Page 2 of Spring Break with a Rockstar

two

Serena

Eighteen Months Later

“Why did you wantto become a rock star?"

“Can you keep a secret? I’m more partial to country music than rock.”

“Are you serious?”

“Dead serious. I grew up listening to all the great country artists from the ’80s and '90s, but my all-time favorite country singer is Johnny Cash…”

Every so often, memories of our one night together come flooding back, making my heart ache for what might have been if things had gone differently.

“Earth to mommy. This little guy is ready to be fed.” McKenna bounces my son in her arms, his little fist stuffed in his mouth as a hearty yell escapes around his hand.

He’s such a good baby. He only cries when he’s hungry or needs to be changed. Otherwise, he smiles and coos all the time.

I’m not sure what I would have done without McKenna and Creed, especially during the first few weeks after the baby was born. They were a Godsend since I didn’t have a boyfriend or husband to help feed him during the night. They took turns bottle-feeding him my breast milk while I slept or ran errands during the day.

“Come here, little love.” I take my baby from McKenna, lifting my shirt in the privacy of the back room of the tattoo shop, holding him just right so he can latch on.

I rub my cheek against his soft baby hair, causing him to smile around my nipple, his bright blue eyes so much like his father’s shining back at me.

“Are you ever going to tell us who his father is?” McKenna has asked me this question a hundred times since I told her I was pregnant.

The ironic part of my baby’s father's story is that the only person who ever saw us together was Netty and Jax’s manager, Amber. Netty is fiercely loyal to those she cares about, and since she has basically adopted me over the last eighteen months, my secret is safe with her.

As far as Amber is concerned, she couldn’t wait to get rid of me after I signed the nondisclosure agreement the next morning. So, I’m confident my secret is safe with her.

“Like I’ve told you before, his father is a busy man who was only here for a short time on vacation.” I hate lying to my friends, but it’s somewhat the truth.

“Are you sure it’s someone from out of town? Is he married?” McKenna glances from my baby to me. “He looks familiar to me somehow.” I silently pray she doesn’t piece that night together. The last time she saw Jax and me together, we were arguing.

I don’t blame myself for my lapse in judgment in trusting Jax when he took me back to his hotel room and told me he was a virgin, which led to us having sex without a condom. However, that was partially my fault for falling for his lies and ultimately agreeing to have sex without protection.

Actually, I’m glad it happened, or I wouldn’t have my little angel, now sleeping soundly in my arms.

“I think you watch way too many of those Dateline shows. Not every mystery needs to be solved.” I hold my baby tighter in my arms. I can’t imagine my life without my baby, and I don’t want to speak ill of the man who helped create him.

“Fine.” My friend fake pouts, crossing her arms over her chest. “But seriously, what will you tell him when he’s old enough to ask about his father?”

McKenna’s question has kept me up countless nights worrying about how to tell my baby that his father doesn’t even know he exists. According to Jax’s manager, he does this all the time. That’s why he was gone in the morning when I woke up, and she was in the bedroom, holding the NDA paperwork while nudging my shoulder to wake me up.

I try not to remember that part of my time with Jax. Only focusing on the good parts, like the sex and the private conversations we had in the darkness of the hotel room while he held me tight.

“Hopefully, by the time this little guy is old enough to ask, I’ll have found someone who loves me and will love him like his own.”

“Like Hell you will!” A snarling Jax shoves his way into the room, with an equally angry Creed close behind him.

“I told you once, Shepard, you’re not welcome in my tattoo shop, ever,” Creed yells, causing my baby to wake up with a jerk. He starts to scream at the top of his little lungs, his eyes welling with tears.

“Baby?” Jax jerks his gaze from mine to the screaming baby in my arms. His eyes widen comically when they land on the baby, as if he just realizes I’m holding one. Jax moves closer to where I’m sitting, never taking his eyes off the baby. The baby watches him back as his screams quiet down. Time stands still as father and son stare into each other’s matching eyes, “What’s our baby’s name, Serena?”

At McKenna’s sharp intake of breath and Creed’s growl, I know it’s time to come clean and tell the truth. “Our son’s name is Cash.”

The room begins to spin, so I take a deep breath to steady my racing thoughts. Memories of that morning strike me hard and fast.

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