Page 19 of Cross Her Heart

16

AVA

‘Thank God it’s all over!’ Ange says as we slam our cubicle doors. We’ve beaten the rush out of the sports hall at the end of the exam, everyone else still squealing at each other about what was good and what was bad.

Ange’s happy sigh is accompanied by the sound of her urgent piss hitting the toilet bowl. She has no inhibitions. She’ll walk naked around the changing rooms after swimming while the rest of us try to pull our clothes on under damp towels.

‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘Thank fuck.’ I’m not really listening. I’m staring down at my clean knickers. I was sure,sure, I’d felt the first twinge of my period an hour ago. What is it? A week or so late now? I wish I kept a better track, but who does? Periods justare. They turn up. It’s what they do. For the first time this week I’m not exactly worried about it, but I’d feel better if it came. I force out a half-hearted wee I don’t need and then check again as I wipe, willing the paper to be streaked with blood. It’s not.

Outside, doors bang and more girls turn up and so I flush and escape to the sinks. Ange is already there, plumping up her full lips with shiny gloss and my phone pings a couple of times as I turn it back on. Courtney and Mum. I tell Courtney we’ll be out tonight and then I open the text from Mum.

‘The cash machine is paying up,’ I say as I scan through the message. I feel mean calling Mum that, but Ange came up with the nickname for her back at the start of Year Ten, and it kind of stuck. ‘I told you she would. Plenty for tonight and the festival tomorrow.’

‘Is Courtney around tonight?’ Ange isn’t using her stupid faux American accent, but the question does sound as if she’s bored, which means she’s curious. I wonder if Ange slightly fancies him herself. She’s the one who asks the most.

‘Yeah, I figure we can all meet up, maybe.’ I don’t mind the idea of seeing Courtney. We can celebrate together and I can plead the period I don’t have if he tries anything too heavy. I do miss him a bit, weirdly. Not inthatway, but it was fun when we were all hanging around together at the start. Having the boys there breaks up our intensity. Our Fabulous Four-ness.MyBitches.

Plus, Courtney isn’t such an issue now. He’s simply a distraction to fill in the days until I meethim. A little over a week to go. One week. I can’t believe it.

My period better bloody come before then.

17

MARILYN

‘So, how was your day?’ Richard asks, flicking through the channels, no doubt looking for sport or some home repair show to fill the time before bed. I don’t mind what he chooses, to be honest. All I want is to eat my dinner, maybe have a long hot bath, quickly check in on how Lisa’s evening went, and then bed.

‘You know, the same as usual. Still getting the new girls up to speed.’ We’ve slumped on the sofa with plates of frozen lasagne and oven chips with a smattering of peas as an attempt to make it look like a balanced diet. I worked through lunch so me and Lisa could leave early to get her a new dress, and I’m starving. I have a sudden pang of envy at Lisa’s evening. A beautiful restaurant. Charming company. A new dress. New beginnings. It’s only a gentle envy. I can’t be jealous of this. I’m getting joy from her joy. It’s about time she dated, although a little part of me is worried he’ll whisk her away and then what will I do? You don’t make new best friends in your forties. I don’t think I could. Especially not now.

I scoop up a forkful of lasagne and it’s surprisingly good and I didn’t have to get all dressed up for it either. There are small pleasures to be found in sofa living.

‘You said you were going to make a curry.’ Richard is looking at his plate as if I’ve stuck a steaming dog turd on it and for a moment I want to shout,Oh just fucking eat it, but I don’t. I’m shattered and it’s not worth it. Anything for an easy life.

‘You like lasagne better. And I thought maybe we could go for a curry or something after the River Festival tomorrow if you fancy it? Ask Lisa along? They’ve got a banquet-night offer on at the Bekash in the high street. Ridiculously cheap.’ I smile at him. ‘We may need it after beer in the fresh air.’

He doesn’t smile back but picks at a chip. ‘I was driving through town this afternoon. Went to get some supplies for the outside office I’m doing for the Grange couple,’ he says. ‘I saw you and Lisa. Pretty sure it was you. Going into that underwear shop.’

My heart sinks. For a start, I know the Grange job was cancelled. They decided they couldn’t afford it. He’s forgotten he told me.

‘Oh yes.’ Only room for one liar on this couch. I stare at the TV, my hunger fading. I’m too tired for this tonight. His moods. ‘She’s going out for dinner with that client. You know, the one I told you about. The one who likes her.’

‘You didn’t say they had a date.’

‘I didn’t know until today.’

He doesn’t believe me, I can tell. ‘And you thought she needed new underwear for it?’

‘It was only for fun. So she’d feel sexy.’

He laughs. ‘What, if she’s dressed like a slut, she’ll act like one?’

I flush. I can’t help it. ‘Lisa’s not a slut and you know it. She’s a nun, if anything.’

‘I didn’t sayshewas. I’ll bet it wasn’t her idea to tart herself up.’

My hunger evaporates. ‘Are you saying I am?’

His eyes scan me. ‘It would take more than new underwear to sort you out. You’ve put on weight. Too much wine and crap food with the wankers you work with probably. Turning you into a fat cow. Still, at least I don’t have to worry about rich clients trying to fuckyou.’

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