Page 49 of Until My Last Breath

If only he could come back to them.

When Lady Madeleine had heard Georgiana’s voice, she excused herself from Jane and went to see how Darcy was faring.

Some minutes later, both ladies returned with divided hearts. On the one hand, Darcy being strong enough to raise his voice and express his anger was a good sign; on the other, they were all very sorry to have him informed that the rescue attempt did not end as planned. A moment later, his cries were heard throughout the entire house. Nobody knew what to do. Even the servants were working with their gazes down.

Lord Matlock entered the drawing room and shook his head. “I am sure you all heard… I believe it is better to give Darcy a couple of hours to recover. Remember, Dr Alden said he would probably react badly once awakened.”

He pulled a bell and instructed his butler to take a pot of very strong coffee, together with toasts and jam, to his nephew and not to disturb him after that. Perhaps one of his favourite repasts could bring him some comfort.

About an hour later, a very embarrassed Darcy dragged himself into the drawing room and was immediately helped to take a seat. His puffed eyes were still focused on the floor when he addressed those in the room. “First of all, I want to apologise for my…” — he took a deep breath, still trying to control his rage against Wickham — “…shameful behaviour. If Dr Alden informed you about what took place in these last few days as my uncle has told me, you must know I was expecting to find not just Richard, but also Miss Elizabeth by my side when I woke up.”

Jane and Georgiana exchanged glances.

Lady Madeleine sat beside Darcy and took his hand. “Oh, my darling. He warned us about the difficult recovery from the laudanum but did not offer any further detail. What happened between you and Miss Elizabeth?”

Darcy raised his sad eyes to his aunt. “I love her, Aunt, and I haveasked her to marry me… And I have failed her.”

The compassion he found in his aunt’s eyes gave him courage to tell them what had happened between him and Elizabeth in that last week. Then he turned to Jane, needing to justify his feelings for Elizabeth. “We clarified our misunderstandings. I have begged her to forgive me. She did the same while confessing her bitterness towards me. It is all clear now. The days of sadness are behind us — if only I can find her again. Your sister is the most kind and courageous person I have ever known. She looked after me when I was wounded and feverish in bed. She comforted me when I had lost all hope of seeing Georgiana…” — he paused, looking at his sister, then to his aunt and uncle — “…or my family ever again.”

Darcy’s words brought fresh tears to Jane’s eyes.

Silence filled the room.

“Miss Bennet, would you mind getting me a cup of coffee?” Darcy asked.

Confused by his request, Jane stood up and went to the side cabinet where a tray with coffee and tea was set. She almost dropped the cup, when she turned and found Mr Darcy just behind her.

“I am sorry, Miss Bennet, but what I have to say is not for the ears of my family.”

He took the cup from her hands and after sipping it, he gave her a weak smile.

“Elizabeth told me how you like your coffee, sir,” Jane explained, noticing his surprise. “As you can see, she had noticed you much before you have imagined.”

“Yes, she did,” he said frowning and looking at his cup.

Oh, my sweet Elizabeth.

Darcy felt a pang of regret for having judged her and her family so harshly. “Miss Bennet, do you think you can forgive me? I have behaved in a most shameful way towards you and your family. Elizabeth told me of your… disappointment with Bingley’s departure. I am sorry I did not try—”

“Mr Darcy, please.” Jane interrupted him, her cheeks turning into a deep hue of pink for discussing such personal matters. “I cannot allow youto take the blame. I believe Mr Bingley is his own man and there was no point in pressing him into a situation that… was not in his heart.” She paused, then smiled shyly. “But I forgive you. I cannot keep anything against someone who has saved my sister’s life.”

“Thank you, Miss Bennet, but Elizabeth is far from safe,” Darcy said quietly.

For some time, they were lost in sad thoughts.

“Your cousin will bring her back. He promised me that.”

Darcy was surprised by her sudden change. “Do you trust my cousin’s words to that extent, Miss Bennet? Do you really believe he can bring Elizabeth back?”

“Yes, I do. He promised he would return, and he cannot do that without her. So, you see, he needs to find her and bring her back with him,” she said full of hope.

Darcy looked at Miss Bennet with a renewed interest. For the first time, he noticed her eyes were as green as the hills in Derbyshire in spring and had the same liveliness as those of Elizabeth…

He scowled, feeling his chest tighten. What if he were never to see those sparkling eyes again?

Returning the cup to Jane, he excused himself from the room, walking out to the gardens at the back of the house.

The fresh breeze welcomed him, and he breathed more easily. He walked further into the garden and rested his forehead against the cold stone wall, closing his eyes. What in heaven’s name was he to do? His wound was still throbbing, but the pain in his heart was the one consuming him.

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