Page 65 of A Game of Monsters

With the tip of his boot, he moved my feet into a wider stance. I felt silly, being moved around like a puppet by someone else, but I didn’t stop him. There was something truly all-consuming about giving up my control. But part of the power came from allowing myself to hand it to Erix.

We began to move to the music, finding the rhythm, our feet carefully stepping around one another, making sure not to trip or step on toes. It took little time for the music to fade into the background, until the only beat I cared about was our breathing. It entwined together like the vines of roses, weaving and knotting, until it would never break apart.

“This certainly never happened the last time we were at a ball together,” Erix said as he spun me, the room and crowd becoming a blur. “You were too busy causing me grief, and getting in my face with threats, if memory serves me.”

“Consider yourself fortunate to get a second chance with me.”

I looked away quickly, blushing, hating myself for enjoying this closeness. There was a guilt that came to giving up everything to Erix. Until I reminded myself that this was for him.

I did this for him – because this wasn’t only the second chance but the only chance.

As Rafaela said, I had my goodbyes to make. I considered this act my first.

“When this is all over, what do you want from the new world?” I asked him, aware of the room blurring around us as we spun and wove amongst other dancing couples. “Indulge me with your answer.”

It was a question I’d wondered about. Erix had only ever shown interest in helping me, but he had to have a plan for the future. Somethinghedesired beyond my orbit.

Erix took a moment to ponder my question. All without his steel-hued eyes leaving me. “To live long enough to see you find true happiness.”

A blush crept up my neck, staining my cheeks. “You couldn’t have just said something simple, like building a home, or starting a chicken farm…”

“That is secondary,” Erix said, his voice so soft it was a miracle I could hear it. “Anyway, when have I ever showed interest in chickens, Robin?”

I shrugged, spinning again as Erix led me around the room. “I don’t know. You must have had interests long before I stumbled into your life. Surely, something you could take with you.”

“If you asked me what I had wanted before that fateful day I saved you–”

“Saved me?” I squawked. “From how I remember it, I saved myself. Or did I imagine freezing that Hunter’s body in half?”

Erix narrowed his eyes at me, smiling naturally at the memory. “Regardless of the intricacies, if you asked me that question, I would have answered that I only ever wanted freedom. I had run from my home, run from the truth of what I was to Doran. But you, in a way, already gave me everything I wanted. Consider me a partially fulfilled man.”

It was brief, but Erix’s gaze wandered from me toward where Elinor was dancing, the Nephilim she now spun with smiling brightly. Their whoops of enjoyment were a blessed song, far more potent than the one the band of musicians made with instruments of wood.

“Only partially?” I retorted, aware I was treading on uneven ground. “It sounds like there is still more you want, if you aren’t entirely satisfied.”

“Well, that would depend,” Erix withdrew his eyes from Elinor Oakstorm, back to me. “There are others who have plans for me.”

All this time, and I hadn’t asked Erix what Elinor wanted to speak with him about. “Is home calling for you again?”

Home. The Oakstorm Court.

“It is.”

“And do you want to go?”

Erix settled his eyes back on me, and I felt the force like a blow to the soul. “I have explained to Elinor that I will need time to think over heroffer. Until then, you are my focus.” A flash of sadness passed over him, darkening his eyes to grey storm clouds. “What do you want, little bird, when this is all over?”

“Don’t divert the conversation. I asked you first.”

“And I answered.” Erix swung me around, dizzying my mind.

“That isn’t good enough.”

“Sometimes in life we do not always get what we want. But there is a beauty in giving up on one’s deepest desires, if you know it is for a good reason. Is that good enough?”

His answer was as sharp as a two-sided blade. Simultaneously, he answered my initial question, and my response to him refusing me a complete answer, all in one.

It was my turn to answer. “I want Duncan to be well again, but more than that I want him to thrive in life. His upbringing was… tortured. His adulthood has hardly been any better. I wish for him to experience life where nothing but love surrounds him, because that is what he deserves.” I choked so suddenly, balking on the tears that ached at the back of my throat. Swallowing them down, I managed to continue. “And I want you to find another purpose in life. Something that will be your duty, and your pleasure, considering those are your favourite two words.”

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