Page 80 of A Kingdom of Lies

I paused, the intake of breath shuddering as I readied myself to reveal my truth. And slowly I let it out, one terrifying word at a time; it didn’t hurt as much as I believed it would.

“When I am with you, I feel close to them,” I said, voice buried beneath the winter winds that raced across us.

“Who?”

“My father and mother.” It hit me, the reality of their story intermingling with ours. Maybe that was why I drew so close to Duncan, like a moth to a flame, ready to burn in his fire. Because it was my grief making history replay itself. “There’s so much of their story I don’t know nor will have the chance to ever understand. But my father, like you, fell for someone they had been taught to hunt and hate. You both changed your way of thinking. Being with you makes me feel as though I understand them more than I would have if my father had the chance to explain it to me more. I have to believe, that if my father can change, you can change – the humans can to.”

“You think I have fallen for you?” Duncan asked, making my cheeks burn red. His forefinger and thumb still gripped my chin, touch gentle and caressing.

“By the sounds of it I don’t think I want to know your answer to that question,” I replied, wanting nothing more than to change the subject for fear of hearing how wrong I was.

I was in the midst of punishing myself internally when Duncan leaned in. He pressed a kiss upon my lips, and I melted instantly. They were dry and chapped, but the connection was nothing less than pleasurable. I closed my eyes, enjoying every second of his touch. His fingers let go of my chin and instead cupped my cheek as he held me close.

When he finally pulled back, I could’ve cried out in frustration.

“If I admit that I’m falling for you, then I almost accept that the ground I’m to meet will be terrible and unforgiving. But yes, Robin Icethorn, I have fallen. For you. All of you, despite the inner voice that screams in protest. I know better now and ignore it for you are far superior to anyone I could’ve ever imagined. Which is why I don’t want to do this – why I want you to change your mind and turn back.”

My stomach jolted at his revelation. “But that will never happen.”

Duncan’s gaze darted across my face, eyes searching my reaction with keen interest. “Vengeance isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, Robin.”

He still believed I did this for Doran. In a sense, I did, but not to the extent Duncan first believed.

“Do you hear yourself, Duncan? It seems like a lesson you should heed.”

“It is.”

Silence, once again, clashed between us, threatening to draw us further apart like a vicious tide receding. But this time Duncan refused the distance. He was the one to speak first, shattering the quiet with loud, demanding words.

“Don’t hide from me anymore. Say something, Robin,” he begged, fingers tracing my cold cheek. “No more silence between us.”

I couldn’t fight the smile that tugged at my cheeks, or how my chest warmed as his words still spun through my mind like an unrelenting hurricane. “And what is it you want for me to say?”

“Well.” Duncan traced his thumb down my face until his touch ran across my lip. “If there was any time to tell me howyoufelt then there’d be no better opportunity. Or are you afraid to bare yourself to me, Robin? There’s no one listening. Just me and you. Not even the stars will judge you.”

I looked skyward, taking in the glowing balls of light speckled amongst the night sky. “Are you too ignorant to see what happens to those I care for? Think harder and you will understand why I keep my thoughts to myself. I don’t wish to see another person I care for used as a weapon against me.”

Erix had been on my mind a lot over the past days, haunting me with happy memories, burying the monster he’d been forced to become.

Duncan lay there, fingers still upon my face as I spoke, brows raised above his dark, all-seeing gaze; he hardly blinked for fear of missing the way my face changed during my confession. “So, youdocare for me?”

“Nothing gets past you, does it?” I said softly.

“Not a single detail. Robin, stop fearing what could be, and enjoy what is. Doran, Erix, those are names which you can forget in time. I’m not as expendable as you may be used to. I will never allow myself to be used to cause you harm or pain.”

“You say that now.” Erix hadn’t wanted to be used by Doran, he had no choice in the matter. I certainly never saw it as a possibility, until his hands took the life of my father, controlled by the bidding of a crazed man. “Time will tell what’ll become of you and me. We are both equally foolish to keep pretending that our… whatever this is, will carry on when we reach Lockinge. Even Father had the chance to tell me how terrible it is for a Hunter and a fey to fall for one another. He gave up his life, his physical appearance and who he was, just for the chance of being with my mother. And look where they both ended up.”

Six feet under.

I shivered, and not from the cold; from the honest and scary fact that our feelings were nothing but trouble. This would never last.

It was Duncan’s turn to be lost for words. He let go of my face, hands falling beside him. I lay still as he turned onto his back, staring up at the dark skies. I was ready to hear him agree with me, to tell me that I was right and this stupid, childish relationship we’d found ourselves entangled in would have to stop before it ended in death.

But he didn’t.

Instead, Duncan did what he did best and surprised me. “I never had anything to lose before you. No family. No friends beyond the ones I used to get the position I’m in today. Then in a matter of days, all that changed. I cannot speak for how you feel or how you wish to guard yourself from the world. But I know, with such burning and irrefusable fact, that I’d do anything not to risk losing the one thing of importance to me.” Duncan turned his head, dark hair falling across his cheeks but not enough to obscure the glimmer of tears in his eyes. “If you tell me you want this to end, then it ends. Here and now. No matter how it will hurt, I will do it for you. But if you are brave and wish to face the risk ahead by my side, then I will do it too.”

I couldn’t deny him, nor myself; even if my mind told me to refuse him, my heart demanded the opposite. “Do we have a plan then?” I asked, voice meek.

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