Page 101 of Get Me to the Starting Line

I choke on my sip of water. There’s no way in hell I’d let anyone else pack for me. Even when I was getting ready to move here, I had to make Paige go away because she was doing it wrong. Paige smiles knowingly. Clearly both our minds went back to a year and half ago.

There’s a knock on the door. Expecting Maggie, I smile and go over to open it, coming face to face with the last person I expected.

Julien.

Julien at my door.

I don’t think my brain is working.

“What’re you doing here?” I blurt out, proving my point.

“Hey, Maggie, you’re a bit early, Leah’s making—” Paige stops abruptly when she rounds the corner to see Julien. “Oh, hey, Jules.”

He rolls his eyes, and the look is so playful I want to cry.

“Hey, Paige, I didn’t know you’d be here.” I haven’t heard his deep, quiet voice in so long, it’s a balm to my ears.

I’m so hopeless. Three months has not been long enough to stifle my feelings towards him. In reality, it’s made them worse. I thoughtthe space would be good, clear the fog of desire and infatuation from my head. As if too much exposure is what made me think I was in love with him.

Turns out, not enough exposure was a torture I wasn’t expecting. Maybe seeing him every few days while running kept him at the forefront of my mind, but I was never any good at lying to myself.

I’m still in love with him.

And I still don’t know if I can have him.

Maybe that’s why I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. Because thereisa possibility he retires and stays here. Though he could still retire and move back to Montreal since that’s home and where his dad lives.

But that small possibility he’ll stay, it keeps the hope alive—and hope is a dangerous thing. Hope has kept my feelings intact and my heart gripping tightly to the chance that I could be with him.

“Can I come in?” he asks quietly, his eyes tracing my face as if he’s memorizing my features. A flush creeps up the back of my neck. I can’t speak, so I nod and step aside so he can come in.

“Woo! Woo!” Levi calls from his seat when he sees Julien, making a solid escape attempt. Paige catches him before he can climb all the way out.

“Coucou, mon petit loup,” Julien coos. Seeing this hulking giant melt into a puddle in front of my now two-year-old is not fair.

It’s then I notice he has a present.

“Who told you it was Levi’s birthday?”

He turns and gives me a half smile. “Adam.”

Of course. Paige has been keeping a healthy distance from the subject, but those Harrison siblings, especially Adam and Isabel, are all over me all the time. Adam is the biggest meddler I know. He gets it from Maggie, but she has more tact.

“Can I?” he asks, gesturing to the gift.

I’m ninety-five percent happy for my son. And five percent jealous. Julien didn’t get me a present for my birthday. I kick myself for thinking the selfish thought. He was respecting my space.

The fact that he’s here for Levi, even though Levi probably won’t remember, is almost too much to bear. Why does he have to be so perfect?

“Let me clean his hands,” I say, automatically putting a hand on his bicep to stop his approach to my messy toddler.

The sound of his quick inhale goes straight to my lady bits. Wow, doesn’t take much, does it? No one has affected me the way Julien does. One sound of his breathing and I’m a goner.

To distract myself from thoughts of Julien, I wipe Levi down and unbuckle him, bringing him to the living room. Levi doesn’t stay on the couch though. He runs over, taking a series of adorable, bouncy little steps to throw himself at Julien.

Julien doesn’t miss a beat, dropping the present and swinging Levi up into his arms.

“Woo!”

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