of her, even if I never achieve it. Lunaria appears, rubbing her body against Laurel’s legs until she lets go of my hands and pets the massive cat. I laugh at the intrusion in such an intense moment, but it seems to calm Laurel, so I’m happy to let Lunaria into our space. “All I ask, Laurel, is that you don’t give up. That you keep chipping away at that stony exterior and let me in a little at a time. It doesn’t have to be every day, and you will inevitably put walls back up even as you drop others. But can you promise to give us a real chance?” I ask, holding my breath for her answer. She nods, and I release a sigh.

“Yes,” she says, breathy, like a confession. I can’t stop myself, and my lips crash onto hers. She meets my passionate embrace, wrapping her arms around me. I’m vaguely aware of Lunaria padding away, but my focus on Laurel is singular. I cup my hands under her ass and lift her, carrying her to the desk in the corner. With a blink, she removes everything from the top with magic, and I chuckle even as I continue my frantic kissing. I place her gently, so gently, on the desk. Then I rip open the top of her dress in one furious motion, exposing her perfect breasts.

The world around me disappears. I’ve imagined this moment, dreamed of exposing those perfectly blush nipples, so many times. But now that it’s finally here, I can’t believe I ever tried to construct the perfection in my mind. Nothing compares to reality, and an involuntary groan escapes me as I hold their weight in my hands. Laurel runs her fingers through my hair, and I bring my lips to her chest. I kiss my way across each breast, then suck one nipple into my mouth and bite down gently.

“Thorne,” she moans, and it nearly undoes me. I bring the skirt of her dress up to her hips, running my palms across the soft and delicate skin of her thighs. Thank fuck she’s wearing a gown today. She dips her head back, and I tease her with light touches on her inner thighs that move closer and closer to where I know she’s already wet. She moans again. “Please,” she whispers, but I hold back from giving her what she wants. I stroke my thumb across the barrier of fabric of her undergarments, but I don’t move them to the side. She arches her hips toward me in a demanding motion. With a final sensual kiss, I lower her skirt, taking my time stroking her legs as I do. “Thorne,” she whimpers, the word a plea, but I hold my ground. I bring my mouth close to her ear.

“I want you to be sure, witchling,” I whisper, and she shivers. “Of us, and of the mating bond. When you’re ready, I promise you our joining will beelectrifying.”I help her from the desk, then patiently wait for her to change into leggings and a tunic for a training session.

“They’re asking for a route into the palace,” Silene tells Laurel, Fionn, and me several hours later. After the meeting with the Council, Silene and Fionn visited the granary to check in with the rebels. They were trying to discover whether the rebels discovered the letter we stole. Instead, they’d received a message from Krantz, detailing plans to attack Laurel and the palace. I guess they don’t suspect us, at least not yet—not a promising sign that Nemesia isn’t the mole.

It feels like eons have passed since I promised Laurel I would help convince the rebels to attack her instead of her people. So much has changed between us, and I’m even less interested in enabling her to put her life on the line than I once was.

“And they plan to attack in three weeks?” Laurel asks, wholly unphased by the news that the rebellion is planning an attack on her.

Silene nods. “That’s what they said. They also mentioned a backup plan, but it’s less than ideal, so they’d like us to sneak in three dozen rebels. And said that once we sneak the rebels in, we should make ourselves scarce.” Laurel’s calm somehow makes me more agitated.

“We obviously can’t help them,” I say with a voice that leaves no room for argument. “We need to cut our losses and move on. We’ve gained what we needed to.” Silene and Fionn both look like they’re about to agree, but Laurel cuts them off.

“No. If they can’t get in here, who knows what they’ll do to Arberly or the nearby villages. We’ll let them attack, but in a controlled way.” Every nerve in my body protests the plan. “There are many servants’ entrances. You can tell them about one of them. We’ll let them in, but I’ll be ready for them.” I dislike this plan, and I’m about to look to Silene for help to convince Laurel that this is madness when my friend adds her own twist to the scheme.

“Good point. We should rush our plans to take out their headquarters in Oakton and do it at the same time,” Silene adds, and I slump in defeat. “It will probably be empty while they attack the palace, and we can send a group to the manor. We’ll collect all the information we can from it, then burn it to the ground. It only brings our plans up by a few days, and this way we won’t have any unnecessary casualties.” I don’t like this, and my agitation throws me off. I’m not used to getting so worked up, but the thought of Laurel putting herself at risk makes my skin crawl.

“If the timing of our attack on their manor coincides, the rebels will know we’re working with you. Our ruse will be over,” I offer, clawing for any excuse not to move forward with this plan.

“As you said, Thorne,” Laurel says coolly, challenge in the gaze she lands right on me. “We’ve gained what we needed to. Time to cut our losses. Might as well go out with a bang.” Her smirk is wicked, and if I weren’t panicking for her safety, I’d growl back my own flirtatious barb.

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