“Hey, if it wasn’t for me, Rhett and Kyla would have never gotten married, and she would still be in Washington running from her ex. If I can call Rhett’s future, I can call Lachlan’s.” I circled my shoulders, feeling my muscles relax.
“And what about Wyatt?”
“Maybe someday, but for now he’s a lost cause. He’ll be chasing those girls at rodeos until they turn him down.” I shifted, scooching my ass into the cushion even more.
“And you?” His voice was heavy as he spoke.
I met his gaze. What about me? Was that one of the questions burning behind his pupils? Out of all the questions that were running through his mind, this is the one he decided to ask? Besides, didn’t I already have my happy ending?
“I got everything I need right here,” I lied.
He pinched his brow. “Everything?”
I nodded slowly. “Everything.”
He mimicked my nod, before turning his head to look out into the night sky.
“And you?” I parroted his question.
His shoulders raised. “I could use a bit more,” he admitted.
“A bit more of what?” I asked, more out of curiosity, actually finding myself enjoying his company.
He shrugged, then with one loud groan, plopped back onto the wicker chair. “More of this.” He waved his hand in the air.
“Nighttime porch talks in the freezing cold?” I said, a hint of sarcasm in my voice.
His eyes hit mine, and they told me everything I needed to know. It wasn’t just late night talks on the porch in the cold, shivering our asses off. He missed this, probably just as much as I did. He wanted the old times back—everything we used to have.
He laughed humorlessly. “Something like that.”
I studied him then. His smile faded slowly as his body relaxed into the chair. A heavy sigh left his nose while his chin raised in the air. I had always thought Cash was handsome. His tawny skin had just the right glow to it, and he was perfectly flawless, especially now with the moonlight hitting him. He closed his eyes and swallowed, his Adam's apple moving. He looked tired, but that didn’t take away from the rugged features he carried. His chiseled jawline was lightly dusted with a five o’clock shadow that traveled down his chin, defining his features more. His chest and arms were toned from years of being on a horse, training for strength, and ranch work. Even with layers of clothing to keep out the cold, I could see it. I could remember his hugs. Solid and safe. I always felt safe in Cash’s presence.
“So,” I broke the silence, finally getting up the courage. “What happened with Carolyn?”
Cash’s head flipped, landing with a bob as his eyes rolled at me. “What? Don’t you miss her.”
I bit my lip and held back a chuckle. “Oh, hell no. She always rubbed me the wrong way, but…you loved her so…we loved her.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, turning away from me. “She didn’t love me. The moment I broke my leg and I didn’t fit that mold anymore, the moment I couldn’t…” He stopped himselfand took a deep breath, his palm landing on his knee with a smack. “She left. Filed for divorce. I wasn’t what she wanted.”
“Her loss,” I scoffed, even though my mind was circling on his unfinished sentence.
“I don’t know where she is now and don’t care to find out. She got what she wanted out of the divorce and then left my life. Lachlan didn’t lie when he said we celebrated. We did.”
“I’m sorry that happened. I know you loved her.”
“I don’t think I ever really did. I just wanted to feel like I had that…you know.” He turned to me. “I would see Lachlan and Hadley, you and Sylas…I wanted…needed that, and Carolyn, she was the first one to really give it to me. Not that it was real.”
I hummed. “Well, she never deserved you.” Shifting in my seat, I lowered the blanket to my waist, feeling the brisk air through my sweater. “And you’re happy? Without her?”
“It’s been three years since the divorce was finalized. I wouldn’t say they were the best three years of my life, but they were better than when she was with me.”
“That’s…”
“Depressing?” Cash let out a small scoff, leaning forward in the chair. “Yeah, well…”
“Life goes on, doesn’t it? No matter what curve balls it throws at you.”