Page 99 of A Game of Monsters

There was so much I needed to say, and yet I couldn’t get the words out. Instead, I turned on my heel and marched away from Rafaela. If not, the magic that drummed in my bones would’ve broken free.

I found myself back outside the door to my and Duncan’s cabin when I heard voices from within. As soon as the dulcet tones of the two men I loved sounded past the thin wooden door, I found all my emotions from my conversation with Rafaela dissipated.

Leaning my ear against the door, I fought to still my beating heart just enough to hear what was being said.

“I want nothing more than for you to be happy,” Erix said, voice soft yet firm. “Before I make my decision on what happens next, I need to hear it from your own tongue that this is whatyouwant.”

My palm pressed against the door, wishing to push it open, and yet I didn’t want to interrupt this.

A broken, weak voice rose up and replied. “Erix, this will only ever work if we each equally desire this. Love comes in many forms. My love for Robin is vast, as I know yours is the same for him. But my love for you… comes from knowing that you hold those very same feelings that I do. Robin, he is our everything and for that you are my everything, and I know the feeling is the same. I see it in your eyes, but most notably Duwar saw it in your soul. Answer me this… please.” Duncan must’ve paused, because for the next few seconds I heard the rasp of his strained breathing.

“Take your time,” Erix whispered, his encouragement palpable even through the wood between us.

“Will the first step forwards together be harder than the one it would take to walk away?”

It was my turn to hold my breath, waiting on tenterhooks for Erix’s answer. When it came, I found myself smiling.

“No, it would be easier to move forwards. I know that.”

“Your hesitation is beautiful, Erix. It shows that you have time to contemplate and come to your own decision. This… this door that has opened for the three of us will only stay open if we are all, equally, on the same page.”

“If it closed, I would kick it down,” Erix replied, voice dropping to a faint whisper. “That I know.”

At that I pushed the door open to find both men looking up toward me. They must’ve noticed my smile, because both returned it, Duncan’s fainter than Erix’s due to his exhaustion.

“Little bird,” Erix stood from his seat on the edge of Duncan’s bed, his hand gathering away from Duncan’s which was laid out and stretched across the sheets toward were Erix sat. “I didn’t expect you so soon. Are you okay?”

I shook my head, because lying was not how I was going to start this. “No, but I will be, once we reach Irobel, I hope.”

Erix looked beyond me to the dark and quiet corridor. “It is late, I should–”

“Weshould rest,” I said, gesturing toward the bed. “All of us need it.”

Duncan leaned back on the pillow, face pale and eyes closed. His voice was quiet as it rose from the mounds of bedsheets. “I cannot argue with that, darling.”

I kicked off my boots and paced toward the bed. Erix watched my every move. “You need to sleep too, Erix.”

“Are you sure?” he asked as I climbed onto the bed, pressing myself into Duncan’s left side.

I patted the space at my side.

“I am,” I replied, guiding Erix with my eyes to the other side of Duncan. “But only if you are?”

His actions answered for him. Erix followed suit, moving to the right side of Duncan and climbing onto the bed. Whereas I lay on my side, facing them both, Erix put two arms behind his head and looked toward the ceiling.

This felt… easy. The three of us, connected in different and yet powerful ways. I could’ve said something more to Erix, but the peaceful quiet was exactly what I needed. Instead, we shared a final look, a soft smile and a silent promise that tomorrow would be full of answers.

“I don’t want to choose,” I admitted, voice a small whisper.

“Then don’t,” Duncan said, fingers tickling my side. “Why choose anything, when you all know what outcome we want.”

I spared a glance to Erix, whose lip quirked upwards at the corner. He noticed me looking and rolled onto his side until he faced me.

“Why choose,” Erix repeated, toying with the words in his mouth.

No one spoke again. With Duncan between us we slept soundlessly, giving into the sense of peace that I’d not felt in days.

Until a shattering noise broke my reality apart.

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