Page 30 of My Unbearable Mate

Fourteen

We’ll Get Your Bear Back to Her Full Glory

Clover

Realizing I had no idea who I was at age forty was fucking terrifying. It wasn’t so much letting go of what I thought of myself, the smartass free spirit esthetician who wore the privilege of my last name like a faux fur coat. I’d always reveled in the fact that my future was wide open, but I could do that because I had a sturdy safety net.

I was still a smartass, and I could give a facial with the absolute best of them, but as I sat here in my backless cotton gown waiting to see Dr. Chandra Lowe, I’d never felt more naked.

After a soft knock on the door, a woman about my age walked in. Her hair was in a bun, and under her white jacket, she wore a pretty, soft floral shirt and a pair of jeans.

I’d been expecting a stuffy doctor, a much adultier adult than me, but she looked like my kind of people.

“It’s really nice to meet you,” she said. “I’m sorry to say I haven’t met all the local bear clans yet. I’ve been with the pack for almost ten years now, but I still feel like the new kid.”

“Oh, I thought you were a Sawtooth wolf,” I said. There were a lot of new names being thrown around, and it was possible I’d remembered incorrectly.

Like it mattered if she was or not. I was a Crowley and apparently I knew nothing about my clan.

“I am, but this pack has a complicated history, and my parents tried to protect me from it.” She set down her tablet and reached for her stethoscope. “I’m just going to check your vitals, do a visual exam, and ask you some questions, if that’s okay with you.”

I nodded. “I shouldn’t be nervous, but I am.”

“White coat syndrome is real, and I take that into consideration, especially the first time someone sees me.” She pressed the cool metal head of the stethoscope against my bare back. “Can you tell me the last time you shifted?”

“No, I can’t.”

The raised eyebrow was totally expected. She probably got an advanced dossier on me, thanks to Bellamy, that I was known to be difficult. Uncooperative.

How did all those qualities that I loved about myself become so negative? This magic thing was totally in my head.

“It’s been a while, but I’m honestly not sure when the last time was. Guess I didn’t know it could possibly be the last time I ever shifted.”

“We’ll get your bear back to her full glory.” Chandra sat on the stool across from me. “What can you tell me about your time in the forest with those bears? From your intake form, it seems like you could’ve suffered a concussion.”

“I don’t remember getting hit over the head, but I still don’t think I remember everything. Details are coming back to me, but there are still some big blank spots. They tied my arms and taped my mouth until their healer came for me. Now that I think back over everything, that part feels real, and after Alba came, everything is fuzzy like I’m looking at it through gauze.”

“She probably spelled you.” Chandra swiped her tablet. “Your vitals look good, but your temperature and blood pressure are both a bit low. In a healthy range, but it makes me think you could’ve been suppressed in some way.”

“I think…I don’t even know how to say this.” I didn’t know this woman, but she was a respected member of the Sawtooth pack who’d been considered an outsider just a few years ago. “That it’s possible that I’ve been spelled my whole life.”

She nodded. “My theory on magic is its science we have yet to explain. I could do more tests on you, but it’s unlikely that we’ll get a definitive answer. Did you feel different under this spell than you usually do?”

I groaned. “I’m having a lot of complicated feelings since I arrived in Granger Falls.”

“Let me guess, those feelings are named Bellamy?” She grinned.

“We also have a complicated history.”

“If you stick around, I’d love to hear the whole story over a beer. I can introduce you to the rest of the ladies in the pack. They’ll love you.”

“Not sure I’m sticking around.” I twisted my hands in my lap. “It’s a weird feeling, knowing I can’t go home right now, because it doesn’t exist in the way that I thought it did. But I’m not sure I can stay here, either.”

I was pouring my heart out to this almost stranger. Not like me at all. I always played tough. Didn’t show anyone my emotions.

“I get that. I was always told Sawtooth Forest was the most dangerous place on earth. So when I got a call to come here to save one of these wolves that I’d been taught to fear, I was terrified. But it was the best decision I’ve ever made.” She tipped her head and smiled at me. “And judging by the way Bellamy absolutely glows when he looks at you, I don’t think he’ll mind if you stay.”

“Like I said, it’s complicated.” I needed to be straight with her. “I rejected his mate claim.”

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