Page 19 of It's a Love Story

I leaned back in my chair. I was clenching my peanut M&M’s so hard that I could feel them melt against my palms.

“Is this the one where they’re old and then not old?” Nathan asked. “I found it confusing.”

“It’s the worst,” I said.

“How could you say that?” Dan replied. “It’s romantic and true and perfect. But this, and I’m sorry, Jane, it makes me feel absolutely nothing. I mean, Harry and Sally—pretty sure the names have been done, by the way.” And he rolled his eyes at Nathan. “They just meet and hook up because they’re in the same place? It’s not interesting.”

“Well, people don’t paddle around on a lake full of swans either. Did you know they had to raise those swans in that marsh or whatever just to get them to stay? That whole movie is just a big fake.” I was sweating by then. I could feel heat moving from my chest to my face. “Can we maybe get off this topic? Though I do feel so much more enlightened having had you mansplainThe Notebookto me this morning.” I turned to Nathan, giving him his cue to ask Dan to leave so we could move on.

Nathan sat with his arms crossed, nodding. “Amy, what do you think of it?”

“I agree it’s notThe Notebook,” she said, and I suspected she hadn’t read it. She had that no-eye-contact energy of a kid who’s been called on in class and didn’t do the homework.

Nathan sighed. “Okay, I read this pretty quick, mainly because it was so cheap. Let me read it again and decide.”

“Fine,” I said, getting up from the table and looking at Dan. “So nice to see you again. Let’s consider our later appointment canceled.” I gave him a tight smile, my mean smile that I normally reserve for the third postal worker at the Brentwood post office. She vacillates between annoyance that I don’t use enough tape on my packages and exasperation that I use too much tape on my packages, and I stand there with my murder smile until she has corrected the situation and handed me the receipt, pointing out that I should fill out a survey at the bottom. “Oh, I will,” I tell her every time and never do.

I took the stairs down to my office because I didn’t want to have to stand there and wait for the elevator. My heart was beating with rage and my hands were sweating, like I was about to turn into the Hulk. I got to my office and steadied myself on my desk. This was my big break. The studio gave me actual money to buy a script and run a project. I was finally going to step into my life, shoulders back, maybe in a pantsuit, maybe in a dress. I hadn’t worked out the details.

“I’m sorry,” I heard him say, standing at my office door, and I thought, not for the first time, that security around here is really for shit and where the heck was Mandy.

I turned around. “Sorry? Seriously?” He was leaning on the doorjamb, and he did look sorry.

“I need the work, for sure,” he said, “but I cannot make that movie. And I might have, because I really do need the work.”

“You’ve said.”

“But I can’t let you make it. I mean, you know it’s crap.”

“Where’d you learn to apologize? This is really moving.”

“You’ve got this studio in your corner, you could make anything. You could put a real love story out into the world. Making that movie would be like building another strip mall. It’s fake love.”

“Oh, and you’re an expert on love too. How many love stories have you filmed?”

“Same as you. None.” He meant this as a barb.

“Ah, then I guess neither of us is an expert, so neither of us knows how that movie was going to turn out. Before you killed it.” My hands were balled up by my sides, and I forced myself to open them and place them on my hips because I was afraid I looked like a little kid having a tantrum. “Arrogant,” I said to my feet, all in one breath.

“What was that?” he asked. He took a step into my office, not in a threatening way but like he wanted to hear me more clearly.

“Arrogant,” I said again. “You’re arrogant. I should have known, the way you crossed the street like everyone should come to a screeching halt for you. I bet you use organic shaving cream that squeezes out of some kind of weird bamboo packaging. I bet you understand Jackson Pollock and make sure everyone knows.” He was looking at me like I was very close to going completely off the rails. It’s possible that he smirked. Whatever it was, it made me feel like he was about to laugh at me, and let me tell you that was not something I was going to be able to deal with on that particular day, so I said it: “I bet you went to Brown.”

He just looked at me. It was almost like he was seeing me for the first time. I stared back, waiting with my hands in fists again like a toddler. “Well,” he said. “Again. I’m sorry.” He put his hands up in mock surrender. “When I met you on the street, I didn’t realize. You’re completely insane.”

“Am not,” I said to solidify my role here as a toddler.

“Are too?” he said and actually laughed. “I’m thinking we call our date off? I’m just going to grab a quick organic shave and meet up with some of my Ivy League buddies instead, if that’s cool.”

“You’re not even my type.” I said it like it was a machine gun full of expletives. This spectacular disaster is why you don’t give your number to some random guy on the street.

“Well, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, crazy lady.” With hands up to shield himself from more of my violent words, he backed out of the room.

CHAPTER 10

I T’S HOT IN NEW YORK. I MEAN, IT’S HOT IN LOSANGELEStoo, but here it’s a thicker, wetter kind of hot. My hair is drinking it up and preparing to explode. I am regretting my j eans-and-sneakers travel look. Standing outside the terminal at JFK with Dan, I wonder if he’s regretting the flannel. There’s no small talk as we wait, and I really appreciate that. I pull my hair into a ponytail. He takes off his flannel and shoves it in his bag. His jeans are Levi’s—I can tell by the denim—and his white T-shirt is from a pack of three that you get at Target. My jeans are also Levi’s, but my white T-shirt was expensive. Something about this makes me feel dumb.

A green Subaru pulls up, and a man who could be Dan’s twin gets out. He has the same black hair and the same rectangular blue eyes. They fall into a long hug, and I see that they are the exact same height.

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