Page 39 of Never Left You

“Fear.” I finally said out loud. “I was messed up after my accident. Took me a long time to get back on any horse once I could fully walk again.”

“How long have you been taking training jobs?”

“Quinn’s my first client. My only client as of right now. We’re in year two.”

Abi’s eyebrows raised. “And what did you do for the years before training?”

I met her gaze. “Recovered.”

She didn’t respond to that. She didn’t need to. She knew what I was recovering from. Losing Sylas. My accident. The divorce.

“I’m not fully recovered.” I stuck my left leg out in front of me. “I still get this shooting pain in my leg sometimes, like just now. When I stepped on the gate, I felt it. It reminds me to go easy on myself. I guarantee you I’ll always feel that spark of pain.”

“Do you think you’ll even ride bronc again?”

I shook my head. “Nope. I miss it, but I can’t. So, I immersed myself in other ways. Most trainers don’t follow clients to rodeos. Me…I’d follow Quinn to each and every event just so I could still be a part of it.”

“How the hell do you afford that?”

I raised a brow. “I was very smart with my money, let’s say that.”

“So.” Abi stretched her arms out, taking a big exhale through her lips before pulling herself back to the gate. “You go to rodeos, and you miss it, but you won’t ride. You’re still afraid?”

“Terrified.” I didn’t drop a beat.

She hummed. “Wanna know what I think?”

“I have a feeling you’re gonna tell me no matter what.”

Abi jumped off the gate. “I think you need to take your own advice and get back on a bucking horse. You know damn well you can do it. You’re making your client do it. Take your own damn advice.” Walking behind me, she entered the arena. “I’ll take Charming out to the pasture,” she told Quinn, taking his lead with ease. She gave me a wink, much like the one I gave her earlier, as she passed me.

That night, I found myself knocking on Rhett’s door. He answered, an eyebrow raising high once he saw me. He was already dressed in a t-shirt and sweats, basically turned in for the night. Leaning against his door frame he crossed his arms across his chest.

“Hey, sorry to bother you.” I scratched the nape of my neck, still not sure about what the hell I was really doing. Abi’s words got to me, and they had been ringing in my ears ever since. I had watched Quinn take Hook around the arena. Her back was stiff, but she eventually loosened up, her confidence coming back after a few runs around. When I added a barrel, it was as if she never took a fall.

I needed to take my own advice.

“You’re not bothering us, what’s up?” he asked, lifting his chin in the air.

“I was wondering if you could help me with something.”

Forty minutes later, Rhett, Lachlan, and I stood in the arena with one of the Hartwell’s horses in the chute. I pulled my gloves for the tenth time as I watched Lachlan adjust the flanking strap. My heart was racing. I hadn’t done this in three—damn, almost four years. I had ridden a horse, sure—Nova and I were naturals—but getting on a horse that was purposefully trying to buck me off was a different story. I knew the motions. I knew what to do. It was like riding a bike…right? Arm up, legs straight, back loose, shoulders square…but the last time I was on a horse, my posture was perfect, and I still fumbled. Who’s to say it wouldn’t happen again?

“He’s a bucker”—Lachlan looked up at me—“even without the strap. Are you sure?”

“Positive,” I answered, hearing the shake in my voice. I was anything but positive. “You got the gate, Rhett?”

Holding onto the rope, Rhett nodded. “Kinda wish Wyatt was here. He could help.”

“I’ll jump on Onyx the minute the shoot opens. I’ll be the pickup,” Lachlan answered. “Wyatt wouldn’t be much help anyway.”

“I could get on a horse,” Kyla, who sat in the stands, called back. She was cuddled in a blanket, her boots untied as if she had just tossed them on.

“No.” Rhett pointed at her, a little too defensively. He cleared his throat and lowered his finger as Kyla gave him a smirk. “I mean, you just sit back and relax. You’re keeping time.”

Kyla waved the small timer she held in the air. “Eight seconds.”

“Maybe lower it to six?” Rhett looked over at me. “It’s been years since you’ve done this.”

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