Page 73 of Never Left You

“And what exactly are you holding back?”

“Everything.” I said softly, just loud enough for her to hear. I was holding back more than just my past with Carolyn. I didn’t want to talk about the past in this moment. I wanted to be present with Abi.

She arched her back slightly. “Everything?”

I gave her a single nod and flattened my hand against the small of her back, pulling her even closer to me.

“I’ve always thought you were beautiful, gorgeous,stunning.” I swayed us, my eyes locking with hers. “Even when you’re deep in a stable, mud on your shoes, and shit under your fingernails, you’re the most gorgeous person in the bar. No woman would amount to you. Ever. I consider myself lucky just to be dancing with you now.”

She let out a soft laugh. “Next thing I know you’re going to tell me you were jealous of Sylas.”

I took a deep breath. “I won’t lie and say I never had some feelings when it came to you.” I let out a small chuckle with my breath. “Hell, I hit on you.” Abi rolled her eyes at me, her head turning to the side. Using my thumb and forefinger, I gently brought her attention back to me. “But you and Sylas, that was love. I was never ever jealous of him. You belonged with him in every sense of the word. I was jealous of the next guy. The guywho got to comfort you when you felt alone. The guy who kissed away your fears and laughed when you were happy. The guy who spent time with you in the stables, who watched you flourish after losing so much. I was jealous of the man after Sylas.”

She stopped swaying, forcing me to still.

“There was never a man after Sylas,” she said nervously, a slight shake to her voice.

“I didn’t know that. After Carolyn…after that whole disaster…I would think of you, that maybe…I could come and show you how much I cared for you. But the thought always hit me that you were already happy with someone else.”

“I…” Abi stumbled. “I wasn’t.”

“You could have been. You could have had any guy, though none of them would have deserved you. You’re perfect Abi, in every way. I’ve known that since the first moment I saw you, and I’ve wanted to show you that. From the second I saw you again, after years…I knew those feelings I’ve carried…they’ve never gone away. But I was never going to be deserving of you. So, no.” My eyes began to search her, noticing the way her lips parted and the way her chest rose with each breath. “I was never, ever jealous of Sylas. I was jealous of that guy who was going to be next. The guy you deserved.”

“The guy I deserve,” she repeated, before she rose, and her lips crashed into mine.

Twenty-Three

Abi

Cash’sfingersthreadedthroughmy hair as he pulled me deeper into him. His kiss was just as I imagined, just as intoxicating. I let out the softest sigh, and Cash took the bait, sliding his tongue in to meet mine, sending a shock wave through my entire body. Everything was pushed from my mind as I began to float, and this kiss was the only thing keeping me grounded. I clutched the nape of his neck. I gripped his shirt, becoming greedy with him. He couldn’t get close enough, even though our bodies were flush against one another. I needed more of him.

Everything around me faded as Cash’s fingers slid under my tank top, his calloused fingers only adding to the current that flowed between us. He broke the kiss for a second, allowing both of us to get some air before he claimed me again, this time his palm against my back, as the desire got thicker, stronger—flooding me.

I was drowning.

And I didn’t want to come up for air.

This felt right; this felt so good.Hefelt so good. His body against me, his hands on my skin, his lips dancing with mine. Everything felt so…so…

No.

Not tonight…

My senses returned in a rush, the loud noise from the bar hit me like a ton of bricks and it suddenly hit mewhoI was kissing.

Cash.

No.

I broke the kiss, the sizzling desire of the moment before still buzzing in my veins, but no, no, no...

I moved faster than I planned, pushing him away to arm’s length, feeling my entire body shake and heat rise in me. This wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing with him. This wasn’t supposed to feel so right. I had so many things I needed to do first, so many things I needed to say. We needed to be friends again. I wasn’t supposed towanthim. Not tonight, not like this.

“Abs,” he groaned as he stepped back into my space, his hand lightly touching my elbow.

I met his gaze. He was breathing rapidly, most likely just as quick as I was. His eyes were heavy, and his lips…

I dipped my chin, ignoring the urge to kiss him again.

---