Page 41 of Insomnia

“Oh, there have been a few close calls along the way, but you know what the law is like. Long hours. And when I’m in a case, I’m properlyinit. I love the buzz of the game. That’s hard for someone to compete with.”

“I remember that about you. Even back then, we all knew you’d bethe one.The superstar barrister.”

“How the hell are we forty, Baby Spice?” he asks and I laugh out loud at the old nickname. Emma Bournett. Emma B. Baby Spice.

“I know. More like Granny Spice these days.”

“Still looking good.” He winks. “For an old bird. And I’m glad you called me, because I’d have been very annoyed to find you up for murder and someone else getting the gig.”

I like that he finds the idea so ridiculous that he can joke about it, but my smile still falters and he sees it.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I know it’s not funny. I can be a dick sometimes.”

“No, it’s nice to have someone on my side.” We’re just coming into the village, and I gaze out at the peaceful quiet as I speak. “I didn’t love my mother, that’s for sure. She scared me as a child, and the memory of her scares me as an adult. But I didn’t kill her.” A thought that’s been niggling at me comes to the fore. “Why did you say that stuff about Phoebe?”

“Just making the point that they were being lazy.” He looks up at the road. “You’ll have to direct me from here.”

I point at the crossroads. “There’s fine. The fresh air will do me good and I need to move or my whole body is going to seize up.”

“Are you sure?”

I nod and he pulls up to the curb. “When I’ve seen the footage from the car park, I’ll let you know. And call me whenever.” He pauses. “It’s good to see you again. It really is.”

“Although next time,” I say, “let’s catch up in a bar, not a police station. Deal?”

“Deal,” he answers, and then his hands-free kicks in and the nameVeroniquecomes up on the dash. I can tell from his awkward expression that this isn’t a work call, and I’m surprised by the pang in the pit of my stomach. Of course he has someone. No doubt a gorgeous, stylish intelligent thirty-year-old.

I get out of the car feeling foolish for having a nanosecond flutter of longing for a life I could have had. I close the door, waving goodbye, and I keep my smile fixed on until he’s driven off, and then my shoulders slump as much as they can with the whiplash and bruising as I start the walk home.

33.

I let myself in quietly, slipping off my shoes as soon as I’m inside. There’s post on the hall table, bills mainly, I think. They can wait. Underneath those envelopes I see some photocopied paper is poking out. The details of the bar Robert wants to invest in. That can wait too. He can’t use any of our savings without both our signatures, so he can’t invest in it without my agreement. And I can’t see that happening with the way things stand.

I head to the kitchen, my feet silent on the wooden floors, and then come to a sudden standstill. My husband and my sister are hugging each other tightly by the breakfast bar. They obviously haven’t heard me come in.

“This is cozy,” I say. Phoebe breaks away and immediately comes to hug me, so out of character for her, and I yelp in pain from my bruises.

“I’m sorry for the things I said. I was... I don’t know. Concerned.”

“I’m sorry I slapped you,” I answer, awkward. “It was a terrible thing to do.” And Iamsorry. I’m too tired to be anything but sorry and it was an awful thing to do.

“Robert called me,” she says. “He was worried. We’re both worried.”

We.I stiffen and pull back. Is her rare hug a distraction from the two of them?

“Where’s Chloe?” I ask, and the atmosphere shifts again among us three, the two adults who are supposed to love me most now uncomfortable, and my irritation at their closeness too obvious.

“Upstairs asleep.” Robert steps forward. “The shock of the accident.”

I get one of his beers from the fridge, open it, and take a long slug. “Don’t worry, Darcy’s dealing with the police. He can prove that I didn’t do it.” Will that give Robert a pang of jealousy? Or has he forgotten that time when our relationship was so fractured that we nearly broke off in different directions?

As I turn back, I catch a glance between him and Phoebe. Something furtive that makes my skin prickle. It seems they have discussed the potential for my guilt and aren’t as sure as Darcy that I didn’t do it.

“I should go.” Phoebe grabs her bag. “Let you get some rest.”

I say nothing and Robert goes to see her off. There’s paper and poster paints on the kitchen table, Will’s efforts spread across it to dry. Art. That will be Phoebe’s doing. Maybe if she learned to be less uptight her own paintings would have more soul. I look at the pictures. A boat on the sea. Better than I could get out of Will. For someone who’s spent so long away, Phoebe’s certainly worming her way into our family life again.

“You and Phoebe are getting on well.” We’re drinking beers at the island as I wait for the Nurofen to kick in on my aches and pains.

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