Page 137 of Never Left You

Suddenly—the sensation made sense.

“Excuse me.” I kissed Stet on the crown of his head before leaving the room.

Not knowing quite where to go, I went to the stables. I could brush and prepare Nova for the night, even though she was most likely already settled in, but at least the time with her would allow me to think.

The longer Abi and I tested fate by not using any method of birth control only proved to me that having a baby of my own with her was completely out of the question. And seeing her, holding a perfect baby girl, only made me want that more and more.

The box in my pocket burned hotter.

Abi had told me months ago that I was all she needed. She had a family with me and Stetson, and that was enough for her. It didn’t matter that we couldn’t expand and fill this huge house with more kids. Little miniature versions of myself and Abi, our skin tones blending together perfectly. That would never happen. We wouldn’t be the ones greeted by family and freshmac n cheese as we came home from the hospital. It would never be real.

I licked my lips. It was more than that.

That feeling of being a father…

Thawp.

“Shit…”

A sharp pain hit the back of my head, a grunt leaving my lips as I looked on the ground to see…a horse brush.

Holding the back of my head, I turned and saw Abi, standing next to the open tack shed, her hands on her hips.

“You just threw a brush at me,” I grumbled, attempting to keep the smile that so badly wanted to come out away.

“It was the only way to get you out of your head,” she teased. She put her hands on her hips and waited for me to come to her. I took a few steps, still rubbing the back of my head.

“I think you drew blood.”

“I threw it harder last time and you didn’t bleed.”

I snorted. “You should be inside.”

“So should you. Your niece is in there.” Abi pointed to the house. “So why the hell did you come to sulk out here?”

“I’m not sulking.”

“There’s only room for one brooding cowboy on this ranch Cash Callahan, and I hate to tell you that Lachlan owns that title.” She smiled, bringing back yet another memory from what seemed like so long ago. I couldn’t help but grin. I grunted and looked down at my boots, closing my eyes tight.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her arms sliding around my waist.

“You look beautiful holding a baby,” I whispered.

“Do I?” She raised a brow.

I nodded. “I know you don’t care but…I’ll never be able to give you that. I’ll never get to feel what Rhett feels…I’ll never…”

“You came out here to sulk about not having kids?” She arched her back. “Are you comparing our perfect life to Rhett’s?”

“Well…” I twisted my lips. “When you put it that way, it sounds childish. I’m not meaning to…I just…want that. With you. And seeing you hold a baby made me remember just how impossible it is.”

“Impossible?” Abi parroted.

Lowering my chin, I nodded.

Abi moved, catching me off guard as she began feeling my body, her hands moving rapidly as they began to rummage through every pocket. Her hair moved from side to side as she put her hands everywhere, and I meaneverywhere.

“What are you...” I watched as she pulled the pockets inside out.

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