Page 25 of It's a Love Story

I lock the door and change into my pajamas. If I’d known I’d be sharing a room, I’d have brought a full-length pajama set, maybe the crisp blue ones that feel like a man’s shirt. They’re practically business pajamas and would have been perfect for this trip. Instead I grabbed the short pink set that my mom gave me for Valentine’s Day. The top has little conversation hearts for buttons, and “Hug Me” in this setting feels all wrong.

When my teeth are brushed and I’m under the covers, I text my mom: Arrived safely, sorry I forgot to text. Love you!

She does not reply, which is fine but odd. She’s in Santa Barbara, not on the moon.

I close my eyes and try to picture Dan, Aidan, and Connor watchingPop Rockson that little TV. I imagine them all lusting after Hailey and laughing at our carefully scripted predicaments. It’s no wonder Hailey’s still on top; she grew up believing that’s where she belonged. I used to spend a lot of time imagining what that would feel like, walking around in her skin and feeling the power of that adoration. I used to read her lines into the mirror at home, trying to channel my inner Hailey. “Oh, as if I’d ever be caught dead at that party,” I’d say with a hair toss.

I am a witch and I’ve conjured her, because my phone dings with a text. Hailey: Any luck tracking Jack down? The idea of us seeing him again is hilarious

Above this text is our conversation where she told me to contact Angelica. Above that is Happy birthday!, followed by Thank you! over and over again. Years of it. It’s crazy that Jack’s rise from the ashes has us talking twice in a week.

Me: Not yet.

Hailey: I hope you find him. I hope this album hasn’t turned him into a dick, he was such a sweet guy

Barf, no. Me: Yeah, the sweetest

I call Clem and get her at her shift at the bar. “Sorry,” I say. “This was a crazy time to call.”

“Cover for me for five minutes?” she says to someone. I hear a door open and close, and it’s the kindest silence. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing really. I mean, I’m in Dan’s childhood bedroom and his brothers immediately recognized me as Janey Jakes and Hailey texted and I feel like I’m being dragged back in time.”

“That’s got to be weird. Are they all hot?”

“All of them.”

“Married?”

“All but the oldest, Brian. And Dan.”

“Interesting.”

“Not interesting. I don’t know why I’m calling. I just needed a little courage.”

“You’re going to see Jack, and you’re just going to be easy, jokey Actual Jane. Repeat after me: ‘Nice sideburns, Elvis.’”

“Come on.” Jack does sport a ridiculous set of pork- chop sideburns these days.

“You can’t seem nervous if you’re busting on him. Say it.”

“Nice sideburns, Elvis.” I’m not as convincing as she was, but I do feel a little more confident.

When we’ve hung up, I pull the quilt over my head and open Instagram before I can really think it through. I find Jack and send him a message: Hey it’s Jane Jackson from Jump-Start Love Song. Remember that? Ha! I’m in Long Island for the music festival and wanted to talk with you quickly about a movie I’m making with Clearwater Studios. Let me know if you have time to talk.

I delete “if” and replace it with “when.” That’s what decision-makers do.

Send.

I pull down the covers and look around the room, half expecting someone to say,What have you done?

CHAPTER 12

IWAKE UP AT SIX, WHICH IS THREE AM. IN LA. I SHOULDbe tired, but that first adrenal rush of waking up and not knowing where I am has me overly alert. The sun is up but barely, which is the best part of the day. My mom texted in the middle of the night: Great, have fun!

I check my Instagram, and there is a reply from Jack: Thanks for reaching out. If you are interested in upcoming tour information, please visit my website.

There is nothing less satisfying than a reply from a bot. It took all of my courage to send a message he’ll never see. In the story of Jack and me, this tracks.

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