I was irrationally pissed, yet pissed all the same.
Alexis’ gaze hit mine for the first time, most likely in reaction to my shaky, irritated tone. And without her having to ask, I spilled all my shit at her feet. “Everly is long gone, and not a part of my life. Hasn’t been for years now. What do you think I’ve been doing all this time, playing happy families?
Alexis blanched, processing the new intel. “I-I don’t know. I refused to look into it, rejected anything pertaining to you. I didn’t think I could handle that type of information.”
Gosh, after so much time, there was stillso much pain. In me. In her. I could hear it in Alexis’ voice, see the truth in her eyes, the very lining of her expression. It mirrored mine.
I had no chance of controlling my impulses as I stepped forward and spoke my truth—the truth I had bottled up and let percolate over the past four and a half years.
“Well, listen, and listen good Alexis, ’cause this is all theinformationyou will ever need from me. Losing you was the biggest regret of myentirelife. I was a fool, a coward, a goddamn wretch. I made a mistake. A terrible, unforgivable mistake that ruined me,ruinedus.I hurt the person I love the most over a fucking con, a gimmick that I wasn’t strong enough to fight on my own.”
Alexis was completely frozen as I slammed her with my sincerity. It was my first opportunity since everything had gone down to speak. And I wasn’t holding back, not anymore.
I took another step closer. “There is no child. There is no Everly. There is no other woman for me,ever.”
Tears lined my eyes as I poured everything I had into Alexis. Submitting to my selfish needs, I skimmed my fingers down her cheek. “I never got to apologise. Although it feels like I’ve beenscreaming the words for years. This may not mean anything to you now, but here it is anyway.” My hand pushed further, cupping the side of her face.So precious.
“I’m sorry, Alexis. I will forever be sorry. I know you deserve more than a measly apology, but that’s all I have to give. All my remorse and regret.I’m sorry, baby.”
Tears gathered in her eyes to match mine. Unable to watch them spill over, I removed my touch.
Looking at her was too much. The touch of her skin was too much. Those unsettling, chaotic emotions wereall too fucking much.
Without waiting for a reply, I got in my car and screeched out of the parking lot, unable to survive any hate she may have harboured towards me despite knowing I wholeheartedly deserved it.
Chapter 18
ALEXIS
Weeks turned over as Austin and I adjusted to our new life after moving in with my parents. Dad had been discharged from hospital with ongoing outpatient rehab. I resigned from my previous job and found a replacement in the closest hospital. Austin was signed up to pre-school and had already made a best friend.
My boy was thriving in the new environment and was happy and spoilt by his grandparents. We did miss Aunty Alicia and living with her, but we spoke every day if only to make sure she was okay on her own. The town had welcomed us back with open arms, and that familiar sense of “home” settled in.
And then there was Owen. After his apology, I began seeing him everywhere but also not at all. He remained my dad’sphysiotherapist, assisting with his recovery beyond the bounds of professional obligation. And Dad was more than receptive to his care, his condition improving beyond our expectations. I also bumped into Owen on shift, since we both worked in the same hospital.
Despite the proximity, he kept his distance, which had me questioning his motives, his actions and words. I didn’t know what to make of the whole scenario. He had apologised, which was sincere and raw. What I wasn’t prepared for was my reaction. I wanted to find out what had happened. I finally felt strong enough to know the details, although I couldn’t pinpoint why his answers would matter after so long.
Am I looking for closure? To finally make peace with the situation? Does it even matter anymore?
After Owen’s confession in the car park, I subtly dug for more information from my parents. They didn’t budge, and refused to get involved.
“You shut us out for so long, sweetheart,” Mum said, voice reserved but resolute. “You refused to hear anything that was remotely associated with him. We couldn’t even mention his name. And that’s okay because that’s how you had to heal. But, Alexis, if you want to know more, you have to ask him yourself.”
Her statement hit me with the hard slap of realism. When I had ditched town, I lefteverythingbehind, not wanting a single reminder of my life in Acacia Falls since it was so systematically linked to Owen.
I knew it was an unhealthy way to live, but for me, it was a matter of survival. However, my parents unintentionally became a part of the fallout.
In those initial months, I slowly iced them out, constantly terrified that something would be brought up to trigger me, purely based on their location and proximity to my ex. I hadforgotten that I wasn’t the only one who lost something—they had lost a son and daughter, both in one hit.
It was unfair and unwarranted, and I had hurt them deeply. Things got better after I got pregnant with Austin. I had a newfound purpose—another human being depending on me to be the best version of myself.
Austin brought us back together. With a baby comes unconditional love, and there’s so much more to spare and go around.
So, after that reminder of my past regrets, I hugged my mother from behind, squeezing tight. “You’re right, Mama. Thank you for being there for me… through everything. You’re the best parents, and I couldn’t have done it without you.”
Mum squeezed me back, a silent gesture to say she had heard my words and accepted them.
It was Saturday, and Austin was bouncing around his room like an overexcited puppy, checking and rechecking his sports uniform.