Page 46 of It's a Love Story

He hugs her back, more quickly than I’ve ever seen him hug anybody, but the hug takes him away from me for the first time tonight. I can feel the air next to me where he used to be. “Yeah, for the festival and my parents’ anniversary.”

“I’m coming to the party,” she says.

“Oh, great,” Dan says, catching Aidan’s eye. “This is my friend Jane from LA.” I should have a name tag that says that.

Brooke doesn’t seem like a person who shakes hands, and I do not want to hug her, so I give a little wave that probably makes me seem like a kid.

“Hi,” she says. “Fun.” She falls into conversation with the Boston couple, and Dan guides me by the elbow toward the safety of Aidan and Paula.

Eventually we gather around a long low table, and the contents of that big steel tub are laid out in front of us. Buttery lobster, corn, and potatoes have miraculously been cooked to perfection in a hand-dug hole. Paula’s brought little hurricane lamps, and the whole feast is lit up like a masterpiece. Dan sits first and pats the spot on the sand next to him. We’re cross-legged but still close to make room for everyone. We have metal camping plates, and we just grab what we want from the middle of the table. Brooke is across from Dan, one seat down, with nothing on her plate.

“Like it?” Dan asks me. He’s leaned in like it’s a secret.

“Yes,” I say and take another bite of corn. I am warm from the beer and the candlelight and the feel of Dan’s knee against mine.

“Me too,” he says. “I’m glad you came.” There’s something about the way he’s looking at me that makes me think an impossible thing:I am interesting and true and beautiful.I like this thought so much that I have to look away.

“And they’re not idiots,” I whisper into his ear. I get very close saying this and can smell him, freshly showered and like cedar and Earl Grey tea.

“I guess they grew up.”

A guy named Seth at the end of the table asks, “So, Danny, how’s showbiz?”

“Good,” he says. “Jane and I have a script we really like, so . . .” He trails off.

“What was the one you did last year?” Charlie asks.

“Grapevine,” he says and takes a bite of corn.

“Yeah, I looked for that in the theaters but couldn’t find it,” Brooke says. “But still it’s good that you had work, right?” I could not dislike her or her false concern more.

“It was a great movie,” Aidan says before Dan can respond. “Won an award at the Austin Film Festival.”

Dan raises his beer bottle to Aidan and nods.

“That’s great,” Brooke says. “I mean the award. I wish we could have seen it, like a real movie.”

“Well, maybe the next one,” Dan says.

“It was definitely a real movie,” I say. It’s the first thing I’ve said to the table and my voice comes out too strong.

Paula says, “I loved it.”

Dan doesn’t seem to care that Brooke is diminishing his work. He says, “Jane thinks it was a little small. Or quiet?”

“That’s so you,” Brooke says with a laugh.

I wipe my mouth because I’m sure there’s butter there. “It’s quiet,” I say with the total authority of a person who has seen the movie, which I haven’t. “But not small. Dan was hired by Vinny Banks, who is a legend in Hollywood. He’s in his sixties now and is super picky about the films he makes. So the whole thing was kind of a big deal. Not just the fact that Dan’s an award-winning cinematographer.” Aidan smiles at me across the table. I grab a lobster claw and busy myself with it because I feel like I’ve talked too much. I do not like seeing a person diminished. And if that person is Dan, with artistic integrity for days, it turns out I absolutely hate it. Dan’s leg presses harder against mine as the conversation continues around the table. The Boston couple has a toddler who they left with the grandparents. Charlie just bought a house in Montauk. Seth and his wife, Lucy, are starting a graphic design business together. I am reminded that we are at the phase of life where everyone is doing a thing. Brooke asks what Brian’s been up to, and Aidan shoots Dan a look.

I have now had a beer and two glasses of crisp white wine and not enough potatoes to soak them up. I can feel it in the dizzy way the conversation flows down the table. The light is hazy coming from the hurricane lamps and illuminates all the laughing faces. It’s forever before Brooke actually picks up a piece of corn and bites into it. Her eyes are on Dan and, oddly, so is my hand. My hand has moved to his shoulder. My fingers trace the seam of his white shirt, and they plan to keep it up until she peels her eyes away.

My hand has surprised him, and Dan turns to me.

“I hate her,” I whisper. “Like for real.”

Dan laughs and leans his head toward me a bit. My smile is so tipsy wide that it could break my face. “You’re getting under her skin too, I think.”

“Because she’s still in love with you and thinks we’re together?” I’m whispering because we shouldn’t be talking about this, but also because the softer my voice, the closer he has to lean into me to hear.

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