Page 38 of It's a Love Story

“It was a secret. I signed an NDA. No one would care now, but keep it to yourself. At the time it was a big deal. The studio was worried we’d have a whole scandal on our hands.” This is the time for me to tell him about Jack. And I almost do. It’s a natural segue:Jack sang Will’s part, actually.But I like the way I’m feeling right now. I like the way Dan listens and responds like I’m the main character in this story. I don’t want to let him see whatever my face would do if I told the Jack story. I don’t want him to see all my embarrassing parts.

“Why didn’t they just put you up-front and let it be your song?”

“Because I was Janey Jakes.” I think of the moment I looked in the mirror and thought Jane Jackson might be different from Janey Jakes, a person worth looking at. I remember catching Angelica’s eye and knowing I was right. That feeling flutters inside me as Dan holds my gaze. I want to grab onto it and make it true. “They’d gone to a lot of trouble to geek me up.”

“This is insane.” He runs his hands through his hair and shakes his head.

“Hailey couldn’t really sing the song. She could sing, but she couldn’t hit the high notes. But she was the one you guys were lusting after, so they wanted it to come from her.”

“I feel totally duped.”

“Well, it worked, two top forty hits.”

“Two?”

“I sang ‘Can’t Find My You’ too.”

“Okay, this is madness! Were you paid extra at least?”

“Yes. And I got royalties from both songs until people stopped listening. I put myself through college and own a house in LA.”

He leans forward with his forearms on his knees, and the space between us is impossibly small. There’s a fizzy little energy between us that is not familiar to me. I’ve never felt this sort of thing before, and I want to keep him leaning in close like this so I can swim around in it for a while. He starts to lean away and I want to bring him back, so I tell him.

“Jack Quinlan sang Will’s part.”

“Oh my God. What?” Dan grips his knees. “This is just unreal.” He stands up and walks over to the TV, completely foiling my plan to keep him close. “You and Jack Quinlan had a hit song, and no one knows?”

“Well, everyone on the show knew, and now you. Clem knows. You really can’t tell anyone.” I’m sitting up in bed now, and he comes and sits by my feet.

“So you must know him well?”

“I knew him for twenty-four hours and that was it.” Dan’s just sitting there, not nearly close enough, looking at me.

Dan shakes his head. “You pretend not to be funny and you pretend not to be a recording star. What else are you hiding?”

“I’m currently trying to hide how bad I am at tracking down celebrities.”And how much I wish you’d climb into this bed with me so I can smell you up close,I don’t say.

“I can’t believe that was Jack. And I can’t believe that was you.” He gets up again and lies down on top of his covers with his hands behind his head. I lie back down and turn onto my side so I can run my eyes down the length of his body from the safety of darkness. He turns his head toward me. “Maybe it was you I was lusting after all that time.”

“I doubt that very much,” I say and roll onto my back so he can’t see me smile.

We’re quiet for a while. And I think he’s gone to sleep. I am smiling at the ceiling in the dark, thinking of Dan, crammed in this room with his two brothers, dreaming of me.

CHAPTER 17

IONLY BUY ONE MUFFIN ON MY RUN WEDNESDAYmorning. I want to make Cormack’s day, but I also don’t want to start any trouble. Reenie makes waffles, and Brian and Finn and his kids show up like a dog whistle’s been blown. We eat in the kitchen with the doors open to the backyard. Aidan, Paula, and Katie pull up a love seat and share it, sort of leaning into one another out of habit. It is so intimate the way they’re sharing that seat, I have to stop myself from staring. Ruby comes and sits by me. We pass around a blue bowl full of strawberries and a glass bowl full of whipped cream. Words fly across the table—plans for the day’s work, plans for the party. Under the noise, Dan and I sit side by side. He puts a spoonful of whipped cream into my coffee and watches me taste it. He smiles at my reaction and hands me his napkin to wipe the whipped cream from my mouth.

“What are you two doing today?” Reenie asks.

“Stalking a pop star,” Dan says.

“It’s not stalking if we never actually know where he is,” I say and put a little more whipped cream in my coffee.

“And the plan is you’re going to introduce yourself and ask him to write a song for your movie?” Cormack asks.

“Well, yes,” I say.

“Is it that good of a movie?” he asks.

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