Page 119 of Never Left You

“I think there’s bits and pieces you need to know.”

She swallowed. “Tell me.”

My breath shook as I took a deep inhale, watching as her eyes danced as they searched me.

“Tell me,” she repeated, her hand reaching up to caress my cheek.

“Abs.” I lifted her, feeling her legs wrap around my waist as I walked up to the bed, taking a seat on the edge, my hands sliding up her back. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been with you right now, and I’m terrified that what I’m about to tell you is going to change everything.”

She shook her head, stopping to kiss me gently. “Can I tell you what I pictured today? When you went with Quinn, right before Carolyn showed up?”

“What?”

“I saw you, and me...” she paused, a slight smile spreading across her lips. Her cheeks blushed as she lifted a hand to gentle touch my hair, her fingers moving to the nape of my neck. “And Stetson. At rodeos together, traveling, at the ranch riding. You two together. The three of us. Together. You hand in hand with him. Us…as a family.”

“A family?” I whispered, my voice shaky.

She nodded. “I’m in this Cash, if you are too. Carolyn can’t scare me away.”

I licked my lips. “She can’t but…what if…”

“No what ifs. Tell me.”

I took a deep breath, focusing on Abi’s blue eyes as they pierced into me. She was giving me no reason to believe she would leave me now. She was giving me everything, all overagain. I swallowed, and began, “Carolyn and I weren’t good for each other. From the moment we met until the second she ran out of the doctor’s appointment—”

“She left you at a doctor’s appointment?” Abi snarled, her eyes turning from love to hatred.

I nodded. “Stay with me.”

Abi placed her hands on my shoulders and closed her eyes, giving me a nod.

“I tried to fill a void. She wanted a lavish rodeo lifestyle. She wanted the buckle bunny life forever, and she thought that she would get that with me. I was that life for her, until I wasn’t anymore. I thought I loved her, or I wanted to believe I loved her. I think she wanted to believe she loved me, too. I wanted what you and Sylas had—but if I’m being one hundred percent honest, I wanted it with you. I would never have done anything, you and Sylas…you two were—”

“We’re not talking about Sylas and me,” she stopped me. “I know you wouldn’t have even considered trying to take me from him. You knew you didn’t stand a chance.” She smiled, trying to break the tension with a tease.

It worked. I chuckled, shaking my head slightly. “No…but I tried to duplicate it. With the wrong person. Carolyn was manipulative, she gaslit, she cheated, she tried her hardest to pull me away from you, and I hate to admit it worked for a time. But then my accident”—I met her gaze—“took more away than just my career.”

“Your leg.” She touched my leg softly. “I know you still feel pain.”

“I do. But it’s manageable. I do acupuncture and physical therapy stretches for it. I take care of myself…but…if it were just my leg…”

“What else is it then? What are you beating around the bush for?”

“I can’t have children,” I blurted out. No morebeating around the bush.“The doctors told us details, but it came down to the injuries I received from the accident. The pressure from the horses’ body was on me just long enough to crush my left side. I had to have so many surgeries; you’ve seen the scars on my femur and knees…but I also had to have repair surgeries near my groin and abdomen. I wish I knew the terms they used off the top of my head, but…the chances of me having children are slim to none. Not gone…but…slim. I take daily medication for testosterone levels, and I stick to physicals each year…and nothing has changed. Having my own just isn’t in my future.”

Abi’s jaw grew tense as if she were chewing on her cheek. “And Carolyn, when she found out…”

“She walked out of that doctor’s appointment, took the car, and then one week later filed for divorce.”

“She really is a bitch, isn’t she? What did you ever see in her?”

“At first…a good time. I was the one who tried for more. Like I said atfirst…it was good, but she wanted to have children. She wanted to have that name. And she went and found it.”

“But…you told me she didn’t want kids?” Abi asked, her brow pinching.

I twisted my lips, “No, I said it wasn’t in the cards, not that she didn’t want any. She’s always wanted to have a family. I just couldn’t give that to her.”

“You said she cheated?”

---