Page 56 of Never Left You

“It’s not that simple,” I muttered.

“It could be. Cash seems like an amazing man. He cares about the ranch, he’s helping without being paid. He adoresStetson, and I can tell by the way he looks at you that he missed you, too. Maybe he’s not sure how to respond to your messages, or maybe he’s just as confused as you are. So maybe….don’t be mad at him anymore.”

“That simple?”

Kyla shrugged her shoulder. She rounded the island and pulled me into a side hug. “You are the sunshine to the ranch, even if you are hiding something deeper that we are unaware of. You’re not one to hold grudges. You’re the one who takes the reins and pushes through no matter what. Take the reins here, talk through all these emotions—I’m here if you need to vent—and decide if you want Cash in your life for a while, or for a season. Either way it works…but that stomach flip?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m trying to ignore that.”

Kyla let out a small chuckle. “Which is fine, but it really could bethatsimple to not be mad at him anymore.”

Cash stayed for dinner. He sat across the table from me, Stetson settling in right next to him. The entire time, Cash carried on conversation with my mother, asking her if she was looking forward to her retirement coming up, which turned into all the trips she and my father had begun planning, which then turned into when the ranch would get handed down to Rhett and me.

I found it hard to concentrate on the conversation.

My concentration was on the man in front of me. Not on the ranch.

Could it really be that simple to just stop being mad at him? There was too much there to just stop being mad…right? Clearly, I’d have to talk to him first—one hundred percent clear the airwhen it came to him. Tell him why I threw that brush at his head, ask him why he still hasn’t answered any of my messages, ask him why he left, everything would need to be answered before I could just stop being mad.

With how open he was this morning, telling me he saw himself as weak, I knew he would have no issue sitting down and talking with me. It was up to me to find the courage to do it. It had been so long; things had bottled up for so…damn…long. I wasn’t even sure how to begin the conversation.

Do you have a minute…I’d like to clear the air here…

Hey so I’m noticing things, and feeling things I didn’t before…but so I’m not angry all the time, wanna chat?

Don’t take this the wrong way…but…so I don’t hate you…can you tell me why you vanished?

Did you mean to just toss us aside?

Nothing seemed good enough. It would have to happen naturally. An ‘in the moment’ type of conversation.

But there were things that weren’t there before. I noticed the way he was looking at me. A soft smile would appear when we made eye contact even for the briefest second. His eyes would trail and linger on my lips before he would return to the conversation at hand, but the moment he could, his focus was back on me. I could feel him even if I wasn’t looking, and as hard as I was trying not to look, I always found my gaze flickering back to him.

I had to force myself to not think about those flutters that were growing in my chest.

And before I could do anything—before I could even pretend to acknowledge whatever it was that was ‘fluttering’ in me—I had to talk to him.

“Quinn seems to be doing better.” My mother lifted her wine glass to her lips as she looked over at Cash.

“Yes, ma’am.” Cash leaned back into his chair, resting his arm on the back of Stetson’s chair. “She rounded the barrels this afternoon and did great, needs to gain speed though.”

“She’ll be back on the dirt before she knows it. Maybe I’ll just have to show her how it’s done sometime.” My mom chuckled, doing a small dance in her seat. If anyone in Alpine Ridge could show Quinn how to barrel race, it was my mother. “Do you think we can get Quinn and you on the board for the Fourth of July, Cash?” Mom gently set her glass down and gave him a pointed look.

“Quinn, yes. Me? No, ma’am.” Cash tilted his head. “I couldn’t compete again.”

“He did get on a horse the other night though,” I spoke up. “He says he wants to again tonight. How about it, Rhett? You up for it?”

“Hell yeah.” Rhett shifted in his seat. “I need to get some roping in, too. We can have our own mini rodeo in the arena tonight. Whatcha’ say Lach?”

“I’ll be the pickup again,” Lachlan mumbled, standing up with his empty plates. “Stetson, help me with dishes, and then we can go get the calves if your uncle is thinking he’s roping tonight.”

Stetson jumped up from the table, grabbing his and Cash’s plates right before he went to follow Lachlan into the kitchen.

“I told you, you aren’t going to get Lachlan on bareback again.” Cash’s hushed tone barely reached me over the table.

I gave him a cheeky grin. “I didn’t say anything. Rhett did. Don’t give up so soon.”

Cash raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his seat. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

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