Page 39 of A Game of Monsters

I stood like that for a while, speechless and empty. As if saving the world wasn’t enough of a motivation for my actions, but seeing the potential of a future, knowing what this meant to Seraphine – who’d lost so much – made my focus only intensify.

My eyes settled on the closed door opposite my room. Erix would be inside, sleeping, doing the very thing I should. But I knew that would be impossible.

I slipped across the corridor before I changed my mind.

Pushing every other thought from my mind, I scanned the dark room and found the outline of a bed in the distance. No matter how carefully I tried to close the door, the click of the latch still woke him.

“It’s only me,” I called softly as Erix stirred awake. “Sorry to scare you.”

“Robin?” Erix replied through a croaky voice. “What’s wrong?”

I stood at the entrance to his room, wondering if I left now, would he fall asleep and forget this.

When I couldn’t force out a reply, Erix leaned up on his elbows, fixing those bright eyes on me. “Talk to me, little bird. Let me help you.”

The use of my nickname broke me. “I – I can’t sleep.”

I hadn’t tried yet, but I knew that it would’ve been impossible.

I sounded like a broken child, which wasn’t entirely wrong. Erix’s pondering silence made me fill the quiet with more words – words I knew I’d regret one day.

“I’m afraid of the dark, more so than ever before,” I forced out, before the sob in my throat choked me.

In the wake of speaking with Seraphine, the weight of what I had to do, and why, was suffocating me just like she’d warned.

There was a shuffling as Erix manoeuvred his long body, shifting wings out the way. They’d been draped over him like blankets, covering his almost-naked body. My cheeks warmed at the glimpse of undershorts. Erix looked so vulnerable, matching how I felt inside and out.

“Do you need me to come to your room, little bird?” Erix asked, the question having far too much weight to it. “Or you can stay here… with me.”

It felt like a betrayal, doing this, with Duncan all alone in Imeria, guarded like a monster, chained to a bed I once hoped we could share together. Why did I deserve comfort, when he had none? And yet my feet moved, my legs drawing me over to Erix’s bedside. I stood by the edge of the bed, exhaling tension-filled breaths until a hand reached for me and pulled me back.

“This is wrong of me,” I whispered, thinking about Duncan and how pained he would be to know I was standing in this room. “Tell me to go back to my room.”

“As long as you sleep, little bird. That is all I worry about, there is nothing wrong with that.”

The bed creaked as Erix made space for me to join him. “I’ll keep you safe in the dark. Now, tomorrow and every day going forwards. Just as I promised Duncan I would.”

If I had tears left to shed, my cheeks would’ve been sodden. “There will come a time when I must face it alone, what will I do then without you being there to comfort me?”

I craved his response. Although I’d heard it before, I needed it repeated to me as my motivation to carry on. Selfishly, I needed to hear it. And I was nothing but the king of being selfish.

“You will have Duncan, and that will bring me peace.”

It was both what I longed to hear, and wasn’t. “Why do you do this, Erix?”

“Because it is my duty. You, Robin Icethorn, aremyduty.”What about Duncan?I dared not say the question aloud, not that I needed to. Because Erix sensed it and added a final line to his answer. “And I promised Duncan to look after you. I do this for him, as much as I do it for you.”

That was all I needed to hear. It snapped me out of my stupor, enough for me to turn on my heel and leave his room.

Erix didn’t call out for me, nor did he chase after me. He let me leave, didn’t attempt to stop me closing the door and solidifying the boundary line between us, the oneIhad almost crossed.

CHAPTER 9

Erix was, as he always had been, polite. I woke to the tap of his knuckles against the door before it creaked open, waking me from my light sleep. My initial thought was he was going to mention the previous night, but instead he acted as if it had never happened. He didn’t give it the power of meaning something as he greeted me, asking how I slept, to which I’d lied when I said ‘well’.

“Zarrel has come to collect us for breakfast, so I thought I would wake you,” Erix announced, his too broad posture squeezed between the frame. “But I see you need some time.”

“Shit,” I mumbled, clearing sleep from my eyes. I’d slept, at most, a few hours and was suffering greatly for it. “Just give me… a minute.”

---