Page 21 of Until My Last Breath

Under his saddened gaze, she carefully took the seat beside him, gently taking his cold hand. Between tears, she brought it to her lips and kissed it, holding it against her wet cheek. “Please, forgive me,” she said at last. “I have been so blind and unfair. I accused you of things I am so ashamed of I cannot even repeat. I have misjudged you and treated you shamefully. You were right… about everything. Can you ever forgive me?”

All of Darcy’s discomfort suddenly lifted away. Could it be that she was not as indifferent to him as she had wanted him to believe? He could have sworn on his life that he had seen regard for him in her eyes.

A small spark of hope warmed his heart.

Then Darcy understood.

He had been right about her feelings for him. But in his desperate need to convince himself of the unsuitability of her family andcircumstances, he had buried his happiness with his bare hands. He had not needed Wickham or Bingley’s help for it. He had done that himself.

Was it really necessary for him to be shot to see this truth?

Darcy looked down at her again, her shoulders moving as she sobbed. He could feel the moistness of her tears in his palm and his heart filled with tenderness for the young woman beside him.

They were both so stubborn.

Oh, God help them.

If he was going to die, at least he would leave this world with the woman he loved in his arms.

Hang the discomfort and the pain. Placing his finger under her chin, he raised her face. Her beautiful eyes were puffed and red, still filled with unshed tears. His thumb caressed her wet face. “There is nothing to forgive, Elizabeth. I have been a fool.” He slid his hand to her back, bringing her into his embrace. She gently nestled in his chest, as he placed kisses on her hair.

“How can you even say you still love me after what I have said?” she mumbled against his chest.

He thanked God for this opportunity, and, by heavens, he would not waste it. “I love you in a way I never thought possible, and that scared me. I love when we talk. I love our discussions and even our disagreements.” He grimaced as the frenetic movements of the carriage shook them from one side to another. “You saw the man behind the façade, and that made me defenceless against you, my dearest Elizabeth. You are intelligent, kind, and generous. I love everything about you… your beautiful hair, your bright eyes, your lips… but I adore your freckles. God knows how difficult it has been to not kiss every single one of them.”

Elizabeth giggled at his declaration, and suddenly all her pain and guilt were forgotten.

How foolish she had been.

But her newfound happiness was short lived. Looking up at him she saw small drops of perspiration forming over the stubble on his upper lip.

“Oh, sir. You must be in so much pain,” she said reaching for a bag. “I shall give you some laudanum. It would do you good to have a little.”

With his eyes still closed, Darcy shook his head. He could not be any more defenceless than he already was.

“It is not like any of us can fight against those miscreants when they have guns,” said Elizabeth, as if reading his thoughts. “Please, it would make me feel better to know you are not in so much pain. You need to rest to recover your strength. You have lost too much blood.”

Darcy sighed, feeling very queasy, and then nodded, but not before indignation brought a bitter taste to his mouth.

Elizabeth reached for the bottle of laudanum, looking around. “Usually, we need to dilute it with some water or tea, but we do not have a cup.” She paused, thinking, then took a piece of bread and wetted it with some drops of the laudanum.

As Darcy was still keeping his eyes closed, Elizabeth put the piece of bread in his hand and raised it to his mouth. “Please eat it. It will taste quite bitter, but this is the only way for you to have it.”

Darcy ate the piece of bread and almost emptied the contents of his stomach — had he eaten anything that morning. Elizabeth offered him some water, which he gladly accepted, followed by another piece of bread, this time plain.

“Thank you,” he said between forced gasps. “How did you know how much I needed? Have you already had another patient?”

Elizabeth smiled at his attempt of levity. “My father broke a leg some years ago. An accident with one of the horses. He had to stay in bed for two months, but the first couple of weeks were the worst. The apothecary taught me how to add a couple of drops of laudanum to his tea. This not only helped my father to cope with his pain, but also assisted us to cope with his bad temper. Papa can be quite unpleasant when frustrated.”

She thought about her family. Was she ever going to see them again?

Darcy leaned back, also thinking about his family, and Georgiana.

A sombre thought passed through his mind.

“Elizabeth, there is a letter in my coat pocket. Would you please read it? I spent last night writing it, trying to explain everything.”

She looked surprised but reached for his pocket and found the letter she had seen before. As she broke the seal, a neat and elegant handwriting appeared before her eyes.

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