Page 132 of Get Me to the Starting Line

“Any news?” I ask, changing the subject. My eyes fix on the whitecaps in the bay.

Adam takes the change in conversation in stride and pulls out his phone. “Not yet, and the Whales haven’t signed a goalie so I’m not sure what’s going on. We’ll know soon.” He braces a hand on my shoulder to reassure me.

I sigh. “I wish I could ask him.”

For once, Adam doesn’t pester me, doesn’t make a joke about how cute our babies would be. “I know.”

That surprises me. I tear my attention away from the water to look at him. He’s assessing me. What does he see?

“You do?”

He nods. “When I thought Paige hadn’t texted me back, all I wanted to do was reach out to her. For months I thought about her every day, stalked her online.” He chuckles at the memory. “But I couldn’t bring myself to do it because I didn’t want to overstep, I didn’t want to push.”

“Do you regret it? Now that you know she messed up your number, do you wish you had reached out sooner?”

He shakes his head. “That’s an impossible question. Of course I wish I could’ve had those two extra years with her. When we’re old and running out of time, I think I’ll regret it, knowing no time with her will ever be enough. I’ll want those two years.”

“But?”

He looks at me again. “But who’s to say we would’ve worked if I had reached out? Or if she got my number right. Maybe this is how it was supposed to play out, so we were both ready for this kind of love when we found each other again.”

Hearing this man speak so openly about his feelings for my sister makes my heart squeeze. My nose stings with tears, but some small part of me is so sad I don’t have that. Or maybe I do.

Ninety-five percent happy.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing the right thing, giving him space.”

Even though I know it’s the right thing, it feels good to have someone who’s close to Julien agree with me.

“Thank you.”

“How are things with Ian?”

I’m grateful he’s the one to change the topic this time. Anything to distract myself from losing Julien. This, at least, is something that’s gone my way.

“He was pissed as a chihuahua when the judge denied his request.”

“I bet.”

“I told him even though he didn’t win, if he wanted to be a part of Levi’s life, he could prove to both of us he truly wants it.”

“That’s generous of you.”

“I thought so.”

“And what did he say?”

“He told me to go fuck myself and went back to Utah.”

“Good riddance.”

I wish that had been the end of it. But the second he got back to Utah, he tried to go to the press with my research. Luckily I still have some connections down there, so a friend, Paige’s old running buddy Sadie, called me to tell me about it.

He thought he could use me, manipulate me the way he used to, but he doesn’t know me anymore. He doesn’t know this version of me. I slapped him with a lawsuit so fast I hope he felt it. And like any dirtbag, he crawled back to the hole he came out of.

Adam slings his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in for a side hug, planting a kiss on the top of my head. My vision blurs asI soak in the affection of my brother, so grateful to have him in my life. He holds me there, lending me his strength.

Paige looks over to us and smiles, her face full of love. God, I’m lucky.

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