Page 78 of Summer Romance

I try again. “I thought it would be too painful to say goodbye to you. And I was right, by the way. I can’t do it.” I want to tell him I’ve changed my mind about the dog thing, but I’m sick of talking in circles. I take a breath and just say it. “I love you.”

He turns to me, finally, and I go on. “I know that’s a big thing to say, but I do. Can we just have more time? I can’t handle the idea that this is over. I’m not going to feel this way again.”

There are tears in his eyes. He pulls me into his arms and I rest my head on that spot on his chest where I could stay forever. It would be nice if he said he loves me too. My words are just hanging there, but I guess that’s okay. Not everything balances.

I pull away because I might as well say the thing. “I think what I wanted to say to you, besides that, is that I think you’d be the most important part of any community you lived in. I don’t think you’d lose yourself if you left Devon. You are so strong and sure that you make other people strong too. I’m not saying move here, I’m just saying you’re loved here too. And if moving is impossible, then that’s fine too. I could drive to Devon every week. I would totally do that.”

“Ali,” he says. He takes both of my hands. The shock of the feel of his hands in mine temporarily removes me from this conversation. Yes, I just told him I loved him. But God, do his hands feel good. “I’m staying here, in Beechwood.”

“No, you can’t do that,” I say. I’m looking right into hiseyes and I know for sure that no one, including me, tells Ethan what he can or cannot do.

“Don’t make me say the whole architect thing.” He pulls me closer. “I made kind of a big decision. You might not actually like it. I don’t know. I did it for myself, but also hopefully for us.”

I don’t say anything. I’m mesmerized by the word “us.”

“I gave the house away. I donated it to the city.”

I come to. “What?”

“I was wandering around Devon trying to get it to feel like home again, trying to get back to being the person I was before you. And it just felt empty. I moved there because it felt good. I realized that what felt good there was that it was a place where I could belong. But that’s not enough anymore. I belong with you.”

My heart stops and I don’t even blink. I want to make sure I heard him right. “Really?” I wrap my arms around his neck.

“Really,” he says. He kisses me, and the salty taste of him is my first clue that I’m crying. Relief washes over me, just being this close to him. He rests his forehead on mine and wipes my tears with his thumbs. I have this funny feeling that neither of us has the upper hand; I can feel both of our hearts reaching out for one another.

“But what about everyone in Devon?”

“That’s sort of complicated. I mean, Barb can find a guy to change her alarm batteries, and I can do legal work remotely, but the kids at the skate park still need me. They’ve got my number, and I’m going to go back to Devon once aweek. But I’m also setting up my parents’ house as a place for kids to come when they’ve aged out of the system. Michael and Louie are the first two who are coming down. I have a social worker involved, and Frannie’s going to give them temporary work at the diner. We always need people at the inn in the summer.”

“Frannie knows this?”

“Yes, she’s been very cool the past few days, actually, and she’s been begging me to tell you, but it wasn’t settled until this morning. And I wasn’t sure what you’d think.”

“It’s an amazing thing to do.”

“And, honestly, Ali, it’s not like no one needs me here. I’ve been coming back here like a teenager, sort of regressing to what they expect of me. But my parents do need help, with the inn and everything. Theo needs me; you know they’re never going to let that kid learn to walk.”

“True.” I laugh. “And you thought I wasn’t going to like this?” I run my hands over the sleeves of his crisp white shirt.

“Well, maybe. You love that house. Maybe you pictured a different kind of future. But it feels right. And all the rest of it, I can figure out.” He smiles at me, and I feel like I want to spend the rest of my life in that smile.

“You are honestly the best person I’ve ever met.” I wrap my arms around his neck.

“I doubt that. But I love you, Ali, like in a way that’s so intense I don’t think I could even explain it to you. So I’m staying.” He kisses me again, more deeply, and I feel myself melt into him in that way I never thought I would again. “Ilove you,” he says into my mouth. “I love you so much, Ali.” In the irony of my lifetime, everything I have ever yearned for has materialized on the widow’s walk.

Ethan cups my face in his hands and presses his forehead to mine. “No more goodbyes, okay?” I nod and kiss him again. It’s a promise. The wind picks up out of nowhere and I feel the breeze skim my cheek. A flash of red catches the corner of my eye as the flag waves at us.This sparkles for sure, she says.

The sun is getting low over the town behind us, but I don’t want to turn away from him to watch it set. I want to stay in his arms, where I am somehow completely protected and completely free. The impossible thing. “Where are you going to live?” I ask into his neck.

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll stay at the house for a bit. Just to make sure things get off to a good start. I’ll find a place, and in the meantime I can always stay here, at the inn.” He looks around. “We should get some furniture up here, just for us. I’m the only person in the world with a key. I found it in my dad’s office.”

“I can’t believe you did this.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t think of it. Weren’t you the valedictorian?”

“I never in a million years thought someone would completely change their life for me.”

“I never in a million years thought I’d want to.” He kisses me again, and I want to stay here forever.

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